


FINNDUNE

by Jacob_Matson



Category: Noah (2014), Original Work, Pitch Black (2000), Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
Genre: Disappointment Traps, F/M, Fault Trees, Rashomon Effect
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:29:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 65,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27073510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jacob_Matson/pseuds/Jacob_Matson
Summary: A meditation on grief.The cascade effect of Lissie's death.Freeform AU.





	1. House Call

Let me tell you about my masseuse, a woman in an elegant evening gown tells her friend - as they sip cocktails at a reception at the Russian embassy.

You have to try him, Anna.

My husband is so jealous; he'd have him killed.

Who am I going to kill? Pavel asks with a grin, as he walks over with the ambassador.

She wants me to try her masseuse at the club. He's cured her migraines. Please, may I go for one session?

Is he blue?

And that makes it okay? His wife questions him, laughing.

If this creature can oil your naked body without being aroused, Tatty, he tells his wife's companion, then he must be. Those gathered around them laugh heartily.

It's not like that, she protests.

Was there music playing? The ambassador asks, and then laughs at his own joke.

NO – it's not a porno. What's wrong with you guys?

So what's it like? Anna asks her.

So I undress, and lay facedown on the massage table. Of course, I'm covered with a sheet. And there is a knock on the door. And he comes in.

Can we smoke in here? Pavel suddenly asks those assembled and listening in. Everyone laughs again. Tatty shakes her head, and continues the story.

He's homely and short, perhaps mid twenties at first glance, but maybe older. Hello, my name is Finn. My specialty is back and neck. I do not do whole body massage, and at no time will you uncover yourself in front of me. He's wearing these oversized dark glasses, like a blind person. So I ask him about them. _I have a medical condition of sensitivity to sunlight._ He was very professional. And had a soothing voice. _Now the sheet will be between my hands and your body at all times_ , he tells me. _I do not use oil. If at any time my touch makes you uncomfortable or the pressure is too much, you must tell me at once._

Well? Her friend asks her.

Anna, I drank a litre of water afterward, I was so drained.

I know you, Tatanya, the ambassador says with arched eyebrows. So what is his life story?

I asked him where he studied. He said in Austria, and told me about this masseuse who was able to relieve the tension headaches of some Nazi commander. In return for doing so, he was able to save numerous Jews from the death chamber. Finn said Reader's Digest did an article on the man, and he tracked him down and learned his trade from him. It was the best massage I ever had. And he was the best masseuse. He was deferential and polite, and didn't attempt to be familiar, and wasn't curious about me, and only spoke when spoken to. I asked the concierge about him afterwards. He's new to Buenos Aires. British passport. He is exclusively available to members of our club on Thursdays, otherwise he's all booked up, as he has clients that fly in from all over the world to see him.

How much did it cost? someone asks.

For club members, it's the usual $100/hour plus tip. But get this, the concierge told me that his outside clients pay him $400/hour. The club gets half, but he gets free room and board, and a driver for his errands around town.

That would be my rate too, if I were to be a masseuse, says Pavel, using finger quotes. Everyone laughs.

Please? His wife asks him.

Anna, I'll need to have our head of security do a background check and an interview.

It'd be cheaper just to have him get a massage from the guy, the ambassador blurts out.

Do I seem like the kind of man who counts costs when it comes to the welfare of my family? Pavel asks rhetorically. And the others nod, duly impressed. His wife gives him a quick kiss.

But yes, I will have Yuri test him out. That is an excellent idea.

The ambassador nods proudly that the wealthy expatriate has taken his advice.

_**Several days later, Pavel is talking with his head of security...** _

So?

I'm going back to see him - he's that good. He didn't ask me any questions, and was extremely deferential. He wouldn't talk about his other clients, nor tell any stories.

The dark glasses?

They are not a camera. He took them off and handed them to me to inspect. And then said, _other clients have expressed a similar concern._ My associates inform me that his room is OCD clean. And he seems to be a divinity student, enrolled online at an American seminary.

Will he see clients at their homes or offices?

They must have someone vouch for them. _My reputation is all I have_ , he told me. And only for chair massage. And someone else must be present during the session. Payment in cash and send a car.

He was very impressive, Pavel. A true master of his trade for someone so young.

 ** _So Pavel and his wife decide to have the masseuse out to the house for a session.._.**

I've heard good things about your abilities. You must teach me, Pavel says, studying the quiet young man with the dark glasses.

One learns by doing. Please observe and feel free to ask any questions. A chair at the dining room table is usually what my clients find most comfortable. You may wish to put your hair up in a bun, madam.

Their daughter comes in and looks puzzled. Finndune? What are you doing here?

You know this man how? Her father asks her, glowering at the head of his security.

He's a magician. Like the best ever. He has a sold out show on Tuesday evenings at this little theater. One of the guys in my class took me there - on a date, she says mischievously, teasing her father. I was thinking of taking you guys as a surprise, but I couldn't get tickets.

I'm just an amateur; it's a hobby of mine, Finn tells the parents apologetically.

Mademoiselle, my training is as a masseur. I occasionally do house calls, which is why I am here.

Your aunt Tatty says that he's cured her migraines. But you know how your father is.

They're going to arrange a marriage for me, the daughter complains to Finn. My dad scares off all the guys who want to go out with me.

Who is this latest man? Have you talked to Yuri about him?

It was just a first date. And I don't want Yuri to intimidate him, she says as they all walk into the large formal dining room.

Yes, these chairs will serve the purpose. Finn turns one to the side, and gestures for Anna to be seated.

Are you comfortable, madam? The mother nods.

May I watch? the daughter asks.

I am without authority in his house.

Her dad nods at her.

Hey, sit down next to mom. He does so.

Are you comfortable, sir? She asks, aping Finn. And starts kneading his shoulders and neck, while Finn starts doing some pressure points on the mothers scalp, and the daughter sees her mom's shoulders slump, and stops to watch him.

Hey, Pavel complains. And she goes back to kneading her dad's neck.

Lighter, Alexa. Take it easy on your old man.

She looks over at Finn. You're short, she tells him. How old are you?

Mademoiselle, I'm here in your house as one of the help, and so it's not proper to address me as an equal in this context.

You have strange manners, and we don't wear sunglasses inside.

He has a medical condition, Alexa, her mother chides her.

It could be a camera. Let me see them. He closes his eyes and takes off his glasses and gives them to her. She puts them on.

Yeah, that's really dark. Not a camera. And looks at him for a little while before she gives them back. He's kind of cute without the glasses, she says grinning at Yuri, who has come in to watch.

Hey, Yuri - how much does he charge? I want to know so I can bill my father the same rate.

$400 for a visit.

No way!

He's that good, Alexa, trust me on this.

When are you going to start in on her neck?

The posture of her head will tell me when she is ready. I prefer to drape an old pillowcase over the neck, so I do not directly touch my client's skin.

Are you a germophope?

No, but if someone were to come upon us, it might appear to be too intimate, and also it can create a bond that would be inappropriate.

She continues kneading her dad's shoulders.

May I forgo the cloth, madam? Seeing as my competitor is well advanced in her efforts. Anna nods and smiles. Finn rubs his hands together to get them warm, and launches into the massage.

I'm getting relaxed just watching you massage her, Alexa says with a jealous sigh, and Finn grins.

My masseuse is doing a superb job, her father announces proudly. If she keeps this up, she's going to get a sizeable tip.

So Finndune? Where did that come from? Alexa asks him.

I drew my stage name from my homeland and my favorite sci-fi book, the one about the planet Arrakis. The spice turns their eyes deep blue, just like mine.

Yeah, I guess it was okay. We actually used that book for a case study in one of my political science classes. The spice was a stand-in for oil, and the religion was like Islam.

What would the mademoiselle have understood the desert and the sandworms to be? 

The desert, probably adversity and testing. Not sure about the sandworms. What's your take, o great Finndune?

Romance.

What?

They make the spice, remember? And they both laugh.

So what's your story, Finndune? How did you come to be in Buenos Aires?

Allow me tell you the story of the man I apprenticed under instead, as we are not social equals, Mdms. Now the Holy Scriptures teach that a good name is rather to be chosen than great riches...

Truly a man of noble character, Pavel comments afterwards. But consider his actions in the context of the big picture. Sure, he extended the pitiable lives of some suffering Jews, but one might posit that the clarity of mind and respite he provided the German officer allowed him to function with that much more teutonic efficiency than he otherwise would have. So how many more thousands died?

May I speak freely? Finn asks and Pavel nods.

The military application of the doctrine of the greater good is certainly valid. But it is often misappropriated to justify means to dubious political ends, most notably in the 20th Century by the Trotskites, and is now often used as a personal ethic by unscrupulous men: we do evil that good may come. I will murder, lie, cheat, and steal so that my family will have a better life than me. In the future, they will not need to dirty their hands as I have done. The most noble of them will think, my sins be upon my own head. For love of my family, I will go to hell. But the curse of God will follow that family, even to the fourth generation. And his labours are doomed to futility, because the wealth of the wicked is stored up for the righteous.

Everyone is silent.

How is the curse broken? Anna asks in a quiet voice.

God in His sovereign wisdom gives to each space for repentance and maturity. While there is life, there is hope.

Thank you, Finn, and she pats his hand. He steps back and folds his hands in front of him, and lowers his eyes.

May it please her ladyship to drink some water before she gets up. Yuri goes and gets a bottle of water, opens it, and sets it on the table for her.

That was amazing, Finn. You are truly gifted.

Her ladyship is too kind.

Alexa is fuming. You're just a masseuse who believes in fairy tales. I can see how your clients find your courtly and servile manners charming. But to think that you can judge my father. What do you know?

Finn is quiet for a while. Sir, if there is no further need of my services, then there is the matter of my fee. Yuri brings over an envelope.

Thank you for your patronage. And he turns to leave.

Finn, will you join us for dinner? Anna asks, as she gets up from her chair.

Thank you for the kind and generous offer, but it would seem that my slave morality is offensive to the mademoiselle.

Then I'll have to insist, so you two can get better acquainted, she says smiling at her daughter, who has her arms crossed and is scowling at Finn. It's rare we have a guest in our home, and we've never met a magician.

The amateurish Finndune has been known to make a glass of wine disappear. The parents chuckle.

I asked you a question. Alexa states.

Which I chose not to answer. Please allow me to introduce myself properly. I am Grigor Finnegan von Julin, but I go by Finn.

So where in Finland were you born, young man? Pavel asks, as they gather around the elegant winebar with its burlwood countertop.

St. Petersburg - it's a province, Finn says airily, and Pavel laughs heartily, and Anna smiles, as she hands him a glass of wine.

Do you speak Russian?

Yes. It was tradition for the men of my family to be in the Chevalier Guards.

So you come from nobility?

Yes.

What would your ancestors think of you being a masseuse? Alexa asks crossly.

They'd be appalled, and have had me poisoned. But you must understand, we lost all our holdings in the Revolution and the Grand Order of the Duchy of Finland ceased to exist. Most of the men in my family died in the Great War, and in the Civil War that followed. I am now the last male descendant of my line.

Your parents? her mother asks.

They rest in peace.

Your background? Her father asks.

I was adopted by a British family. Graduated Harrow, then matriculated at Cambridge, but university wasn't for me, and I enlisted in the Paras. Saw action in Afghanistan. And now travel for my health, and live hand to mouth.

Why don't you settle down? Alexa asks him.

I'm still fighting the war in my head; I haven't been able to let go.

My brother was Spetnaz.

Very few men are able to say that. Finn notes, impressed.

He's dead. Her parents are surprised to see Finn go up and give her a long hug, and her accept it.

Finn, another glass of wine?

Please.

So how old are you, Finn? Alexa asks.

I'm not going to get any taller, if that is what you really want to know. Everyone smiles at him.

Well?

I'd rather not own up to my age; my body seems stuck at twenty-two. Judging by my friend's experiences, I won't age until I get married. Her parents go into spasms laughing.

You just seem very mature, that's all. Alexa declares. I just turned twenty three. All my friends are shacking up with their boyfriends now that college is over, but I have to live with my parents as I go to grad school. 

It is as it should be. A father's duty is to make sure his daughter stays a maid until she is married.

You did not just say that; that is so old-fashioned.

That is how my mother and sister were raised.

Well, perhaps it's a good thing that you're legally blind, she says blushing, embarrassed by his earnestness.

My vision is perfect; the medical reason for my glasses is sensitivity to sunlight.

Would you take them off and let me see your eyes?

If we were to start courting, Mdms. Arapova, I could see that happening eventually.

Call me Alexa. I could see myself dating a magician, but not a masseuse.

The table is silent, and the parents look at each other, then everyone looks at him.

I understand your position. Please understand mine. I am content with my role as a healer. And I have made something of a name for myself...clients fly in from all over the world to see me. Some live with chronic pain and I'm able to help them with that. When I learned my trade, I gave my word that I wouldn't retire until I've taught someone else, which would take years.

She shrugs. It's a deal breaker.

Then my loss is someone else's gain. Please accept my best wishes for your health and happiness. Although you must understand, Alexa, I would never allow myself to become attached to a godless woman. Anna hides a smile behind her wineglass.

Yes, she would have to be ignorant and superstitious and submissive, Alexa counters. Her father nods at her in approval.

Why do you believe in fairy tales?

My great-grandfather saw the ark of Noah, in 1916. Is that not reason enough? Please permit me to tell you the story.

Grigor was born in 1894. He was a sickly child with a frail constitution, extremely shy, and was groomed for the priesthood. Of course, he wished to be an officer of the Chevalier Guards, like his father, his older brothers, and his uncles, but he was deemed unfit, and against his wishes, sent to a parochial school in Germany, where he was forced to learn that bestial language. Pavel chuckles silently. But my namesake was a reader, and dreamed of a life of adventure, not of the church. It was there he took up alpinism, and became quite adept, and the mountain air and outdoor exertions restored his health. When the Great War came, this shy young man returned home, hoping to serve his country. And he eventually commissioned as an officer in the Hussars, a wild and disorganized regiment out of the Caucasus. Now it was expected of a Cavalry officer that he lead his men unflinchingly into the face of cannon, as best sung by the "Charge of the Light Brigade". Do you know it? It was written in 1854, in a more heroic age. And he recites it earnestly, and with feeling. And Anna rubs his arm afterwards, and Pavel nods at him in approval, while Alexa stares at him.

Grigor was not of this way of thinking. He valued the lives of his men too much, and instead of charging through machine gun fire and artillery barrages, they rode to battle and fought as dismounted infantrymen. He was ahead of his time. Now his care for the men under his command was rewarded by their devotion to him. And he was soon noted as one of the most promising officers in the regiment, but one who refused promotions so that he could remain with his men.

Then a rearguard action, against orders, allowed the infantry unit to which his Horse were attached, to escape, even as his own troops were surrounded. But they were able to extricate themselves, and Grigor was awarded the 4th class Order of St. George for this action. Family legend has it that this medal was pinned on him by Duke Nicolas himself.

In the meantime, after three scorching hot summers on the Turkish front, a Russian warplane was flying at high altitudes around Mt. Ararat, and saw a dark mass sticking out of a glacier in a canyon, and flew closer to investigate. Obviously man-made, perhaps a secret military installation. He told his superior, who rode with him and took pictures. A top secret dispatch was sent to the Czar. Who was overjoyed, and saw this as a divine sign that would inspire his armies. It must be documented. And he was determined to put together an expedition: men of science, engineers, and officers of highest ability and character, from the first order of the nobility, of course. Grigor von Julin was one of the junior officers selected, because of his skills as an alpinist and his family connections.

Now by the summer of 1916, when this all took place, the war had stabilized, thanks to the innate ability of the Russian fighting man when under the worthy command of such talent as Brusilov in the west, who was counterpunching the Austrians, and Yudenich in the south, who had the Ottoman Turks on the defensive. But after the horrendous losses early in the war, the Czar had made a colossal blunder in assuming personal command. This allowed revolutionaries to blame the Czar directly for both the state of the war and the economy.

Mt. Ararat, in Armenia, is only accessible during the summer months, and the mountain remains shrouded in ice and snow above 14,000 feet year round. Sudden thunderstorms and avalanches are common. Enter the expeditionary party of 150 men. But it was late in the summer season, and the weather was changing. Planes could no longer fly that high because of storms. The decision had been made to have a base camp with a reserve party, and two parties of fifty men for each slope. One would take the easier dry southern route. And one would take the cold, icy and treacherous northern route. The southern expedition ran into a narrow valley infested with poisonous snakes. Many men died, before that attempt was abandoned. It was as if the will of God had decreed that they should not pass. The northern route was of great danger and difficulty, with men perishing almost daily in the ascent. And there were still thousands of feet to climb. An icy rain came, and made every surface a hazard, and the senior officers abandoned the quest, as they were afraid of the conscripts, who were turning mutinous, after the loss of so many lives and most of the provisions. Four men refused to turn back with the others, and continued on. With minimal alpinist gear, they toiled upward. Until they came upon the canyon. Cold, wet, and tired, they saw the ship. A third of it sticking out of a wall of ice, and a little glacial lake under it.

Somehow, they climbed above it, as dark thunderclouds gathered. And lowered themselves down on ropes, while being lashed by wind and sleet. They sought shelter inside. It became dark as night, and pitch black. They could not see one another, even though they were only feet away. They all joined arms and knelt down, and gave thanks to their Creator for allowing them to see with their own eyes the truth of His Holy Scriptures. And in that darkness, each man was given a vision. One saw the world that was before the Flood, with its gods and goddess worthy of Greek mythology, the building of the ark, the gathering of all the animals, and finally the Cataclysm. He passed out in horror. One glimpsed into the future, and saw the remnants of the two parties returning to base camp, bickering, drunk, and mutinous. Lenin getting his German gold. The ignoble peace treaty being signed. The Czar being shot and the royal family bayoneted. And blood in the rail stations, as those who could tried to flee from the Terror. And finally a red flag, hammer and sickle ascendant. He covered his eyes with his hands in dismay and wept. One saw the conquest of Canaan, and the light of battle in the faces of the Hebrew warriors, as they fought opposing armies without shields, just with sling, and sword, and spear – and lost not a man. And he stared unflinchingly into the chaos of battle, and grinned at the carnage. And Grigor also had a vision, of which I will hold my tongue, and was given a special ability. When he looked around, he was able to see his friends kneeling in the pitch black, and he arose, and told them that it was time to go. That he was able to see the way. And he led them off that holy mountain through darkness and snow. And the Ark disappeared above them as they descended, soon reclaimed by the ice, as that winter was one of the coldest on record. Four men climbed that mountain. And four mystics came down.

It's getting late. Thank you for the wine and the company.

You are a superb storyteller, Finn. The period detail, the quixotic quest, the open ending. Bravo, Pavel tells him with a grin.

What happened to your great grandfather, Finn?

What Pehr saw happened. And darkness descended upon Russia for seventy years. Grigor escaped to Finland, and made a life there. He is said to have perished in the winter war, fighting his hated enemies, the Soviets. Of the expedition, the godless Trotsky suppressed the truth, and erased all the evidence, and extinguished the memory of all the participants - or so he thought.

I'll give you a ride back, Finn.

I think not. But I will accept a goodbye hug, Alexa. She goes over and gives him one, and they smile at each other.

I'd be delighted if you all would come to my magic show next Tuesday; I'll have tickets sent over, if that is agreeable.

***

Pavel and Finn ride in the back seat of the car in silence; Yuri is driving.

You have excellent deportment. You may call on my daughter. They shake hands as Finn gets out at the club to go to his room.

See if he checks out, Yuri. Parents dead. Adoptive British family. Harrow, Cambridge, Paras, Afghanistan. Yuri nods.

A magician, he says chuckling to himself - wouldn't that be cool.

**_A week later, as the family drives home from dinner, after the magic show:_ **

Well? Do you approve?

He would be the perfect son-in-law. I expect your father is considering your dowry as we speak. Pavel raises his eyebrows and smiles at this comment.

You know how he wants you to marry a soldier, Anna continues.

Don't fall in love with him yet, Alexa. What he told us when we met checks out, but I'm going to have Yuri dig deeper.

Tell me what you find out, Alexa insists. 


	2. The Dossier

_Several weeks later, Pavel calls Alexa into his study..._

Read this, and tell me what you think, and he hands her a thick dossier.

***

Grigor Finnegan Von Julin. Bd. 23 April 1984.

Dual citizenship: British and Finnish.

Mother: Alfhild Lutsk. Finnish aide worker in Rhodesia. Died in childbirth.

Father: Gustav "Gus' von Julin. Served in the United States Marines, then joined the French Foreign Legion, killed in action, Serbia.

Adopted by the Touchett family of London. Sent to boarding schools all over the world. Multi-lingual. Finished at Harrow. Dropped out of Cambridge to enlist in Paras. Honorable discharge. FSB considers possible British intelligence asset.

Financial: Swiss bank account. No personal debt. No credit cards.

No criminal record.

No civil suits.

No medical history.

Impressions of associates.

_Harrow classmate_ : a nerd. Liked math. Always reading. No girlfriend.

_Cambridge roommate_ : a virulent anti-socialist. Often came to class drunk. Verbally abusive of history and economics professors. On and off again girlfriend – Elke Summer.

_Para Cpt_.: A warrior and leader of men. An asset to the Regiment. All his team members went on to SAS selection and passed with flying colors. Finn left to pursue his doctorate of divinity. I enjoyed our conversations. Man liked his Scotch.

_Para Sgt. Major_ : Stone killer. Deadly with any weapon. Fearless. No remorse, no emotion. He was a machine. Best soldier in the battalion, maybe in the regiment.

_Para Cpl_ (over beers): An evil dude. He scared me and all of the rest of us, who weren't on his fire team. After we got ambushed, and some of our mates got bloodied, he tortured and killed our interpreter. He knew the language, and took his place. And he and the guys from his fire team – they were so tight, them blokes, and went out and cleansed the valley after that. There was a big cover up. He and his mates went native. No body armor, foot patrolling the hills and drinking tea with the tribal elders. The officers let him do whatever he wanted because he got results. Yeah, we all made it back home, but I'm glad he's out of the Regiment – he's not cut out for a peacetime army. Don't tell him I talked to you(scared).

_Concierge_ (source: Tatanya): The staff loves him. We all thought he was strange at first, because of his glasses, and because he was so quiet and kept to himself. I cannot tell you who some of his clients are, but you'd be amazed. They all ask us how we got him. They fly over here just to see him. And yet I've seen him picking up trash on the grounds, and cleaning up after members. Once he even pitched in to bus tables at mealtime, when the servers were swamped. He's such a decent person. I think he gives away all the money he makes, at least that's what his driver tells us. And now that everyone knows that he's a magician – with the hottest show in BA, it's been crazy here. The boss is upset because he's not willing to work more than four hours a day. But she cannot push him around like she does everyone else.

_Personal trainer_ (source: Tatanya): Finn is different. It takes awhile to get used to those glasses. I offered to buy him a more stylish pair, but he says that it's important that others realize he's not wearing them as a fashion accessory, but for medical reasons. He doesn't talk much until he gets to know you. Then he's so much fun, and he has the best laugh of any guy I've met. We both workout early in the morning, before the morning rush arrives. No, not together. He's more into running, and only comes to the gym when it's raining out, and does mostly jumping rope and bodyweight stuff. He's in really good shape. All these rich people come to see him, so I figure he must know what he's doing, so I ask him if he'll give me a massage. How about a chair massage at the next employee meeting? And he brings along this old pillow case and drapes it over my neck, and does his thing, as the manager gives her spiel. And he and a couple others drag me away afterwards to the couch in the manager's office because I'm totally wiped out. Finn covered my clients that morning while I slept. He is such a cool guy. Of course I like him, but he already has a girlfriend. Yeah, she's pretty, but she's starting to pack on the pounds on her seat and thighs, I could tell because her pants are too tight, like she's refusing to go up a size. I told Finn that I'd train her, but he said he liked her just the way she is. And how do you see that conversation playing out, Raquelle? And we laughed so hard together.

_Manager(_ over drinks): He is so frustrating. I had an easy job until he came on board. Raquelle insisted that I give him a chance. You really don't know who she is? Miss Argentina? Anyway, she saw him waiting outside my office and asked if he needed help. I think she thought he was handicapped because of those awful glasses he wears. Call me cynical, but I can see her telling the story at the Miss Universe pageant of how inspiring the blind masseuse was, and how she grew as a person. So I made her check his references. And she looked shocked when she hung up the phone. Elke Summer uses him as her personal masseur. And your counterpart said he has a huge following. And that we should do whatever it takes to sign him and keep him happy.

So I call him back in. You know Elke Summer? I don't discuss my clients, he says. So we come to terms, or rather, I agree to his. He wants room and board, and only one day a week for club members, and only four hours a day. I have my own clientele, he tells me, but independent living with my condition is problematic. And Raquelle gave me this look, and I knew that I had to hire him, or she'd walk. And she is the face of our new spa and fitness center – we're more than just a golf and tennis club, you know.

Now that everyone knows that he's Finndune the Magician, and word of mouth has spread about how good he is as a masseuse, it's just been a nightmare for me. The owner called and yelled at me. One day a week? Four hours a day? What kind of business are you running? And hung up on me before I could explain the situation. You have no idea the pressure I'm under. Our members resent me, and think I'm trying to upsell them, when I offer to put them on the wait list for his Thursdays. But I want to see him right away; I've heard such amazing things. Finn has his own clientele that flies in from all over the world to see him. But he is exclusively available to members on Thursdays. We are honored to host him, and flattered that he considers our spa facilities the finest in BA. And they frown at me. How much do his outside clients pay? And I tell them. All right, book me, and then they leave in a huff. All the members hate me now. And the employees do too. I told him that he could name his hourly rate, just work more than four hours a day. He said that he was content with the current arrangement. And that leisure is the basis of culture. Don't you want to better yourself? Of course. Well? My mentor only worked two hours a day, and all the employees laughed so hard. And I threw up my hands in despair. When I'm working, I'm really working, he tells us. I'm not just going through the motions. I'm listening to their body, their breathing, their posture. If I worked more than four hours a day, I would burn out. As it is, I look forward to helping my clients and enjoy my role as a healer. And all the employees nod in agreement, and glare at me. It's so unfair. Why do I have to be the bad guy?

Then we find out that he's been moonlighting as a magician, and has the hottest show in BA when the paper does a write up on it. And we all pepper him with questions as he gives Raquelle a neck rub at a staff meeting. Why don't you do more than one show a week? It's just a hobby, he tells us. Why don't you go to a bigger venue? We ask him. It's actually harder to perform in front of a small crowd, and much more rewarding. How can we get tickets? The paper says that it's always sold out. I give half of them to the orphanage. Make a donation to them, and you can get as many seats as you want. And the employees told the members this, and now you still cannot get tickets, as the corporations have stepped in – those bastards.

So he finishes the massage, and Raquelle is wiped out. The lioness needs to rest, he tells us, and we all laugh. I'll cover her clients till noon. I'll give them a workout that they'll never forget. And he does. Now they all want Finndune to be their personal trainer, and you have to understand money isn't an object with these people, and you cannot tell them no. And Raquelle is so jealous of his Russian girlfriend, who he plays tennis with against her parents. It's like the set of a soap opera here now.

How do you motivate someone who doesn't care about money? His driver says that he gives all his cash away buying groceries for the poor. I really like him as a person. But he's got no ambition, even though he's so gifted.

_Muggers_ (hired for the occasion): He wasn't nervous or afraid. It was like he just went still. He said that he didn't carry cash when he jogged. So I told him to give me his glasses. Come and take them, he told us. He did a head check to see if anyone was looking, and he started toward us. It was like he didn't want any witnesses. Something wasn't right. We got out of there.

Dated and time-stamped pictures: Finn handling produce at the supermarket, wearing his dark glasses and baggy khaki shorts, a white polo shirt with the club logo on it. Finn sitting in the back of an empty cathedral during a weekday morning. Finn jogging, a water bottle in his hand. Finn reading a newspaper at a sidewalk café while drinking coffee. He's laughing at the comics.

Recent phone activity: Alexandra Arapov. Elke Summer. Overseas clients.

Recent internet activity: Calvin Theological Seminary coursework and studies, weather outlook.

Von Julin family history (compiled by archivist at University of Helsinki):

Swedish nobility who made the transition to the Grand Czarist order of the Duchy of Finland. Numerous family members served in the Chevalier Guards during peacetime, with wartime commissions to other units. Grigor von Julin, engineering student in Germany and alpinist, fought with distinction in Galicia with the Nezhin Hussars of the 16th Cavalry Division, then on the side of the Whites in the Russian Civil War. Known as "The Angel of Death" for his distinctive eyes. Wife unknown. Became a doctor in Sweden in the post war years. Returned to his homeland and died in combat in the Winter War of 1940. Only son Arkady von Julin. Awarded the "Hero of Finland" by President Mannerheim for the exploits of his ski grenadier battalion.

The von Julin estate is owned by a trust and is on the historical registry in Finland. Tour guide said that the men of the family are cursed. They have an eye condition that seems to be a dominant gene that passes down through the generations. But that isn't the curse. They all die in battle after having fathered a son. Arkady in Vietnam while serving in the French Foreign Legion. Julian in Israel. Gustav in Serbia. Finn comes back each year to celebrate Independence Day on the estate; he is a world traveler-the caretaker said. Is he rich? Man shakes head no. He works as a masseur. But he has very wealthy and influential patrons.

_Personal note_ : I like what I've seen and heard of him, but he's dangerous. I think he leads a secret life that we know nothing about, per the FSB assessment. He may be an infiltrator. An aside: the two men I hired to mug him were killed with their own switchblade, across town. And yet somehow I suspect he did it. Which is a really scary thought. I'd like to chaperone any dates he goes on with Alexa until I can get a better read on him. –Yuri 

***

Is this what you do with all the guys who go out with me? Pavel nods. You are my daughter, Alexandra. Your mother and I agree that girls should be raised differently than boys. What does she think of him now? She says that we don't need to spring a honey trap on him. If he prefers my chubby daughter to a beauty pageant winner, then he's safe. Pavel laughs at Alexa's expression, who then stomps out and slams the door.

I'm not hungry, she tells her parents at supper. Pavel and Anna burst out laughing. Eat Alexa, her mother tells her. Just drink more water, and have a glass before each meal – it'll reduce your appetite. And she smiles, and holds up her empty glass. Fine.

He wants me to go to church with him, she says eventually. I insisted that we be married in a church, her mother tells her. Pavel nods. I took a lot of grief for it at the time, but it made me stand out, and was one of the reasons I was chosen to go to the Aquarium.

Now that you've read his file, what do you think of him? Anna asks. Well, at least he's older than me. Shorter and younger wouldn't have worked. And he seems to have survived his tragic family legacy. I think Yuri's worried that I found a guy just like you, she tells her father, grinning. 


	3. The Breakup

**A week later: Dinner at restaurant after a magic show**

That was such an incredible show. Please do one more trick, Finn, for me. And he puts his napkin over the saltshaker, and slams the suddenly empty table. The waitress gasps in astonishment. Onlookers clap. And Alexa beams at him.

We need to talk, Alexa says. My dad had a background check done on you, and I've got questions. Shoot. What's the deal with you and Elke Summer? She's a dear friend. Nothing more. Want to talk to her? Of course - but not tonight. You're older than I thought you were. Do you have any children? No. Ever been married? No. Did you torture and kill that interpreter? He's silent, and she knows he's not going to answer. Are you a British spy? No. Did your father love your mother? Yes.

Do you have questions for me? How much do you weigh? 62 kilos. 

Why would you ask that? If you'd lie about anything, you'd lie about that. And she laughs. What did you study in college? Social work. Why? But they're interrupted by an incredibly good looking guy with long dark hair who comes up to their table, and squats beside Alexa. Are you still a maid? He asks softly. He's wearing sunglasses and a leather jacket. Kola! Finn shouts, and they embrace warmly. Good to see you again, Gri. I go by Finn now. Got it. Please join us. I'd like to introduce you to my girlfriend. You've got watchers north and south. Want them gone? Her father's people. They both sit down. Kola, I'd like you to meet Alexandra Arapova. He sniffs the air. You smell good. And you look even better. So are you still a maid? Yes, she says blushing. That's a shame; we could have had some fun together. But you're safe - for now. And she rolls her eyes. Dream on, player.

Really, Finn? You had to choose a Russian? And from the Arapov line? Cheka scum. Bovine peasants. He says with disgust. Alexa looks at him with mouth agape, and then over at Finn.

She doesn't know her family history, Kola. Her mother does, and seems contrite. Kola, Providence put Alexa in my path, and I find her to be spirited and intelligent, devoted to her parents, and of good character, and so I've formed an attachment. His friend says nothing, and just looks at her, frowning. Are you a godless woman? He asks eventually. Call me agnostic. I'm still searching. Get rid of her, Finn. You know better. I'll help. Do you know that he killed your brother? You're sick. Get help. And get gone. And they stare at each other with mutual loathing.

I wish to live a natural life, Kola. We would be happy together. And raise children to replace the loved ones we've lost.

Your brother was the fourth generation. The curse causeless will not come. He must have spared your father for your sake. But your brother - tell me, Finn, was he any good with a knife?

He should have been, as I trained his teachers.

Alexa, you see before you a man consumed with hate and vengeance.

Do you know what happened to his sister? How someone so sweet and innocent and beautiful...and he takes off his sunglasses and looks at her. His eyes are steel grey, and full of tears.

I know you loved her, Kola. Finn says softly. But she is at rest, in the hope of our blessed Lord. Kola puts his sunglasses back on and says nothing. It is time for you to take a wife and to put down the sword. Elke is crazy about you. She is a child, Kola snorts derisively. She is saving herself for you. Take her for a wife and raise up a name for yourself. Rescue her from the gulag of her mind, before she harms herself.

And Kola gets up abruptly and leaves.

Alexa. Four men came down from that holy mountain. You've now met two of them. And he takes off his glasses, and she sees that his eyes are the deepest blue. Goodbye, Alexandra Arapova.

***

What happened? Pavel asks Yuri. I think Finn broke up with her. Why? They were having a great time, and he did this magic trick where he covered the salt shaker with a napkin, and slammed it with his fist. And it vanished. It was incredible. I actually think he has occult powers. Pavel snorts. Then a handsome man approaches the table, and Finn gets up and hugs him like they are old friends. And he invites him to join them. His friend and Alexa didn't like each other. My people say that she was offended, and then got really angry. And then he took off the sunglasses that he was wearing, and looked at her. Pavel, there is something wrong with his eyes too. And one of my men said that the stranger's eyes were full of tears, and that they weren't human. And he's really shaken up, and wants to quit. Pavel makes a brief shooing away gesture, which Yuri takes to mean, so let him. Finn said something to his friend, and he got up and left. Then Finn took off his glasses and looked Alexa in the eyes and said something. The surveillance woman at the other table said that Finn's eyes are the deepest blue, and the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen. Then he got up and left the table, and approached me. I'm sorry, Yuri, I need to go. Please see that she gets home safely.

So I go up to the table and she's trembling violently. And then hugs me, and starts to cry. I brought her home immediately.

Anna comes up to the men. She won't talk to me. She only wants to talk to you, and Anna rolls her eyes and frowns. Pavel tries to suppress a grin. What happened, Yuri? I think Finn broke up with her, after one of his friends interrupted their dinner. Tell Anna about the surveillance, while I go talk to her.

He knocks on her door, and then comes in. She's cuddled up on the bed. He goes over and sits next to her. Daddy, what if the fairy tales are true? What happened? Finn said that four men came down from that holy mountain, and I'd just met two of them. And then he took off his glasses, and his eyes were the deepest blue I've ever seen. They weren't human. And then he said Goodbye, Alexandra Arapova.

Tell me everything, Pavel says sternly.

Grigor isn't his namesake, it's who he is. That is ridiculous. It's some magic trick. I'll have an explanation beaten out of him for frightening you, Pavel says menacingly. I don't want you to have anything to do with him, Alexa shudders.

His friend Kola said the most horrible things. That Arapovs were bovine peasant Cheka scum. And that Finn had killed my brother because he was the fourth generation, and the curse causeless will not come. Then he said that Finn must have let you live for my sake. And he asked Finn if my brother was any good with a knife. He should have been, seeing as I taught his teachers.

What did Finn say? Her father asks finally. That his friend was a man consumed with hate and vengeance. And then this Kola asked me if I knew why. If I knew what happened to Finn's sister – how someone so sweet, innocent, and beautiful – and he stopped talking and took off his glasses, and he had the cloudiest grey eyes I've ever seen, and they were full of tears of rage, and he isn't human either.

And Finn told him quietly that he knew that he loved his sister. But she is at peace, and rests now in the hope of our blessed Lord. And that he should put down his sword and take a wife, and raise up a name for himself. And he said that Elke was saving herself for him. And Kola snorted derisively, and said that she is just a child. And Finn told him that she was crazy about him, and that he had to save her from the gulag of her mind, before she harmed herself. And his friend got up and left just like that. He was movie star handsome and supremely self confident, and wore expensive clothes and designer sunglasses. When he came up to the table, he told Finn that we had watchers North and South, and asked if he wanted them gone. He would have killed them. I know that now, if Finn didn't stay his hand.

How did Finn behave toward you? He was really sweet, then he was quiet after his friend started going on. Was he afraid of this Kola? No, it was more like he was being patient and trying to help him. I've looked into his eyes, and I know that he wouldn't ever hurt me, or allow his friend to harm me. And he spoke well of me, after his friend said that Arapovs were scum. She doesn't know her family history. Her mother does, and seems contrite. And that I was spirited and intelligent, of good character, and devoted to my parents. And that Providence had brought us together. And that he had allowed himself to form an attachment to me. And that we would be happy together and raise children to replace the loved ones we lost, and I knew he was talking about my brother, and decided right there that he was the man for me.

His friend was very unhappy. And looked at me for a long time, and finally asked if I was a godless woman. I said I was an agnostic, and still searching. And he told Finn that he should know better. Get rid of her. Then he said, I'll help. And that's when he told me that Finn killed my brother. And Finn never denied it. I told his friend that he was sick, and that he should get help, and to get gone. And that's when that monster showed me his eyes.

What are you going to do? I do not know. From what you've told me, I believe that you and your mother are safe, regardless of what happens to me, thanks to the good impression that you've both made on Finn. You are my beloved daughter, Alexa. I will do whatever it takes to protect my family. Please don't hurt Finn. If our paths cross, he's a dead man - if he can be killed. But I won't seek him out, I promise you. And she gives him a hug. I love you, dad.

Anna and Yuri are waiting for him downstairs. And they see that his face is pale, and he stumbles coming down the stairs. My wife and my daughter have saved my life, and perhaps my eternal soul. I have promised Alexa that I would not seek Finn out. Come upstairs. You need to listen to her story, and tell me what I should do. I'm at a loss.


	4. The Swiss Alps

An entourage of girls fly down a ski hill, surrounded by cameras. Now let's get a shot in the chalet of you girls drinking the product, the director says. Elke racks her skis and then goes over to whisper to the director of the advertisement. He grins and nods. The camera films her tearing open two packets of product, and then filling them with boiling water from a thermos. She looks around the chalet. And then does the moonwalk in her ski boots, right up to a couple that is staring at her. And she gives them a cute sideways grin and offers them the hot chocolate. They grin back at her, and accept it. Thanks, Elke, the extras say. And she nods. And does the moonwalk back to the director, who is grinning at her as everyone applauds. That was sweet of you. But I don't know if the marketing executives will go for it though. The theme is creating moments, not giving warmth. Write that down, he tells his assistant. Might use that slogan in another venue. Now let's have you girls gather around the open fireplace, and just talk, while you're drinking the product.

So they do just that. Elke has her mismatched stocking feet propped up on the hearth, and starts teasing a friend about their ski instructor. I saw you checking him out earlier. You so did not. Did you girls see her checking him out? And they look at her and laugh. He's watching us. Look - over behind the director. And they all look over at him, then turn back to Elke. Heidi, get him to come over here, and talk to him, if you like him. Elke, we're filming, her friend whispers to her. So what? Who says you cannot mix business and pleasure. He's grinning at you. And her friend does a quick head check. He was so not. Well, he will be. And all the girls laugh. Elke takes another sip, and stares at the ski instructor from behind her mug. And beckons him to come here, with a finger. All the girls are looking at her with mouths gaped open and then look over at him. He points at himself, and she takes another sip, and nods and lowers her mug so he can see her smile. Cut. The director yells exuberantly. We've got it! And everyone cheers, and the ski instructor comes over to her. Was that for real, or were you acting? Of course it's for real, I'm not an actress - I'm a model. Sit, she commands, and pats a spot next to her. Now my friends and I want to know all about you. Especially her, she's been checking you out. Her name is Heidi. What's yours? Bjorn. That is such a rugged, masculine name. How did you get to be so good at skiing, Bjorn? He shrugs, I just am. Whatever, Elke tells him, and rolls her eyes. Have you tried this brew? It's actually really good - if you water it down, she whispers to him confidentially. And he laughs. Have a sip, and she offers him her mug. Girls, get over here. I want a picture of us for my scrapbook. And an obliging photographer takes several. Give me your address, and I'll see that you get one, she tells him. You made this shoot work. It's the least I can do. Do you want my phone number too? he asks shyly. And she grins back at him. I'd call you in a heartbeat, if I wasn't involved. Give it to Heidi, and if I break up with my man, then I'll steal you away from her. You're really cool, Elke. She winks at him. Now write it down before you get lost in her smiles.

Later on, she gets a massage in her room at the lodge. Finn, that feels amazing. So tell me about Buenos Aires. The teapot on the stove starts to whistle and Finn goes over to the counter and pulls out two bags. Want some to cleanse all that hot chocolate? Just a glass of water, please, Finn. I love getting paid to have fun and be myself. Make any friends? I tried, but they're all slutty, and just wanted to go to the club and grind on some guys and get wasted. So I got a headache, and had to send for my masseur.

You met someone, Elke says suddenly. You're different. Sit, while I interrogate you. And she starts giving him a neck rub. Who is she? It doesn't matter anymore. Kola interfered. How is he? He actually had tears in his eyes as he told Alexa about my sister. I told him that you were saving yourself for him, and that he ought to take you for a wife and raise up a name for himself. And? He just up and left. She sighs. That means he's thinking about it, anyway. Thank you, Finn.

So Alexa? She's an Arapov. Yeah, I know, but I thought it was Providence bringing us together. Is she pretty? He nods. Is she taller than you? He nods. A lot taller? By two or three inches, with her shoes on, me in sandals. Does she have a great rack? Elke, he says sternly. How about her derriere? He sighs. Heart-shaped, and since it's you asking, yes to the former. Elke shrieks in laughter. Finn! I've never heard you talk that way before. He grins. So when do I get to meet her? Kola told her that I killed her brother. Oh. Why would he do that? She declared herself to be an agnostic. I see. Well, hate to tell you this Finn, but he's right. Tough love. But I'd still like to meet her. It might not be safe, Elke. I expect that she's told her father, and he's positioning his assets to move against me. She knows about you, and her father might use you for leverage. Relax Finn, you're so tense. Take three deep breaths. Now, did you let her see your eyes? Right before I said goodbye. Then she'll find me. She's in grad school and lives at home with her parents. Fine, then I'll find some pretext to trek down to BA so we can meet. Her father will want answers, seeing as you are the common link between Kola and myself. Maybe I'll introduce myself, and preempt him.

Where are you heading next? Las Vegas. Time for the Great Finndune to start performing on a bigger stage. What have you got planned, liebchen? I could use an assistant. I've got an idea about how I can win her back. 


	5. The Illusionist

**The Luxor - Las Vegas, Nevada**

Introducing, the great, the one and only, Finndune. The curtain pulls back, and the audience sees the set of a small college dorm room. There's an Elke Summer poster on the wall. A very nerdy Finn bursts in through the door, and reverently walks up to the picture and kisses it. Some of the audience cheer in approval. His roommate walks in, and sees him gazing adoringly at the poster. Dude, you live in a dream world. There is no way that a guy like you and Elke Summer... You know what, and he takes the poster and rips it to pieces. Tough love. I'm doing you a favor, buddy. And leaves the room. FinnDune collapses to the floor, and weeps as he tries to put the pieces back together. Slowly at first, but he closes his eyes, and his hands begin to whirl so fast that the pieces congeal and a poster begins to rise off the floor. And floats back toward the wall. But then he sinks back in despair and the pieces fall back on the floor. The audience claps with amazement. The lights dim. When they come back on again, Finn comes back into his dorm room once more, and kisses a taped up poster of Elke Summer. And glares at his roommates desk and bunkbed with his fists clenched. Some in the audience laugh hysterically at this futile gesture. Then Finn gets into the pushup position, and lowers himself to the floor, and starts struggling to get up, every pore strained, red faced with effort. And his body starts to levitate. And the audience gasps as he is still struggling mightily, but then he gives up, and lands hard. And he's crying into his hands, and wiping blood from his nose. And he turns over and starts doing some sit-ups. When his roommate walks in, and sees the poster back up on the wall. Dude, get a life. You're pathetic. And crumples it up and throws it on the floor. Finn scrambles over to it, and starts to uncrumple it, but he gives up and crumples it back up and throws it over his shoulder at the audience, where it turns into a dove. And the audience gasps with wonder. And clap furiously as the lights dim.

The lights dawn to show Finn in his dorm room, working furiously putting together a motherboard on a computer. Tools appearing in his hands out of thin air, then disappearing just as quick. That night, Finn is typing on his laptop, what he's writing is projected on the big screen on the wall.

My roommate is so mean. I wish he'd disappear. He presses enter and the audience gasps, as immediately, he's gone from his bunkbed.

I wish Elke Summer was my roommate. And then I'd have someone to talk to who understands me, and we'd be best friends. And he presses enter, and the audience gasps as blonde hair appears on the pillow, and a figure appears sleeping in the other bunk. And the lights dim, and the audience applauds furiously.

Finn, did you see where I left my curler? And he shreeks at the clay masked figure looking up at him. Oh, sorry, Finn. I forgot how awful I look. And she starts wiping off the clay mask that she's wearing. Hey, how did you do on that quantum mechanics project you were working on? He's laying back in his bed, hands gripping the sheet, staring at the ceiling in pure shock. You are such a genius, she says with a sigh, and gives the audience a woe is me look. Then she perks up. Hey, can I borrow your laptop? He remains frozen. And she takes it. And the audience sees her type in, he never looks at me. I wish he'd notice me. I'd give anything for him to kiss me and to be his girlfriend. And presses enter. And flash, and Elke and Finn are gone. The light dims. When it comes back on, the poster is back on the wall. Finn walks in and kisses the poster. And starts doing handstand pushups. Until there's a knock on the door. Hello, boyfriend. Are you decent? Come in, Elke. And Finn does a kip up from the floor, and they hold hands and bow to the audience. And the audience gives them a standing ovation, and Pavel's head of security is clapping in amazement.

**Back in Buenos Aires**

It was the best magic show I've ever seen, Alexa. He didn't do many tricks, but it was the story that made it work. Everyone got what he was trying to say. And the reveal was such a shock. Everyone left smiling and happy. It was sold out the second night. And the third night it was just crazy outside, as word had spread about it.

Did he kiss her? No. But you can see that they're close. Was he wearing glasses? Nerd glasses. They weren't colored. And you didn't notice his eyes? Nothing to notice. What about Elke Summer, what was she like? So gorgeous and really sweet. And get this, Alexa, she was wearing a Boca Juniors jersey over her blue jeans. He must have given it to her.

Did you talk to him? He returned my note. And he hands her it.

_Yuri, thank you for coming to see my show. I must decline your invitation. With regret, FD._

Later that night at the dinner table: Dad, you promised me that you wouldn't go after Finn. I'm just taking precautions, Alexa, and gathering intelligence. I want to know what I'm dealing with. What was your impression? Anna asks her daughter. Does he actually have magical powers? I don't think so. Just think how good you'd get if you had a century to practice something. That is my thought too, Alexa, her father says nodding.

**A week later**...

What do you mean he's disappeared? Pavel yells at Yuri. For the money you have at your disposal, anyone can be found. The magic show closed after the third night of its second week. It was crazy that last night. There were fights in the street, and scalpers were selling tickets for $1,000 each, because of all the Hollywood and sports celebrities that were attending the shows.

My source at the casino said that the boss handed a blank check to Finn, who was very gracious and said that money wasn't the issue, and that he was being paid far too much for his services. Rather it was his dear friend Elke leaving. She just lent her fame to create an interest in the act. But she's leaving to go to a soccer tournament tomorrow. She's been so excited about it all week; you've seen her on stage with her jersey, already cheering on her team.

I cannot perform magic without inspiration; Elke is irreplaceable. But I thank you for the opportunity, and hope that we will be able to do another show in the future, as her schedule permits.

But the suit is persistent. Elke is sweet and lovely, but her role could be played by any celebrity girl. You can have any assistant you want. Really? And then Finn takes the blank check, and writes "Alexandra Arapov" of Buenos Aires, Argentina. Who is this? She inspired me when I was down there. Get her to come, and I'll be happy to continue the show. Do you have her phone number? I do.

The cell phone rings, and then skips to voicemail as she presses ignore. There is no greeting, just a beep. Alexandra, this is Steve Wynn. I'd like to offer you an extremely lucrative job as the assistant of Finndune the Magician. You, your family, your friends – you're all flying up to Las Vegas this weekend on my private jet. All expenses paid. We need to talk. And he hangs up.

Elke is going down there. Why don't you pay her expenses and see if she'll pitch her? Why didn't you say that in the first place? What's her number? 


	6. La Bombonera

Elke Summer is in the stands, wearing her Boca Juniors jersey, and cheering enthusiastically along with a sellout crowd. The goalie makes an incredible save. And Elke makes a dreamy gesture, and says something to her new friends from the modeling agency shoot, and they all laugh.

The next day, the newspapers carry her picture on the front page. Elke cheers on her favorite team. 'She has such a crush on their goalkeeper', one of her companions admitted.

Pavel hands the folded newspaper to his wife. Elke Summer is here in Buenos Aires, he notes. A coincidence? I think not. So what should I do? You have contacts with the police. Find out what hotel she is staying at and invite her over. I don't see what is so special about her. She's just a spoiled rich heiress who became a model, Alexa notes sourly, as she looks at the paper.

The Arapov family has almost finished eating supper together, when Yuri comes up and whispers in Pavel's ear, and then goes over to stand in the hallway. Elke Summer is at the gate. And wishes to see you, he tells Alexa. Shall I have her join us?

The family is in the dining room, Miss Summer. Yuri tells her, as he opens the door. Please follow me. Talk to me for a minute, Yuri. And call me Elke. Now Finn told me all about you; he says that you're like a surrogate father to Alexa. Does she love him? Yuri doesn't answer. Why didn't he want to meet with me when I was in Vegas? You were in Vegas? I saw your magic show; it was incredible. Thank you, Yuri. How is Finn doing? he asks her, as they walk down the hall. He's gone. But we both know that he's coming back here sooner or later, and she grins at him.

Miss Summer, Pavel exclaims. I was just reading that you were in town to cheer on the Bocas, and here you are. We were just starting dinner. Will you join us? I'm Pavel Arapov. This is my wife Anna, and my daughter Alexandra. Hey, ya'll. Just call me Elke. And yes, I'm famished. It would seem a certain soccer player is clueless, and won't ask a girl out for dinner. And she rolls her eyes, and everyone laughs.

So I had to come here to meet you, she says to Alexa. And gives her a big grin. Then attacks the food on her plate. Mmmm. This is so good. And to have your chef meet me at the door. Pavel breaks out laughing. So Elke, how do you like BA? Anna asks. I love what I've seen of it. And your soccer stadium is AWESOME. But I want someone to show me around, and she grins and looks pointedly at Alexa, who is barely touching her food. I'll be happy to show you around, Anna says. Only if you come with me to the next soccer game. I want to see the battle that breaks out as all the guys fight to see who can invite you to dinner first. I'll be so covered with the roses that they'll throw up at you, that I won't even be able to see the game. And Anna and Pavel laugh and grin at her. I like you, Elke, Anna declares. Well, I'm not going to like you if you steal that dreamy goalkeeper away from me. And Alexa's parents burst out laughing again. And Elke goes back to grinning shamelessly at Alexa. Who abruptly gets up from the table. I don't want anything to do with him, and you know why. And walks away.

How is Finn? Anna asks. I don't think he's ever fallen in love before. He's so homely and short, that it would take a special girl to really see him. Is he immortal? Pavel asks seriously. No, just blessed. You could have him killed, I suppose, if that's what you really want to know. But I don't think someone would allow it, and she points at Alexa's empty chair. He's not a superhero. He bleeds, feels pain, suffers hunger and thirst, fatigue, and of course, LONGING, she trills in a singsong voice. Elke, what do you hope to accomplish by coming here? I'm here to fix what Kola tried to wreck. I know you have questions; I'll try to answer them and ease your mind.

All right, Pavel says. How did you come to know Finn? My grandfather came down off that mountain. He was one of the four. No, my father didn't inherit anything, neither did I, other than my grandmother's looks, and she grins at them. And they glance at each other quickly, amused. What happened once your grandfather married? He aged naturally and eventually died. How? There is a long pause as Elke studies him. I don't think I like you, Elke says abruptly. You're a plotter. I made a mistake in coming here. And she looks down at the table. I'm so stupid, she says, and starts to choke up.

Elke, you aren't stupid, Anna says. And neither is my husband. If something supernatural threatened your family, wouldn't you want to be prepared to respond? Elke nods, her head still down. Elke, I'll refrain from asking any further questions, Pavel tells her. And I've promised my daughter that I wouldn't go after Finn. What questions do you have for her, dear? Finn's friend Kola threatened our daughter, and implied that she was only safe because she was still a virgin. What did he mean? Elke keeps her head down. Finn didn't tell me that part, she says quietly. Kola saw the conquest of Canaan in his vision. Genocide. And the warriors would slaughter any woman who wasn't a maid, even pregnant women, and those with small children. But they were allowed to take wives for themselves from among the fairest of the captives. It was a barbaric thing to say. I can only hope that he meant it as a compliment. And she looks up at them with tears in her eyes. I'm twenty three too, and I've been waiting for such a long time for Kola to propose to me. When I was sixteen, I told him that I loved him, and that I was going to marry him. And he's avoided me ever since. I only became a model to get his attention; I'm so tired of it. And it's not that he cannot find me, it's that he won't. And I'm losing hope that he'll...and she bursts into tears. Anna gets up and goes over and gives her a hug, and whispers to her. It'll be alright, Elke. It'll work out. He'll see you again, and he'll be yours. And Elke gives her a fierce hug. Thank you for saying that; I needed to hear it. And she wipes the tears from her eyes and squeezes Anna's hands.

Elke, what is Finn going to do about Alexa? Anna asks, as she sits down on the other side of her. He was setting a plan in motion for her to come to Las Vegas and replace me as his assistant in his magic show. But early one morning he came to my room and told me that he had just had a vision, and that his prayers had been answered. He saw glaciers, polar ice flows, and open water. And said that he must hurry. That the storms are coming. And I asked him if I should still come down here. And he said that he might not make it back from where he was going, that he only saw the way there. But that I'd be safe if I stayed here while he was away.

And you are, Pavel says solemnly. And Elke gives him a shy smile. Thank you. Did he give you a message for us? She shakes her head no, and looks down at the table. For Alexa? And she nods, still looking down. I can only tell her if he doesn't come back by the time Antarctic Sea is frozen solid.

Alexa gets up from the hallway where she has been listening in, out of sight, and comes back to the table and sits down, and looks seriously at Elke, who smiles at her. Ask me anything, Alexandra...


	7. The Proposal

Yuri comes up, his face pale. And whispers in Pavel's ear. Let him in. Do not raise your hand against him. Kola, he tells the table. And Elke's face lights up with delight and she beams at Anna, who smiles back at her. And she teases her hair, and pinches her cheeks, and puts on some lip balm, and smacks her lips several times. Alexa watches in amazement. Like you haven't done it, Elke tells her as she stands up, and puts her hands on top of the back of her chair.

Soon afterwards, Kola comes in, sunglasses on, immaculately dressed in a black rayon shirt and grey dress pants. He stops and looks around the dining room, and runs a hand through his long hair. Kola! Elke yells and rushes up and gives him a big hug and a kiss. And takes his hand and leads him up to the table. I heard you were rude to my future sister. I'd like you to apologize to her. Me apologize to an Arapov? Do you know what happened to my fiancé, you silly girl? And Elke whirls on him and slaps him. You will respect me. He looks at her, and gestures for her to sit down, and helps seat her.

So little Elke is trying to reconcile Finn and Alexandra, he announces as he kneads Elke's shoulders. Let me guess your thoughts, he tells Alexa. I won't have him. He says dramatically, in a tear filled ladylike tone. Nothing could induce me to marry the man who killed my brother. But dear diary, I love him so. But my father will have him killed if he shows his face here. And my mother will never speak to me again if I tell her how I feel. What to do? Maybe if I go to a soccer game with Elke, she'll introduce me to the guys on the team. And that will make him so jealous...

And Alexa starts crying into her hands, and Kola steps back as Elke gets up abruptly and goes over to kneel beside her, and takes her hand, and whispers into her ear.

Perhaps you'll join us for a glass of wine in the living room, and you'll tell us the reason for your visit, Pavel tells Kola. Who nods absently as he watches Elke and Alexa intently. Elke looks over at him. Fix this, Kola. This is your fault. You shouldn't have interfered. He shrugs noncommittally. 

Anna opens a bottle of wine, and pours several glasses. And hands one warily to Kola. Who nods at her. And then looks between her and her daughter, who is sitting on the couch, as far away from him as she can get, and Elke has her arm around her. Well? Pavel asks. An excellent vintage, he says raising his glass. You've married well, Arapovich. And he studies Alexa, who will not meet his gaze, and sits with her head down.

How did my brother die? Alexa eventually asks in a quiet voice.

Finn was working as an FSB colonel in mother Russia in 2004, and was patiently waiting for his opportunity to strike your son dead. After a night of drunken debauchery, your son woke up in a holding cell of the town jail. Ya Spetsnaz, he'd bray over and over again. And he was pleasantly surprised to see a diminutive FSB officer speak to the guards, and he was freed. I apologize for that. Allow me to buy you breakfast; this country needs men of your ability, and my organization could use a man of your skills. When does your enlistment come up? And they had a frank conversation over coffee that sobered your son up. Dangerous assignments, world travel, and a nationalist vision for a revived Russia. Your son was excited; he would follow in his father's footsteps. You've met Finn, and only have an inkling of how charismatic he can be. I will make this happen, your future is bright, but I need your advice. A great wrong was done to my family many years ago. And Finn tells him the story of his sister, and of what happened to her, so long ago. And your son is outraged. Let us wipe them off the face of the earth. Why do you wait? The men of my family have killed off each firstborn son. Now it is my turn, to bury the curse. Then he pulls out a cross from around his neck, under his shirt, and kisses it. But this prevents me from striking without warning, as his eternal soul is in peril of hellfire. I must give him an opportunity to express contrition for what his ancestor did, lest the curse come upon me. And your son scoffs at this. So this is the price of my admission? And Finn nods and draws a knife and sticks it hard in the table. Do not draw it until you have heard the name of the man, and consider well what you are about to undertake. Tell me the name. And Finn takes off his dark glasses and looks him in the eyes. And tells him.

And your brother made his choice. He boasted in the deed of his ancestor. And he now burns in eternal hellfire. And the Arapov line has ended.

He pours himself another glass of wine. What? Did you think I was going to give you the same challenge? In front of your wife and daughter and little Elke? And then Kola offers to pour the rest of the bottle in Pavel's wineglass. And does so.

Why did Finn wait so long before coming after me? Pavel finally asks. He hates the Mohammedans as much as he hated the Soviets. And so he couldn't pass up the fight he saw coming in Afghanistan.

So when his tour with the British Army was over, he comes down here to kill you. But your wife saves your life. And something about your daughter appeals to him. And he sees the hand of Providence. He will marry the daughter of his hated enemy and end the blood feud by uniting the two families. And go on to live a natural life, and sleep with his fathers. But then as little Elke puts it, I intervene. I will not allow my friend to marry a godless woman.

Stop calling me little Elke. I'm a grown woman, and you are the only man on this continent who doesn't seem to know it. Look at me, Kola. I'm twenty three now. The bloom will be off the rose soon. I've been waiting for you. Please take me while I'm still young and beautiful, and let me ravish you with my love.

Du bist noch ein Kind. Halt dein mund. He commands coldly in German.

But I've given it long thought. This is indeed the hand of Providence. The apple of your eye is your daughter. I will take her for my wife. I am the handsomest man in any room, and she will be envied of all women. I am of the highest nobility, and my wealth and estates are vast. She would want for nothing. She will teach me to be human again, as your wife has taught you. And in the fullness of time, I will come to love her, and seek to please her. We will live on the old family estates in Russia, and our sons will be mighty in the land. The steel grey will go out of my eyes and into my hair. And we will grow old together. And return to the dust from whence we came, until the resurrection of the dead, and the life everlasting.

And he takes off his glasses, and puts them on the table, and glares at her father. Do I have your blessing, Pavel Arapovich?

Elke is gasping with sobs. And Alexa hugs her, and tells her in a quiet tone that all can hear: the Holy Scriptures teach that one should leave the presence of a fool. And then leads her away.

Admit it, Arapov. I've just given voice to the desire of your heart. Who says nothing, and looks at his wife. She holds his hand, and they look at each other and ignore him. He looks at them for awhile, then puts his sunglasses back on and leaves.

He's a monster, Anna tells Elke a little while later. You're well to be rid of him. And that was the most beautiful confession of love I have ever heard. And I couldn't believe it when you slapped him. I was so proud of you. Why wouldn't he say those words to me? she sobs.

Pavel knocks on the door. He sees Elke lying curled up on the bed, with her head in his daughter's lap, as she strokes her blond hair. His wife is seated on the edge of the bed, and is rubbing her back.

I'd like to speak to you all.

Elke, I thank you for coming. You may stay here as long as you wish, and come and go as you please. I only ask that you take our daughter with you when you leave Buenos Aires. I can no longer protect her, but I feel that she would be safe in your company.

Alexa, you are the apple of my eye. And I'm so proud of you for the way you rebuked that devil. You are a grown woman now. As I can no longer protect you, you are free of my authority, and may do as you like, and do not need to ask my consent. You may always count on our financial support until you are married. Please kiss your father goodbye before you leave home. And he closes the door softly behind him. 


	8. Lissie

Kola knocks on Elke’s hotel room door late that night. Elke, it’s Kola. Look, I’m sorry. We need to talk. <Silence>. He pulls a magnetic card reader out of his jacket, and opens the door with the illicit device. Little Elke, it’s KolaBear, he says in a teasing voice. Elke, I know you’re in here, don’t make me come into your bedroom. <Silence>. And he strides into her bedroom, and sees an empty bottle of pills on the floor, and her limp hand dangling off the bed. 

The bedside phone rings at the Arapov mansion. Pavel hears a voice sobbing into the phone. He’s instantly awake. Yuri, what’s wrong? It’s Elke. She’s tried to kill herself. 

Reporters are gathered at the hospital the next morning. The lead doctor looks somber and the others stricken with grief. Elke is in a coma and on life support. She took a bottle of sleeping pills. We pumped her stomach, but it was too late. Her brain function is gone. She is for all intents and purposes, a vegetable. The hospital has been in touch with her attorney for guidance, and he will be making a statement shortly.

Is it true that there was a suicide note found at the scene? 

_Alexandra Arapov_

_The Pastures, BA_

_Dearest Alexa,_

_I’m going to sleep soon. When I wake up, we’ll all be together again: you, me, Kola, and Finn. And there will be no more tears and heartache. Just rejoicing._

_I’ve always loved Kola. There has never been anyone else. Ever. Nor will there be. At my sixteenth birthday party, he asked me what I wanted as my present. An engagement ring. And he left abruptly without saying a word, and disappeared. Finn helped me cope. And I decided to become a model, and wait for him to find me when he was ready._

_And I’ve waited seven years only to see him tonight at your parent’s house. And you saw me throw myself at him. Only to have him reject me again. I cannot bear it._

_I’m sure you’re familiar with the “Lady or Tiger” story, and its open ending: what is behind the door on the right? You are. I now know why Finn is in love with you. And I don’t blame Kola for wanting you instead of me. I love you, Alexa. Thank you for trying to comfort me. If Finn were around, I know that we’d have ended up being best friends and sisters. I need him so much right now. But I’m pretty sure that he’s gone off to Antarctica to die alone, and the only vision he saw was life without you._

_My eyes are getting heavy. I want to be buried in my wedding dress. I couldn’t stay, Alexa. Please forgive me. –Elke_

**The Arapov Mansion**

Two detectives ring the bell. Yuri lets them in and brings them to where the family and their attorney are waiting. Thank you for agreeing to see us, lead detective says. This meeting is for informational purposes only, their attorney insists. My clients are not giving an official statement. And we expect that there will be a give and take, as my clients have questions they wish answered.

Who found her, and how? An Estonian diplomat, Ivan Kolanich. His actions saved her life, or at least prolonged it. He called the ambulance, and gave them the name of the sleeping drug. They brought activated charcoal to neutralize the drug, but it was too late. What was his reaction? He was all business. Immaculately dressed in a suit and wearing sunglasses. His statement was brief, and corroborated by her suicide letter. He said that their mutual friend, Grigor Finnegan von Julin, asked him to look in on her from time to time. And that he had followed her to your mansion earlier that evening, and words were said that gave him cause for regret. And that he had decided to stop by her hotel room and apologize. No one answered the door, and he opened it with an illicit device, and found her in a wedding dress passed out on the bed, with an empty bottle of prescription pills on the floor, and he immediately called for an ambulance. 

Are you pressing charges against him? The lead detective shakes his head no. He has diplomatic immunity, and gave us the name of her attorney in Geneva, who confirmed that he was a trusted family friend. And he gave us your name, and said that you would verify her whereabouts that evening, and that your family was to blame, having sent Elke back to her hotel while she was distraught. Pavel and Yuri give each other a look. Where is he staying? Yuri asks in a frigid tone. He has a suite at the Four Seasons, but said that it is likely that he will be recalled home for instructions, and that we should contact his embassy if we needed to get in touch with him again. We think that he is a spy like James Bond. 

Was Elke assaulted or molested in any way? Anna asks. The detective shakes his head no. This is a clear cut suicide attempt. She left a letter for your daughter explaining her reasons for taking her life. 

And one of the detectives hands them a plastic evidence bag containing the letter. Pavel and Anna read it in silence, and then hand it over to Yuri and their attorney to read. 

Is your daughter available to answer questions? Pavel shakes his head no. She’s been sedated; she was extremely agitated when she heard the news, and blames herself for not going back with Elke to her hotel and staying with her. 

What happened? Yesterday, we were eating dinner, when Elke shows up unannounced. We’d just read in the paper that she was in town to cheer on her soccer team. And of course, we’re delighted to meet her and invite her to join us, which she does. We really enjoyed her company. She was such a sweet and lovely girl with a winsome manner. Why did she come? Her friend Finn is our daughter’s ex-boyfriend. She wanted to reconcile them. Why did they break up? Finn left to go to Las Vegas a month ago, Anna says, avoiding the question. 

An acquaintance of Elke showed up soon thereafter. He said his name was Kola, and this man was known to Elke and our daughter as a friend of Finn. Elke was obviously very attached to him, and become despondent when he cruelly rejected her, and then immediately proposed to our daughter right in front of her. The detectives are shocked.

How did your daughter treat his proposal? She didn’t dignify it with a response, and took Elke up to her room, and held her while she cried herself out. What did this man do then? He asked for my blessing to marry my daughter, Pavel says, and left when I would not give it. He’s obviously delusional and unhinged. It doesn’t surprise me that he would blame us. If Elke dies, he is a dead man. My client is using hyperbole to express his grief, the attorney states quickly. The cops nod in understanding. 

What happened then? Elke took a nap, and when she woke, she wished to be taken back to her hotel. She hugged and kissed each of us goodbye and said that she’d see us all again soon. Anna says, and then breaks down into tears. She must have already resolved to end her life. Yuri drove her. What was the drive like? She rode up in front next to me and held my hand. Elke told me that Kola was determined to marry Alexa. And that it all made sense now, why Finn left to go to Antarctica. That Finn wouldn’t be coming back. And that his vision of glaciers and polar ice flows was a metaphor for a life without Alexa, but that she was too stupid to see it at the time.

**Press Interview, Geneva law office of Gunter Mannerheim**

The firm is making every effort to locate Grigor Finnegan von Julin, also known by his stage name as Finndune the magician. He has her durable power of attorney, both legal and medical. Let me categorically assure you that they were never romantically involved. He was her dearest friend. 

Now you’ve all heard Alexandra Arapov’s statement, after she released Elke’s suicide letter to the public.

<flashback>

_Ivan Kolanich. That’s the name of the monster who drove Elke to kill herself. I’ve hated him ever since I met him. He’s a total player, and somehow duped Elke into falling in love with him so long ago._

_I was having dinner with my boyfriend, Finn, about a month ago when this guy comes up to our table and starts hitting on me. Finn was so delighted to see him, and I so thought his friend was joking, as he continued flirting with me as he sat down. He’s a complete self-absorbed jerk. I don’t know what Elke or Finn ever saw in him. He joined us but obviously didn’t approve of me, so Finn broke up with me right after he left our table, and then moved to Las Vegas, where he and Elke had their magic show._

_This monster must have been stalking Elke, and followed her to our place that evening. Elke was so delighted when she heard he was at the gate. So we invited him in. And she teases her hair, and puts on some lip balm and pinches her cheeks. Like you haven’t done it, she tells me with a knowing smile. And she stands behind her chair to wait for him, like he’s royalty. And he comes into the dining room. He’s so vain, and runs a hand through his long hair, and he’s wearing sunglasses inside our house. And she shrieks, Kola, and rushes over to him, and gives him a big hug and then kisses him, but he doesn’t kiss her back. She takes his hand and leads him up to me. I heard you were rude to my future sister – I want you to apologize to her. And he says that he’ll never apologize to me, and calls her a silly girl, and she slaps him hard, and demands that he respect her. And then she tells him that she’s been saving herself for him, and that she loves him. And he tells her in German; you are just a child. Shut up. And then this monster makes the most egocentric marriage proposal to me, not even addressing me directly, but talking instead to my father, who showed such incredible restraint in not having him whipped for his insolence. He said that he is the handsomest man in any room, and that I will be envied of all women. And Elke was just crushed and started sobbing. I called him a fool and took her away to my room, where she cried herself out and fell asleep in my arms. But she got up an hour later and seemed fine. And insisted on going back to her hotel. She gave my parents and I each a hug and a kiss, and said that she’d see us soon. And then Yuri, our head of security, drove her back to her hotel. Where she ordered a wedding dress, and had the concierge get her some prescription sleeping pills – she told him that she wanted to get a good night’s sleep before the next soccer game – and asked him to get the good stuff. The concierge is not at fault, and was just doing his job._

_Then she wrote me a sweet letter. I cannot read it aloud; it hurts too much. But I’ve made copies available to the print press. If Ivan Kolanich is seeing this, I’ve got two questions for you. How can you live with yourself? And why aren’t you at Elke’s bedside, begging her forgiveness? I hope you die, you monster._

<end flashback>

This is a very difficult time for me, personally. Elke was more than a client. She was my hope for the future, and a perennial source of joy and laughter, and then he breaks down, sobbing silently for a minute.

We need to find Finn. I’ve spoken to the Arapov family, and they believe him to be on an artic expedition at the south pole. Only he can make the decision to pull the plug, and let Elke die with dignity.

**La Bombonera**

The crowd watches in silence as each player of the Boca Juniors brings a white rose to the empty seat where Elke sat. Her picture is taped to the seatback. A priest says a few words of comfort, and then tells the team to win this one for Elke. The audience starts chanting her name, and the play is inspired, and the Bocas win 3-0 against their arch rivals. That was for Elke, the goalkeeper says to the cameras, as fans rush the field to hoist him on their shoulders and carry him in triumph. 

**Canal Trece** _: Post-game interview with the team._

We won that one for Elke, the coach declares, and the players nod. Where did you get the idea for the white roses, and the empty seat and the photograph? Alexandra suggested it when we visited her, the team captain says. We wanted her to come to the game and accept them for Elke, but she said that she couldn’t. That it wouldn’t be right, and that she hates herself for not going back with Elke to her hotel that night. And she thinks that she made a fool of herself on TV by losing her temper. Her mother told us that Ivan Kolanich told the police detectives that came to take their statement at their mansion that their family was to blame, and Alexa was so angry when she heard this, and that was why she called that press conference, a midfielder explains earnestly. 

How is Alexandra doing? We are very concerned about her, one of the star players says, and the guys nod. She thanked us for coming, told us what to do for Elke at the next home game, and then said that she was really tired and going up to her room to lie down. Her mother told us that she goes to see Elke every day at the hospital, and reads the Holy Scriptures to her. And that the doctors want her to make the decision to shut off her life support if FinnDune isn’t found by the time the Antarctic Sea freezes in. She’s barely eating, and sleeps all the time. It’s like the two of them are wasting away together. 

Did any of you ever meet Elke? The guys shake their heads no. The GM told our coach that she’d be at the game. That she’d personally called him for tickets. She speaks fluent Spanish. He invited her and her model friends to watch the game from his box, but she was adamant that she wanted to cheer on the team from the stands, and that she was a loud and rowdy fan, and to be ready with bail money in case she got ejected from the stadium if the team played poorly.

And she and her friends had a great time, and we played better with them cheering us on. She seemed like such an animated and fun person. We had an usher invite her and her friends to an after party, but she said that she had already made plans. But the other models came, and told us that Elke isn’t a party girl. She only goes on traditional dates: flowers, dinner, the walk to the door, and the kiss goodnight. And that she thinks our goalkeeper is dreamy. His fiancé thought this was hilarious. Elke has such good taste. And demands that he call her and invite her on a double dinner date with them. She’ll want to know with whom; there’s no way Elke will go on a blind date, her friends tell us. And we all offer him bribes. But instead he calls for a sudden death penalty shootout at the next practice. And of course, none of us are able to score. You are not worthy. And so it’s not happening this week. Go practice and try again next week. 

And then we heard the news the next day, and we were all really shook up. And we’re even more upset when we read Elke’s suicide letter and see Alexandra’s press conference on TN24. And our GM calls the hospital and talks to Alexa. No visitors. Remember Elke as she was, and she breaks down into sobs. Our GM calls our coach, and we have a team meeting, and decide to send a delegation to her mansion to comfort her, and see what the team can do to help. All we can say is that once we bury Elke, Alexa is going to be the most sought after girl in BA. 

**Police Station: Puenta Arenas, Chile**

How can you drop a man off in the middle of Antarctica? A detective asks incredulously. 

He hired my boat. He has skis. Kayak for sled, and a backpack. He says that he have a vision, and must go. I do not wish to let him go. You will die, I tell him. He take off his dark glasses, and I see his eyes. He is holy man. He goes. I do not question man of God. 

The detective looks skeptically at the weathered face of the captain. And he made no arrangements for you to pick him back up? The captain shrugs.

**MediaTalent Awards Ceremony** , New York

And the winner of the Creative Award is “Brown Elf’. The commercial shows Elke dressed in a UPS uniform, working as a runner in the big city. Merry Christmas, she says as she delivers a package to a customer, and dashes off with another. 

The concept was simple. We let Elke be herself, and just filmed her as she ran a route with one of our drivers for a day. The idea was two-fold. UPS hires a lot of seasonal help for the holidays, and wants to encourage young people to consider working for them. And we wanted to capture the joy of people meeting Elke. The spot generated such a positive viewer response, that the client wanted us to do another with her, as a desk worker at one of the franchises. 

The “Merry Christmas” was her substitution. No one says ‘Happy Holidays’; that is so PC. She tells me. Live a little. It breaks my heart to know that she is in a coma, and on life support even as we speak. 

I took my family to see her magic show in Las Vegas and it was such an incredible experience. She saw me in the audience and had an usher invite us backstage afterwards. It was such a nice gesture, and it meant a lot to me. She gave my preteen daughter a big hug and a kiss and told her that she was so beautiful. I’ve never met an angel before, will you tell me your name? And insisted on taking a picture with her so she could show all her friends. She sent me a copy, “Elke loves Sofia” signed on the back. It is my daughter’s most prized possession. How do you explain to your little girl that her idol decided to take her own life? That Elke didn’t guard her heart. That someone cruel and unworthy would spurn her love. Elke was such a warm and caring person, with a gentle spirit and a sweet smile. 

My teenage son asked Elke if FinnDune was her boyfriend. He’s my best friend, she tells him. Would you like to meet him? He nods. He’ll be working out in his dressing room; it’s how he unwinds afterwards. She knocks on his door. Oh, great FinnDune, an audience please, she says, and we all chuckle nervously. And a voice says come in, in German. FinnDune is hanging from the ceiling like a bat, and doing crunches. He is very fit, but his torso is covered in scars. He has his eyes closed and Elke hands him his dark glasses. Thank you. He towels off and puts on a tshirt. What happened to you? My son asks. I was a soldier. Who are your friends, Liebchen? He has such a timbre to his voice. And Elke introduces us by our family name. And he does this neck bow. I am honored that you would come to see our show. Sofia is an angel, Elke tells FinnDune. And he covers his mouth with his hand. I have read of such in the Holy Scriptures. They usually say ‘Fear Not’ when they meet someone. And we all laugh. 

Why do you wear dark glasses? My son asks him. I have a medical condition, FinnDune tells him. Growing up, my classmates called me a freak. So I hide my eyes behind glasses. I don’t like to wear contacts, but I do for the show. May I see your eyes? Our daughter asks. Only if you open them, liebchen. And he kneels down and takes off his glasses. And she goes up to him and we watch as she pries open his eyelids gently with her fingertips. And we see her gasp, and FinnDune smiles at her so sweetly, and she gives him a big hug. His eyes are the most beautiful thing we’ve ever seen. You’re an angel, our daughter tells him. He shakes his head no. I’m just an old soldier. And he nods at Elke. Let’s let FinnDune complete his workout, she tells us. Is Elke your girlfriend? My son asks. He shakes his head no. She is a dear friend. Do you have a girlfriend? My daughter asks. I used to, but I had to leave her. Would you like to see her? And my daughter nods. Close your eyes and put on my glasses, then put your hands on the sides of my head, and open them. She is very sad, our daughter tells him. And he hangs his head. So am I, he tells her. Our son snatches away the glasses from our daughter and puts them on. I don’t see anything, he says. Keep them, and please leave now, FinnDune says still kneeling with his head down. And Elke quickly ushers us out. That is my last memory of him. And I do believe what Elke wrote in her goodbye letter is true. 

But here is where the story gets surreal. We were flying back from the Florida Keys after Christmas, and our daughter points up at the TV screen where CNN en Espanol is replaying Alexandra’s press conference. Look, she tells us, it’s FinnDune’s girlfriend. 

**_60 Minutes:_ ** _interview with the crew of the Walnut, a Russian icebreaker, with off-screen translator and subtitles._

So what was FinnDune like?

Small man. Serious, one says, and they all nod. Spoke Russian like a native. And he knew his way around a ship. He became one of us, and would keep the night watch with us, and tell us stories about the great Artic explorers in wooden ships, with their sled dogs and fur coats and skis. 

Did he tell you that he was a British soldier in Afghanistan? No. He told stories about how his ancestors would sleep in a snowbank during the Great War, in subzero temperatures with nothing but a woolcoat. And how in the Finnish war, they fought the Soviets on skis, and cut their supply lines, and let them freeze to death. He told me this most hideous story on nightwatch. About a Soviet commizzar thrown on the barbed wire by his own men, whom he had been executing as they retreated, but his pistol jammed. And how he kept on screaming: Stalin, Stalin, when he couldn’t untangle himself. And how his ancestor would not let his men shoot him. Let his god save him, he had said. And he screamed all night, and in the morning, at first light when it is the coldest, he was a frozen statue. That is very cruel, I tell him. It was not always this way, just for the true believers in godless socialism. The Russian prisoners joined the soup line with the Finnish soldiers. Of course, when the war was over that spring, Stalin sent them to Siberia. They still froze to death. But at least we fed them. 

I asked him what he planned to do. And he said that he was granted a vision. And that when the sky turned red and a glacier and ice flow appeared, he would know that he must leave the ship and begin his journey. I ask him where he is going, and he says, to the source. How far is it? And he says that it is a long and perilous trek. How will you live? The Lord will provide. 

We do not want to let him go when the time came. We like him. Then he take off his glasses, and his eyes are the eyes of a holy man. We all ask for his blessing before he departs, and he gives it. 

Why haven’t you joined in the search for him? 

We do not think he will be found. He is in heaven now. 

Did he talk about Elke? They shake their heads no.

Did he leave any personal possessions on board the ship? We do not touch his things, or enter his room. It is as he left it. He is a man of God. 

Did he do any magic? They talk among themselves, and smile. He is a chef. He prepare food in the galley. Very good with a knife, and they all nod in agreement. 

Did he talk about his past? Did you know that he was a soldier turned masseuse turned magician? No.

What do you think should be done about Elke? She want to die, so let her die. Iz very sad. So beautiful. What kind of man do this to her? Him we take and leave on iceflow. And the sailors nod in solemn agreement.

**Buenos Aires, Arapov estate.**

Kola shows up at the gate. And it buzzes open. His Maserati pulls up the long drive. And he goes up to the house and Yuri opens the door, and motions him to come inside. His head is down, and he follows Yuri to the living room, where the family is waiting. And he goes up to the couch where Elke once sat, and kneels down in front of it. Forgive me, he wails. And breaks into sobs. 

Alexa walks over to him, and puts her hand on his shoulder, and he hugs her and weeps as she holds his head against her with her hand. 

Anna walks over after a minute, and puts a hand on his shoulder. Please join us for drinks in the other room, when you are ready, Kola. 

A couple minutes later, Kola and Alexa walk over to the wine bar in the den. Anna hands him a glass. I’d rather you throw it in my face, he tells her. Please kill me. I’ve lived too long and seen too much. I cannot bear it. First Lissie and now Elke. I still may kill you, Pavel says, but not tonight, when you are in a state of contrition. Tell us what happened to Finn’s sister. 

You owe that to my wife and daughter for their compassion.

Lissie wasn’t pretty by the world’s standards. She was a lot like Finn in that you didn’t notice her until she looked at you, and you saw the light in her eyes, and heard the kindness in her voice, and felt the warmth of her touch, and saw her smile. And you’d give anything to hear her laughter. She was the most beautiful girl in any room. Finn raised Elke on stories of his sister, and she sought to emulate her.

Did Elke know what happened to her? She knew what your vile ancestor did to her heroine, and yet she still came here. And he takes off his sunglasses and glares at Pavel. Kola, stop it. Anna demands. We’re all hurting. Tell us her story so we can express our contrition. You haven’t given my husband a chance. Let’s bury this feud with Elke. She would have wanted it that way. 

Lissie killed herself. Your ancestor raped her, then sought to cover up his crime by having a squad of drunken soldiers gang rape her. They watched her crawl away afterwards and break a bottle and slit her own throat with one of the shards before they could stop her. She never told that Cheka scum where the imperial jewels were hidden. She stayed loyal to her Empress even in death. 

How do you know it was an Arapov? Pavel asks, after a minute of silence. Just as Pehr could see the future, Klaus can see the past. He is a detective. And when he walked into the room, he told us what had happened. He asked Finn for permission to dig up her remains and rebury her. That it was something that he needed to do by himself, that he wished us to remember her as she was. And he disappeared for a long time. Can you imagine what he lives with, having seen that vision, the woman that he loved defiled? I long ago killed all the soldiers and their families: men, women, and children. But I executed them with a shot to the nape of the neck. Pehr blinded and gelded your ancestor, and saw to it that he lived a long life in his new worker’s paradise. And Gri cleansed northern Finland of the Reds…in what became known as the White Terror. 

When your vile ancestor’s eldest son came of age, Finn tested him just as he tested your son. And so it went down the generations. He has always used a knife; it is his weapon of choice, and there is no man better with one. There was no contrition in your ancestors. They all burn in eternal hellfire. But Finn decides to allow you to outlive your son. He wishes you to know grief. I approve of this, but I see to it that you prosper. Opportunities arise and doors open for you, while he goes off and fights the Taliban. He is very discouraged when he comes back. I’m obsolete and my skills are becoming irrelevant, he tells me. My days as a soldier are coming to an end. Nonsense, I tell him. Let’s form a private military corporation. They are the future. I’ll think about it, he tells me. I’m off to Buenos Aires to meet Arapov. Finish this, and then we’ll deal with the Islamist scourge, I tell him. 

And he tells you the story of the expedition, to plant a seed of faith in your minds. And he starts courting your daughter. I was very puzzled by this. And I insert myself. After that dinner, I found him packing back at the club, and was upset about him suggesting that I marry Elke. I’ve known her since she was a child; it would not be right. She’s determined to have you for a husband. Well, we all don’t get what we want, do we? And he is silent. Then I ask his permission to court you, so Elke will move on. Alexandra will never have you now, I’ve seen to that. I think I know what he had planned, and I spell it out. I underestimated you, Gri. Here I had thought you had gone soft. What an exquisite torment you had planned. When would you have told him that you killed his son? Surely not before the wedding. What a dilemma you would give him: should he tell his daughter the truth and ruin her happiness, or live with the knowledge that all his accumulated wealth would one day be yours. You must allow me to court her. And he tells me that I may, if I treat her with the same respect that I treated his sister. And I knew then that his intentions were honorable, and that I’d wronged him deeply. And it grieved me what I had become. Please forgive me. Do not lose hope, I will make this right. She will be yours. 

He makes a dismissive gesture, and tells me to come with him to see Elke. It will be a balm to see you two join hands. You go, take my plane. I’ve got business to attend to here. Give the man space for repentance, Kola. If he comes after me, then I’ll end him. I tell him that Lissie’s blood cries out, why do you wait? She was my sister, Kola. And I dare not cross him. 

On behalf of my family, I repent of the wrong done to your fiancé by my vile ancestor, Pavel says with one hand across his heart. Once we have buried Elke, we will all travel and kneel at her grave and put flowers on it. Please accept my everlasting condolences on your loss, and he offers Kola his other hand, who nods and accepts it.

I’m so sorry, Kola, and Alexa bursts into tears and gives him a long hug. Please don’t leave us with that horrible story playing in our minds, Anna says quietly. Will you share with us a good memory of her? Perhaps how you met and fell in love. Kola nods. 

The von Julins weren’t like other Russian nobility. In Finland, after the reforms of 1905, they were just large landowners, and their titles counted only at the Czar’s court. They weren’t given to excessive ornamentation in dress and ruinous hospitality, and gambling away their income, and borrowing against their estates to live lavishly. They treated their people well, and lived within their means.

Before the expedition, I’d heard of Lissie’s fortune. As a land rich and cash poor noble with an ancient title, I do not plan to marry for love, but for money and connections. She is plain, I am told, but of good character, and devoted to her parents. She is a Lutheran; I am Orthodox, but I am not devout, just observant, so that is not an impediment. Her father was maimed in the war with Japan, and when he was present at court, men would stand in his presence. A typical Finn, he hardly ever spoke, but when he did, men listened, including the Czar. His father told him on his deathbed to keep the von Julins close to him, and listen to them. But Finn’s father was back at his estates in northern Finland. It was known that von Julin was out of favor, having told the Czar to put away his wife in a convent, that she was under the spell of Rasputin, and would bring ill upon the land. And indeed, all of Russia hated her, especially since she was German. But the Czar loved her, and wouldn’t hear of it. And he took her advice to become commander of the army. It would be his downfall. 

I am a handsome man, and of the highest nobility. I could have had my pick of wealthy war widows, and did take up with several during my leaves. But officers are competitive. I would throw my hat in the ring to win Lissie’s hand after the war. 

When we returned from the expedition, we made our report to the Czar. That we had seen the Ark with our own eyes. But the sunlight off the ice and snow nearly blinded us and it was only by the grace of God that we were able to descent the holy mountain. The Czar was overjoyed, and determined to go see for himself the next summer. You have served me well. Name your reward. Finn asks for leave to visit his family in Finland and tell them the good news in person, then to rejoin his old unit, and to continue fighting. Klaus asks to be given to be given the authority and commission to hunt down all the mutinous soldiers, and execute them summarily. And tells the Czar that the blood of the officers cries out to him, and he must avenge them. Pehr tells the Czar that he has seen enough of war, and wishes to be part of the peace negotiations in Sweden. It was there he began his association with the Warburg family. I ask the Czar for a leave of absence to marry, then I will return to the fighting once my wife is pregnant. The Czar thinks this is hilarious. Who’s the girl? von Julin’s sister, and I start to say her name when I’m slapped. Think of Elke slapping me, but substitute Finn, using the back of his hand, and four times as hard and twice as quick. It really hurt. You are not worthy to speak her name. The ignoble house of Kolanich is bankrupt and full of drunkards, whoremongers, and gamblers. And fighters, I tell him as I glare at him. And fighters, he acknowledges as he glares back at me. I wish leave to travel to Finland with von Julin, I tell the Czar. Who looks at Finn. I would be delighted to introduce either of these men to my sister, he says indicating Pehr and Klaus, and snubbing me again. All of you go, and escort her back with you to the palace for an audience. Shall we say a month? And we click our heels and are dismissed. 

Finn is stewing on the train ride there, and sharpens his knife. I knew what he was telling me. Go near my sister, and you’re dead. And we all know what he is capable of. We saw him execute a giant conscript who insulted his superior on the expedition. You’ve seen Finn do sleight of hand. The man was dead before we even knew what happened, and Finn was wiping off his blade on the man’s clothes. He was greatly feared thereafter, and why the mutineers waited until he wasn’t around. 

Lissie was fascinated by our eyes. I was fascinated by hers; they were hooded, like most Scandinavians, but also narrow and soft. She had this look that suggested she could fathom all manner of things, including me. I first saw her as the carriage pulled up to the house. She comes rushing out the door and is hugging Finn even before the carriage stops. They were very close. Why are you wearing glasses? Lissie, I must talk to father, before I answer you. He’s in his study, waiting for you. Is he well? Just irritable and bitter. Allow me to present my brother officers. He introduces Pehr and Klaus by their first names. And this is Colonel Kolanich of Eighth Army. And I bow and she curtsies, and studies me. She instantly caught the slight, and it puzzled her. She was wearing a plain gingham dress and an apron, and was barefoot like a peasant. She was cooking dinner for us, when she heard the carriage arrive. Her face is very brown from the sun.

We all troop inside, and go directly to the senior von Julin’s study. Where he is seated behind his desk, smoking a cigar, and drinking cognac. We come to attention, and Finn introduces us by our rank, unit, and last name. Take off your glasses, the gruff old bastard tells us. We do, and he looks at each of us for a long time. Kolanich, you are the senior officer, make a full report. And I do so. 

And we stand there for a long time, as he ponders this. A knock comes at the door. Dinner’s ready, we hear Lissie say. 

And she is startled by our eyes. They’ve been given a gift, Lissie. A divine reward for their faithfulness and hazarding all. You would do well to choose one of them for a husband.

And we walk to a large dining table. Get your mother, she will be joining us tonight, he tells Lissie. There are three empty chairs covered with black cloth. My eldest sons died in the first year of the fighting, he tells us proudly. Finn’s mother comes down, and she is dressed in black, and doesn’t look up at us as she enters the room. Alfhild, take the mourning cloth off of the chairs so that these men may sit in them. Look at their eyes, and you will know that they are worthy. And it’s then she looks at us. She doesn’t acknowledge Finn. Who kisses her cheek, and helps seat her. Lissie told me later that she never forgave him when he became an officer, instead of a minister.

We are served a simple meal of bread and pea soup, and cider to drink. Would you like another bowl? Lissie asks us. I’m sure you are used to much better, but our diet is as plain as the cook. Where did he study, in Paris? This is a sumptuous arrangement, far superior to anything I’ve ever tasted. And Lissie smiles at Pehr, and fetches him another bowl of soup. I killed our last cook with my knife, Finn says, but maybe I’ll let this one live, if I can have another portion. Don’t talk folly, his mother reprimands him. Every idle word will be judged. And I break out laughing and the senior von Julin joins me. And Lissie is trying not to laugh as well, but fails, and it is the first time I hear her laugh. 

Klaus shakes his head no, and looks at us disapprovingly. May the author and giver of life comfort you, and grant you peace, he tells Finn’s mother. Who looks at him startled. They stare at each other. Then he says quietly, excessive grief is an affront to God. Are you not a Christian woman? Do you not believe in the resurrection of the dead and the life everlasting? I think he even shocked her husband. And she puts her head down, and cannot meet his gaze. 

Perhaps you would go for a walk with me after supper, Lissie, Pehr suggests. Good idea, she grins. That’ll get my mother out of the house. Don’t vex me, Lissie. I’d be glad to accompany you madam, Klaus says. I will tell you what we have seen, and why our eyes look the way they do. And she nods at him. 

That reminds me sir, I tell her father. I brought you a gift from the capital, some of Russia’s best. Perhaps we could sample it together. And he beams at me. Finn grabs a shotgun and goes hunting for grouse. 

Her father and I stayed up late telling war stories and getting roaring drunk. And everyone left us alone. I woke up in the stable, covered with a saddle blanket, sleeping on some fresh hay. I go to the well, and splash my face with water, and I feel horrible and I’ve got a pounding headache.

You smell like a horse, Klaus tells me and he hands me a cup of coffee. You better have one of the servants draw you a bath. 

So I’m lead up to my room, and do take a bath, and shave. 

And I make it downstairs as everyone is finishing breakfast. What, no orderly to get you up, Kolanich? her father teases me. And I mutter under my breath, and her father laughs hilariously. When Finn’s mother comes out, she isn’t wearing black, and looks much better. When Lissie sees this, she goes over to Klaus and gives him a kiss on the cheek. He just nods at her. What are you doing today, my dear? Her father asks her. I thought I might visit my friend, Helena; she’ll want to know that her Grigor is back. Finn gives her a quick disapproving look, and she smiles. Will you come with me? We’re going to tour the estate on horseback, he tells her. We won’t be back till late. Please send my regards to Helena and her family. She’d make a fine minister’s wife, his mother says approvingly, and Finn doesn’t say anything, and I burst out laughing, because I cannot see Finn as a minister. Your friend seems like such a jolly fellow, Lissie says. I did not call him my friend. He is my brother officer. We served together, that is all. And Lissie looks between her brother and me, and says nothing more. 

The Czar has requested the favor of our daughter’s presence at court in three weeks, my dear. I’m sure the imbecile has heard of the fortune that will go to the man who marries her. I take your meaning to be that the war will be lost, Pehr says, as all the eligible officers will leave the front lines for a chance to court her. And everyone laughs, even Finn’s mother smiles. You do have a gracious tongue. Her father states. A rare quality. Bring Helena back with you; she will sup with us tonight. And bring me some grouse. Take the shotguns with you as you ride, he tells Finn. 

At dinner that night, I flirted hard with Helena. Who was a good-natured pretty short girl, with a large bosom. Are all the women in your family so well endowed by their Creator? I ask innocently. And everyone looks over at me shocked. With wit, a pleasant smile, and such a gracious manner. And Helena blushes, and looks down at the table. Your hair is the color of barley during harvest, and I like my beer. And Lissie’s father just cracks up laughing. Finn glares at me. And so I shut up. Pehr asks after her family, and what the weather is like in heaven. I’d assumed that you two just came back from there, seeing how radiant you both look. Lissie graces him with her smile, and her friend giggles and looks like she is going to burst with happiness. Why does your brother officer not speak to a plain girl of large fortune? Lissie asks Finn. Because the ignoble house of Kolanich is bankrupt, full of drunkards, whoremongers, and gamblers. I tell the table. Who are shocked. Don’t forget fighters, Finn’s father says with a grin. 

So you are not allowed to speak to me, she deduces, and looks at her brother, who nods. Her friend is looking at me with big eyes. Perhaps you know how to write. And she grins at me. Finn puts his head in his hands. Kola, you may speak to my daughter, her father tells me. And Finn got up abruptly, and left the table, and went to see his uncles until it was time to return to the capital with Lissie. By then, we were madly in love. 

My heart is very heavy. May I further impose on your kindness and rest here? I’ll show you to the guestroom, Anna says. I carry a set of luggage in the trunk of my car. I’ll have Yuri bring it up to you. 

When he gets up the next morning, he sees a note under his door. _They found Finn in Antarctica. He showed no emotion when he heard the news, and only asked to see her as soon as possible. He’s expected to arrive at the hospital around eleven o’clock this morning. –Yuri._

Kola takes a shower and shaves, and dresses in a fresh suit. Then he heads down to the breakfast table. Have you heard that they found Finn? Alexandra asks him. He nods, and shows them the note. How are you going to face him? Alexa asks. I may be a lot of things, but I am a man, and will own up to what I have caused, and will beg his forgiveness, and ask his guidance. 

How did you meet Finn? Pavel asks suddenly. I’d like to hear the story. Anna pours Kola a cup of coffee from the French press. 

You’ve studied the Great War? he asks Pavel, who nods. I was a colonel under Brusilov. I had started the war as a junior Lt., but battlefield promotions and my decisiveness caught his attention. I had no problem sending the men under my command to their deaths to complete my orders. 70% causalties were common at the start of the war. But the survivors would live to fight another day, and teach the green recruits the art of battle. And by 1916, my troops were a formidable force that could be relied on. So my general was reluctant to send me back to St. Petersburg; I got the mission done. But the czar was in command, and wanted me for an aide. My family is of the highest nobility, and I had proven myself. Little did I know that I was being called back to go on an expedition to find the ark of Noah.

So we’re gathered together and shown the aerial photos, and given maps of the area, and the Czar tells me and a select group of officers, whatever it takes. And he gestures to us. 

I’m the first to step forward. With your permission sir, and I present the case for a force of 150 men. 50 in reserve at base camp. 50 to attack each slope. And we reinforce whichever shows promise. We will not fail you. What would become basic Soviet battle doctrine. And everyone applauds, and the Czar beams at me. 

Then a senior Lt., asks his Highness for permission to offer an alternative. And the Czar frowns at his impertinence, and says keep it brief, von Julin. I was an alpinist before the war. So I know of what I am about to speak. You do not attack a mountain with brute force. You must probe it. There will not be much time to scale up to that height once we arrive. The storms will come, and the difficulty will be extreme, even if the terrain is navigable. I would advise his excellency to make one concentrated effort. Allow me to select nine men from my old unit. We have been through fire and ice together, and would die for each other. And give me three officers such as him, and he gestures to me, men of proven character who have been tested in battle, who will manage our logistics and weather out the storms to support us on our climb. And take charge of the camps at each level of the ascent, and see that supplies are ferried up the mountain, and that the injured and dead are ferried down, and given the honor they deserve. 

You would have all the glory for yourself, would you? Hold your tongue if you are going to keep your place on this expedition. And officers do not serve conscripts. If I did not know your father, I would think you a revolutionary. And Gri bows and is silent for the rest of the meeting, and is ostracized by the others. But I find him afterwards, and ask him to requisition the necessary alpine gear. And he nods, I will see to it. 

The expedition was a disaster from the get go. And it tells you something about Finn that he never said, I told you so.

Sir, I’m afraid that Finn will insist that I follow through on my proposal to your daughter. And he’s not a man to be gainsayed, nor was he known as the angel of death for nothing. It is my intention to bury my Elke, and then submit to my friend’s judgment. Please prepare yourselves.

Why did you hurt Elke? Why did you have to do that? Alexa asks him. She told me to fix this, and bring you and Finn back together. And my strategy would have worked, had she not decided to harm herself. Surely, you can see this, he says, and then looks over at her father, who nods slowly, realization dawning in his eyes. I wanted Elke to move on. I’ve the light of battle in my eyes. It is my gift. And I’m not Finn. I’ve been with countless women. Elke should have known better than to form an attachment to such a one as me. 

I’ve no right to ask you this, Alexandra, but will you take pity on me and help me face him? I’d like to be at her bedside when he arrives, and you are the only one who can make that happen, and get me into the hospital. 

**The hospital**

A few TV cameras point at the sky, where a helicopter is landing on the roof. Meanwhile, Kola and Alexa are being escorted by a phalanx of police to the entrance of the hospital to see Elke. 

A reporter speaks into the microphone. The helicopter bearing Finndune has just arrived. As has Alexandra Arapov and a male companion. Is it, can it be the mysterious Kola – come to beg Elke’s forgiveness? 

Finn emerges from the helicopter looking thin and haggard, and is wearing a borrowed pair of sunglasses. Security personnel are there to lead him into a conference room, where a team of doctors meets with him. And explains her condition. And makes their recommendation. He nods gravely and thanks them for their efforts. I’d like to be alone with her for an hour. 

Kola and Alexa race down the hall to the room. Is he still in there? Alexa asks. The doctors nod. Her life support has been off for five minutes now, she’s gone. And Kola and Alexa start weeping, and hold each other for a long time. And then go up to the room. Kola knocks on the door. Come in, Finn says. And Kola slowly opens the door, and enters the room holding Alexa’s hand. Kola! a weak voice cries out from the bed.

The Arapovs are watching the somber live hospital footage on their TV at home. They’ve seen the soccer team arrive soon after their daughter, and then wait outside in their team colors. The goalkeeper is singled out for abuse by the gathered crowd. And a reporter interviews him. I’m engaged to be married at the end of the season. We’ll name our first daughter after her, I swear it, he says earnestly, and then breaks down into tears. 

The crowd goes silent as there is a commotion coming from the doorway. She’s alive, the spokesperson shouts. She’s conscious and talking with her friends. It’s a miracle. Pandemonium erupts. 


	9. Interregnum

_At a press conference an hour later._

Elke is emaciated and very weak, but getting stronger by the hour. FinnDune collapsed from exhaustion. His potassium levels were dangerously low, and he’s now hooked up to an IV, and is under observation. Alexandra and Kola were able to speak to Elke briefly, before FinnDune collapsed and they summoned the doctors. Elke asked that he be given a bed right beside her, and we agreed. They are both resting now, and their friends are with them. 

Alexandra told us that Elke asked her to go get her soccer jersey; it’s what she wants to wear when she comes out of the hospital. She is under close observation. All I can say is that none of this is medically possible, neither coming out of her coma, nor her remarkable recovery. I cannot explain it. Hold all your questions. 

**Inside Edition** : TV interview of the helicopter crew that rescued FinnDune.

An NSA satellite spotted him traversing an ice shelf over a hundred miles away from where we think he left the ship. And so we set up and flew there as fast as we could. A big storm came up and grounded us. And we went to where he was last sighted, and started doing sweeps. At the last circuit, before we are about to turn back, I spot something moving on the sheer slope of a glacier. And we go in closer, and see that he’s free climbing it. No ropes, no gear, just guts. We don’t have any way to get to him, and he motions us to wait for him on top. 

So we radio in our findings and location, and land on top, and a couple of the guys jump out with emergency gear, and the rest of us head back to base to refuel.

Another squall hit. So we couldn’t return. 

He came up to us that night, in a whiteout. His eyes are the most beautiful thing I’ve even seen, and another man nods and adds, they almost glow in the dark. He couldn’t talk, and gestured for some water. He was exhausted and dehydrated. He thanked us for coming to get him. We gave him some rations. After he’d eaten, we told him about Elke being on life support, and how she put on her wedding dress and wrote a sweet letter to her friend, Alexandra, and took a bottle of sleeping pills. You’ve got to pull the plug, Finndune. And he told us to call him Finn. And didn’t say anything else. Where did you go, how did you get here? And he just told us that it was a long journey, and that he needed to rest. He didn’t stay in our tent, but disappeared into the night. We didn’t get a wink of sleep that night, the wind was just howling, and it was so cold, we almost froze to death. 

Our helicopter came back the next day, and we were all just in awe of him as he came out of a snowdrift. And it was sunny and bright, and he asked if he could borrow a pair of snow googles or sunglasses. That his eyes were sensitive to sunlight, and that he had a rare medical condition. And I gave him mine, and we left. And he asked each of us to write down our names and phone numbers, that he wished to do something for us when he got back. And we flew him back to the base, and he shook each of our hands, and they took him away. And that Geneva attorney contacted us, and wired us each a million dollars. 

How do you think he survived out there for two weeks? I don’t want to think about it. I get chills just remembering him free climbing that glacier. I don’t think he’s completely human. And the others nod in solemn agreement. 

_A month later_.

Elke is on the Susana Gimenez Show, fully recovered, glowing, and even more beautiful. She’s wearing her soccer jersey. And she walks out to applause. I’m back. And she smiles at the camera. 

Elke, what happened? Why did you try to end your life? Su, I was a silly girl, and a hopeless romantic. I know most of you have read my goodbye letter to Alexa. I’m so ashamed of what I did. I’ve given up modeling. Who wants to work with a girl that will kill herself if she gets rejected, right? I should be dead, but I’m so glad to be alive, and to be given a second chance.

What caused you to try to end your life, Elke? 

So I’m at my friend Alexa’s place, and my crush comes in, and I hadn’t seen him in so long, and didn’t know when I’d see him again. And so I threw myself at him in front of Alexa and her parents. I told him that I was 23, and had been saving myself for him. And that the bloom would be off the rose soon. Please take me while I am still young and beautiful, and let me ravish you with my love.

Su stares out into her audience and blinks several times. And he rejected you? She’s finally able to say. 

Elke nods. He told me that I was just a child, and to shut up. Su is horrified, and covers her hand with her mouth, and tears up.

And then he made the most romantic marriage proposal to my best friend, Alexa, who was sitting right next to me on the couch. And it hurt so much. That is so awful, Su is finally able to say through tears. 

What did she do? She said that we should leave the presence of a fool. And the audience claps hard. I think I like your friend, Su declares. Why isn’t she here? She’s at home, really sick. Anyway, she took me up to her room, and held me, while I cried myself out. 

But I insisted on going back to my hotel later on. I knew what I was going to do. And I ordered a wedding dress. And put it on, along with my tiara. Then I wrote Alexa a letter, and took a whole bottle of prescription sleeping pills, and feel asleep.

Dream? Lights? Voices? Su asks. 

There was none of that. I just woke up in a hospital bed, and Finn was holding my hand, and smiling at me. What did he say? He didn’t say anything. He just kept smiling at me. And he stroked my forehead. Until someone knocked on the door. And he says, come in. Then Kola and Alexa came in, crying, thinking I was dead, as the life support had been off for like ten minutes, and I was able to whisper his name. 

And he is so contrite now, and I’ve forgiven him. Well, I haven’t, Su declares. And the audience applauds her frankness. 

Is it true that he’s still chasing after your best friend, and comes over to the house for dinner all the time? Elke nods. Her parents just love him. How do you feel about him? I still love him, maybe even more now that I get to see him all the time, as he courts Alexa. How does she treat him? She’s not interested in him; she’s in love with my friend Finn.

Speaking of, we’ve all heard about Finn and his eyes. Was he wearing his glasses when you woke up? Of course not, Finn never wears his glasses around me. His eyes are so beautiful. I know that he’s not very tall, and well, kind of homely at first glance, but Su, if you saw his eyes, you’d say that he is the most handsome man on the planet. Okay – the second most handsome man, she says grinning at the audience. Su rolls her eyes. 

Okay then. Back to his eyes. Do they glow in the dark? How would I know? And she looks at Su steadily. I’m sorry, Elke, I wasn’t trying to imply anything. I just heard that from the rescue crew. Elke nods. Why does he wear his glasses in public? His eyes are sensitive to bright light. He’s always had a note from his doctor, and growing up he was called a freak by the other kids. So yeah, he’s shy about his eyes. And no, he’s not a vampire, and didn’t turn me into one either, like those stupid tabloids have been saying. If he didn’t wear them, everyone would stop and stare at him. It’s that simple, Su. 

Tell us about FinnDune. Does he have magic powers? I’ve been his assistant, so you really cannot expect me to answer that, Elke winks at the audience. Is he going back to Las Vegas? I don’t think so. Why doesn’t he talk to the press or do interviews? I think most Finnish men are reticent with strangers; it’s a cultural thing. 

What’s he going to do now? He’s going back to being a masseuse. When he could make millions as a magician? He’s used to living hand to mouth. He likes helping people one-on-one, especially those with chronic pain. Alexa’s aunt Tatty said that he cured her migranes. He could help you, Su. Do you want to try him? I’ll set it up. I think I’ll take you up on that, Elke. The audience applauds. 

Now explain Finn to us, who he is as a person. Hmmm. I guess the best way to describe Finn would be to say that he’s a mystic. So he passes out from sheer exhaustion, and I insist that the doctors put him in a bed right next to mine. And they do, and hook him up to an IV. 

That afternoon, when he wakes up, Alexa is still holding his hand and she kisses him, and tells him that she loves him. And Finn looks over at me and Kola, and tells us that more things are wrought by prayer than this world dreams of. 

_The hospital room, late afternoon, a month earlier_

Let’s get out of here, Kola whispers to Alexandra, as Finn and Elke are sleeping peacefully. They walk out of the room, and see policemen posted at the end of the hall, at the nurse’s desk. Alexa goes up to them. They’re resting now. We’ll come back tomorrow. Please, no visitors. And watch for the press trying to pose as doctors or nurses to get pictures. If they don’t have an ID, they don’t get in the door. I’ll have your badge if you fail me. The cop draws his head back, and looks at the feisty brunette in awe. 

The press starts clamoring as they approach the exit. What do you say we go to the cafeteria and get a cup of coffee? Alexa suggests. 

So what do we do about them? I’ll just give them the Magnum, and he makes a pouty glare. Alexa laughs hard. But you, on the other hand, should say something. I don’t know what to say. Last time I talked to the press, I was so mad at you. I can help you with that, he says grinning. 

What are you going to do about Elke, Kola? She needs to know about my past. I was going to talk to her that night, Alexa, when I found her. I’m not Finn; countless women have shared my bed. How does that work, with the whole forever young thing you’ve got going on. I thought you would age if you got married. He nods. I haven’t committed adultery, well, knowingly, anyway, and I haven’t stolen from another man – you understand? And it’s easy to find companionship in this post agrarian society when one is as handsome as I am. 

Alexa looks at him steadily for a long time. That was the old you. Elke isn’t the only one who is being given a second chance in all this. We all are. And I intend to make the most of it. If Elke can throw herself at you with such abandon, then I can do the same to Finn. Kola smiles slightly. You might be on to something there. 

They walk outside. What happened up there? A reporter asks. It’s a miracle. I’ve been coming here for two weeks and watching her slowly waste away. So the cops don’t want to let Kola go up to her, and by the time we get that sorted out, and up to the third floor, the doctors tell us that her life support has been off for five minutes. And so we just held each other for a long time and wept. Then we go to see Finn and say one last goodbye to Elke. We knock on the door, and he says come in. And Kola goes first, and I’m holding his hand, and I hear this faint voice whisper, Kola! And he rushes to her and asks her to forgive him. And Elke was so happy to see her Kola and gazed at him with such tenderness that I forgave him too. Even though he is still a prideful Russian man. 

How is FinnDune? A woman reporter asks. He’s taken. That’s all the ladies of BA need to know. Now I need to get some sleep myself, so I can came back tomorrow looking pretty for my man. I’m taking the monster with me, to protect him, so he doesn’t get lynched. I don’t think he’s the right guy for Elke, but who cares what I think. I’m just so happy to have her back.

Do you have anything to say to all this, Kola? How dare you address me directly? Go home and find something to clean, he tells the woman reporter. Whose jaw drops. I am of the highest nobility. It is only permitted to speak to me in the third person. You may address me as the Chevalier Ivan Kolanich, he says imperiously. Go back to Russia, you chauvinist pig! the woman reporter shouts at him. I cannot wait to leave this effeminate decadent society, where men are slaves to their women. But I intend to take with me the only good thing that BA has to offer, and he extends his hand to Alexa. 

You conceited, arrogant jerk. I hate you, she says, with her fists clenched. Hate I can deal with - it just shows how passionate you are about me now. Several tough looking Slavic men in suits approach, and surround him as he walks nonchalantly to a limo with diplomatic plates. 

Pavel laughs hard into his hands, as he hears his daughter tell the story. I told him that all of us are being given a second chance. But he didn’t learn anything; he hasn’t changed one bit. Is his car still here? I’m going to key it. Pavel grins at her. He’s not serious, Alexa; he’s just playing the rake. That was a broken man here the other night. He is just manipulating the media, and changing the narrative from him and Elke to you and him. Now he couldn’t visit the hospital even if he wanted to, and he’s the secret hero of all hen-pecked men of the world. I think I will give him my blessing, he says chuckling. Maybe I’ll call a press conference. That’s not funny. I’m in love with Finn. And you need to accept that. Your mother and I do accept it. But he’s not welcome here, and you will become a stranger to your parents the day you elope with him. This is my first sunny day in such a long time, and why is it that everyone is trying to rain on it. First Kola, now you? I would not have it so, and he gives his daughter a hug. Will you and mom go with me to the hospital tomorrow? We would like to, Alexa. You know how much we care about Elke. But just send her our love. I think it’s better that she spends time with her friend now. But when he’s gone, we’ll be happy to visit her. Our home is her home, and she is always welcome to stay here as she recovers and afterwards. Please tell her that. 

What are you going to do about Finn? Alexa asks. Nothing. He brought back Elke, and for that I’m grateful. Pavel abruptly changes the subject. I’m so proud of the way you’ve handled yourself throughout this crisis, Alexa. You are truly your mother’s daughter. 

There’s a knock on the door, and Anna comes in. Kola is here. He wants to talk to you, and she smiles at her daughter. Come on in, Kola, Anna tells him. So this is where you sleep, he says. It looks a lot more comfortable than my coffin. And everyone laughs. He’s wearing contacts. You cannot withhold your blessing from so happy a match. You must allow me to express how ardently I… yes, of course, you have it, Kola, if you can get her to say yes. 

Get out of bed. Let’s go for a drive. Have you seen my car? He asks grinning. I was just thinking about keying it. And NO, I don’t want to see the backseat and admire the ceiling, player. Everyone laughs. I’m tired, Kola. This has been such an amazing day. Now I just want to go to sleep. Shall the monster sleep under your bed, or in the closet? Take the guestroom again, and we’ll talk in the morning. I like you without the sunglasses, by the way. You mean to tell me that there has been a man in sunglasses impersonating me? Did he tell you that you are beautiful, that the way you move is poetry… KOLA – go to bed. 

The next morning at breakfast, Kola comes down in a borrowed bathrobe, shorts and tshirt, and grabs some cold cereal. So did you figure out why I did what I did coming out of the hospital?

Yes, you’re smitten by my feminine delights, Alexa says batting her eyes at him. Quite. Got the paper? Yuri might be doing the crosswords. Alexa goes to find him. Sure enough, he’s on the front cover, with Alexa glaring at him with fists clenched. The photo is captioned “I HATE YOU!” Kola shows the headline to her father, and they break out laughing. Such a good friend to Elke. No wonder the notorious rake is trying to seduce her. I think that some soccer players are going to come calling today, to check on you, and offer to handle the situation. Pavel tells her. Kola follows this up: “Oh please, don’t hurt him, Elke will be so upset”. And he and Pavel laugh some more, as Anna looks between them, smiling. 

I take it that you are going to see her later this morning? Alexa nods. Then please take a message to Elke for me. Depends on the message. KolaBear loves Elke more than PoohBear loves honey. Anna puts her hand over her mouth, and giggles. Alexa grins at him.

And I’d like you to take a message to her friend, he says getting serious. Ask him if he’d explain to you both about my past. That I wish to make a new beginning, and I’m going to take my second chance, as you so eloquently put it the other day. If I’m to be out in the public eye, my past will not stay buried. But I think I’ve found a way to handle it, and he grins widely. 

Two can play the media game, you know, she tells him. “He’s wrong for Elke; he doesn’t deserve her. And I’m 23, and it’s time I left my parent’s house. Who knows if I’ll ever get another offer. And he did say that he was a nobleman. And that would make me a LADY. And he is kind of cute”. And Alexandra smiles at Kola. I’ve created a monster. Before I head out, I’d like you all to have my new address of where I’ll be staying. I’m renting a villa outside of town. My security knows that you are all most welcome. 

Mom, yesterday at the hospital I kissed Finn and told him that I loved him. Anna is silent, and puts her head down. He’s the best man I know, Kola says quietly. And everyone proceeds to finish their breakfast in silence. Thank you for your hospitality, once again, and he abruptly leaves the table. I would rather you marry him, Anna says suddenly. You’ve seen the way Elke looks at him. And her dad nods. That’s the way I look at Finn now.

Yuri escorts Alexa up to entrance of the hospital. I’ll be happy to talk to you all afterwards, she tells the press. I got it from here, she whispers to Yuri. Elke won’t want you to see her until she’s back to good. And she kisses him goodbye on the cheek.

The room is full of flowers and get well cards. He’s getting more flowers than I am, Elke says, pretending to pout. She looks remarkably better, and Alexa tells her so as she gives her a hug. I’ve been coming to see you every day, and we read the Holy Scriptures together, she says, looking at Finn with a big grin. Which passage shall we read today? Read the 121st Psalm please, Alexandra, Finn tells her. That is so beautiful, she says after a pause, when she is finished. I thought that you would like it, Finn tells her. It’s one of my favorites. 

We need to talk about the headline in today’s newspaper, Finn tells her seriously. Before we do, I’ve got to deliver a message from Kola to Elke. Elke brightens up. “KolaBear loves Elke more than PoohBear loves honey”. Finn laughs and Elke radiates joy, as Alexa kisses her on the cheek. Now we can talk about the paper. And she pulls the front page out of her handbag, and hands it to Elke. “I HATE YOU”. Why would you tell him that? Elke asks. He tricked me and the media. And pretended to be all conceited and arrogant, and insulted my hometown, the men of Argentina, and the woman reporter. She tells them what happened. And I so fell for it. He stopped by the house last evening, and got my parents laughing by asking my father for his blessing again. They love him now. Of course, my dad gave it to him, if he can get me to consent.

But I told him that I loved Finn, and that he needed to accept that. What did he say? That he and mom do accept it. But that Finn is not welcome in their house, and I will become a stranger to them once I elope with him. Finn says nothing to all this, while Elke frowns at this news. 

Elke, you aren’t the only one who is being given a second chance in all of this. Kola is determined to change, and to be a better man. He wants Finn to tell us about his past. He said he stopped by your hotel room that night to apologize and tell you himself, only to find you unconscious. And now, thanks to his media stunt, he can never show up here without being lynched. Oh, Finn, here’s his address, and the number for his driver. She hands him a piece of paper. He wants you to stay at his country villa.

What did Kola tell you of his past? Finn asks Alexa. That he’s not you. That countless women have shared his bed. I asked him how that works, with the whole forever young thing he’s got going on. And he says that it’s easy for him to find companionship in this post agrarian society. And that he hasn’t stolen from any man, nor does he knowingly commit adultery. That sounds like Kola, Finn says with a sigh, and shakes his head. He had the reputation of being quite the ladies man even before we left on the expedition. I did not approve of him seeing my sister. And Finn is silent for a long time.

Elke, I know that you’ve always set your heart on Kola. My sister was the same way. And he put away childish things, and fell madly in love with her, and eventually won my approval. But then she died at the hands of the Trotskites. And Kola and I went on a rampage. The wars against the Soviets eventually ended. Kola sought solace in the arms of rich widows of loose character, of which there were so many in France. I told Kola that he was ruining his testimony and that my sister would be ashamed of him. We parted company, until the winter war, when the three of us, Kola, Pehr, and I, reunited again in Finland. Your grandfather found love in Switzerland after the war. Kola knew my opinion of his conduct, and left after they had joined hands. Then your father and mother died in that plane crash, and the loyal family retainer, Gunter looked after you. I told Kola that he wasn’t welcome to be a fixture in your life as long as he lived dissolutely. He agreed with me, and doted on you when he’d come to celebrate Christmas and your birthdays. And that is how you remember him. A handsome man who makes you so happy. You developed a schoolgirl crush on him. He went back to Russia after the collapse, and started a new life there. He’s done very well for himself, and has powerful allies in the new Russian court. But you are just as headstrong as your grandmother. And I begin to see the hand of Providence in this. So when Alexa and I meet Kola unexpectedly at a restaurant, I urge him to take you for a wife. This shocks him. And he leaves. Later that night, he finds me at the club. What do you mean by this? I’ve known her since she was a child. It would not be right. This is of God. She is not a child anymore, Kola. And she is determined to have you for a husband. He scoffs at this. Well, we don’t get what we want in this life, do we, he says bitterly, and I know that he is referring to my sister. Gri, Alexandra will never have you now. I’ve seen to that. Perhaps Elke will move on if I court her. May I do so? If you treat her with the same respect that you showed my sister, you may. And I can see that this makes him very emotional. I have wronged you, he tells me. I will fix this. She will be yours. Do not lose hope. 

What are you going to do about Elke? I ask him. I will treat her as a little girl. And she will get angry at me. Then I will tell her that I’ve been with countless women, and what is she to me, than just a child, and the granddaughter of our dearly departed Pehr. That her affections are misguided, misplaced, and totally inappropriate considering the situation. And that she should move on. 

And here we are, Finn says finally. Your stunt got you Kola’s undivided attention. He’s yours if you’ll still have him. Of course I’ll still have him, Elke blurts out. And Finn closes his eyes. And Alexa and Elke glance at each other worriedly. He opens them a minute later, and looks at Elke with tears in his eyes. He’ll be entirely devoted to you, a good provider, and a loving father. And he strokes Elke’s forehead. What aren’t you telling her, Finn? She made her decision a long time ago. I’ve only told her what she already knows in her heart. 

Finn, when you see Kola, I want you to tell him that Elke loves her KolaBear. And that the past is prologue, and I would only have him keep silent. Now I want Alexa to tell us everything that’s happened while I’ve been in a coma. But first, Finn, give us a moment. Bathroom, and she presses the call button for the nurse. I love you, Elke. Finn says and kisses her forehead; I’ll go for a walk. See what you’re getting? She tells Alexa. Who bites her lip and grins shamelessly at Finn. What? He asks her. I’m 23, and the bloom will be off the rose soon. I want you to take me while I’m still young and beautiful, and let me ravish you with my love. He looks at her astonished. Now you know how I feel. What are you going to do about it? The nurse comes in, and interrupts the moment. I gotta go to the bathroom, Elke says apologetically. Sorry, and she grimaces. The nurse laughs. 

Pavel and Anna watch on TV as their daughter and Finn emerge from the hospital, holding hands. She whispers something in his ear, and he nods, and stops. He’s wearing his homely blind man sunglasses once again. Finn and I are going to grab something to eat. Please don’t follow us; we’ll be coming back here right afterwards. Elke is getting better by the hour. She can speak normally now. Yesterday, she could only talk in a whisper. Her hair looks awful, so I’m not going to let her have any visitors until I get her prettied up. There are cops on the floor, and if you try to sneak past, I will tase you, and she pats her handbag. Now I told her about everything that happened while she was a vegetable, and she’s super embarrassed that her goodbye letter is out there, and she is so touched that her soccer team won the game for her. Those guys are incredible, and Finn nods in agreement. 

She’s still in love with that jerk, Ivan Kolanich. If you’re watching this, Finn is my boyfriend. You don’t even rate compared to him. 

Finndune, how did you heal Elke? He whispers in Alexa’s ear, and she nods. Please call him Finn; FinnDune is his stage name. Finn, what were you doing in Antarctica? What vision did you see? He whispers in her ear, and she smiles. He’s Finnish, and isn’t comfortable talking to strangers. 

Now back to Elke. She’s not accepting visitors or doing any interviews while she’s in the hospital. I plan to come and see her everyday, so you’re stuck talking to me. 

After Yuri drops off Finn at Kola’s villa late that afternoon, he takes her home. She rides up front with him, and they talk. So at least you approve of him, she asks rhetorically. He nods, but I’m not your father, Alexa. 

Yuri, I want to talk to you about something. Back at the hospital, Finn was telling us about Kola’s past as a ladies man; Kola asked him to, so he wouldn’t have to. And Elke wouldn’t hear it. In one ear and out the other. And Finn closed his eyes for a minute, and then he opened them and they were full of tears as he looked at Elke. He said that Kola would be entirely devoted to her, that he would be a good provider, and a loving father. I think he can see into the future. Not only that, but he’s not telling her everything. And he wouldn’t say anymore, when I pressed him, other than Elke made her choice a long time ago, and that he only told her what she already knew in her heart. Yuri, what should I do? They weren’t tears of happiness. He’s silent for a long time. Elke isn’t stupid, Alexa. She saw them too. I think that you two are going to always be close friends, and you’ll be there for each other in the tough times. But those three qualities would also describe your father. Would you change that for your mother’s sake? She shakes her head no, and is quiet the rest of the drive home. 


	10. The Impasse

**A party after the latest victory of the Boca Juniors.**

Elke, you are even more beautiful than you were before. Are you sure you don’t want to go back to modeling? The captain of the team tells her. And you are dribbling so much better. We just seem to get better with age, don’t we, Jorge? Elke, what is the deal with Alexa and Finn? The guys are crazy about her, and want to ask her out. They can ask. Her parents don’t approve of Finn and he isn’t allowed to come to the mansion. Her father won’t even let Finn speak to him, so he cannot ask for his permission. He’s told Alexa that she should elope if she’s determined to be with Finn, but then she’ll be banished from home. That’s awful, Jorge says. I know it really hurts Alexa; she’s so in love with him. And Finn won’t propose to her without her parent’s consent. So he’s gone back to my place in Switzerland. 

But how come they allow that loco Russian nobleman to come over all the time? Everyone knows she hates him. The interviews that guy gives are just hilarious. He should be a stand-up comedian.

<flashback>

_You need to work on your deportment, if such a one as you is ever going to ever get married, Kola tells the attractive interviewer. Yes, act outraged, but you know that the Chevalier Kolanich speaks the truth. How can he not, considering his distinguished lineage and the accumulated wealth that frees him from pedestrian constraints. Oh really, what would you have me do? Start by lowering your eyes. You are not a man. And then remove the pounds of jewelry and makeup that are wearing you; any respectable man would think that you’ve come from a brothel, and cross the street to avoid being seen with you. And be silent. That way, when another Russian man happens to see you, modest and proper, he will not hear your honkish voice until it is too late, and you’re saying, I do. The camera shakes as the cameraman laughs hilariously, and the interviewer tears up. Alexandra will never consent to marry you; you’re mean and cruel. I have her father’s blessing, what do I need her consent for? We have decided that she will be my wife. Even her mother, the great lady that she is, approves of me. How can she not? Just think of how fortunate Alexandra will be when she is presented to our new Czar as the Lady Kolanich. You, you…the interviewer sputters with rage. He holds up a hand to silence her. It is true that her countenance is plain, but she is spirited, intelligent, devoted to her parents, of good character, and god-fearing. It is for these qualities that she will be the mother of my children._

_Now I have a plane on standby, for when my men capture her. And when she sees me wearing the ancient crest of my family, along with my sword, she will swoon with desire, and the priest will make us man and wife, and I will take her into my tent, and we will be one flesh. The interviewer gawks at him. What about her best friend, Elke?_

_Elke Summer is a rare flower of such exquisite beauty, far superior in looks and character to any other woman. But she is not Russian, and the Chevalier Ivan Kolanich owes it to his ancestors to marry a Russian girl, so that our visage is passed down. It has ever been so. I look just as my father did, as he did his. Alexandra will give me a son that will look just as I do. It is the way of the noble house of Kolanich._

_But my men have instructions to capture Elke too, as she seems to be inseparable from my Alexandra. And she should be there to share in the joy of my bride. And she will see that Russian men know how to make their women happy, and give up her childish infatuation with men who chase around a soccer ball. I do not understand this. Perhaps you should interview them. One of them may be attracted to your manly persona. And the camera starts shaking again._

**Susana Gimenez Show**

Su: Today we have on the most handsome man in Argentina, the Chevalier Ivan Kolanich. 

Kola: Su, it is good to hear an Argentine woman speak the truth. What all are thinking and none are willing to say. Your honesty does you great credit. I permit you to address me as an equal, even though you are not. 

Su: Thank you, Chevalier Kolanich. Now what would you have done if Elke had died? 

Kola: The only honorable thing. I would have fallen on my sword at her graveside and ended the lineage of Kolanich. But Providence would not allow this to happen. Kola, as I am known only to my intimates, begged her forgiveness, and was granted it. Elke is the most beautiful woman in the entire world. If only she were Russian, but let us not waste time dealing in hypotheticals.

Su: How is it that you are able to go over to the Arapov mansion all the time, and yet your friend Finn isn’t allowed?

Kola: I am handsome; he is not. He is my friend, and very brave, but there it is. Su laughs heartily at this, and shakes her head. 

Su: How is Elke handling your pursuit of Alexandra?

Kola: I explained to her that I owed it to my ancestors to marry a Russian girl. That she is of exquisite beauty and that her friend is plain, but that means nothing to me, and I promised to lavish upon her friend such jewels and ornaments, that none will notice her plainness and all will praise her excellent character. What did Elke say to that? She is silent, like a good woman should be. If only she were Russian… 

Su: What are you going to do if Alexandra keeps rejecting you?

Kola: Rejection is the wrong word, Su. A woman cannot reject such a one as myself; she is not a nun, after all. Yes, I understand why she would wish to defer the acceptance of my hand. Who among you would not wish the flattery of my attentions prolonged. That is why I have instructed my men, who are former Spetsnaz, not to use violence when they abduct her. She only wishes to increase my affection with her feigned reluctance. It’s working. And I can promise you, that after we are married, she’ll be soon pregnant with my son, and unable to go out socially with me, so she should enjoy her moment in the spotlight while it lasts. 

Su: You really think that you are going to get her, don’t you? 

Kola: Su, if you were Alexandra?

Su: It’s true. I’d be on the plane with my bags packed. Kola nods at this, as the audience gasps at this revelation. 

Su: Now you’ve made many derogatory references to the soccer players on Elke and Alexa’s team. He shrugs. Our next guest is midfielder Tomas Alavarez. And the audience goes wild as he comes out, wearing a sport coat over a tshirt, and a gold chain. 

Su: Tomas, is it true that you are throwing your hat in the ring for Alexa?

Tomas: Of course. He calls her plain and Elke beautiful. Kola shrugs. Alexandra is the most beautiful woman in BA; I have seen her, coming back from the hospital from visiting comatose Elke. Not eating, in mourning – and she was gorgeous then. And now that Elke is back, Alexa is a vision. And I ask you all, where was he in all this?

Kola: I was settling my affairs, so I could end myself, if the beautiful Elke died. I did wrong in proposing marriage to plain Alexandra in front of the beautiful Elke. I forget sometimes my effect on women. Tomas rolls his eyes and shakes his head.

Su: Tomas, have you asked her out on a date? He nods. And?

Tomas: She says not yet. That her father must speak to Finndune and give him a yes or a no. If it’s no, then she says that she’ll go out with me. 

Kola: I have heard of these dates. That the men of Buenos Aires are so romantic, and bring their girlfriends flowers, wine and dine them, and enjoy song and dance with them before they are married? This is true, Su? Who nods, and then asks. What do Russian men do? 

Kola: these dates, as you call them, are what Russian men do after they are married. Women here call me a chauvinist pig, and yet that is what these Latin men turn into once they have their woman. And the women in the audience give him a standing ovation. 

Su: So you’re telling me that Russian men only turn romantic after they’re married. 

Kola: We do not call it romantic. It is our duty as husband. It has always been this way in the house of Kolanich. 

Su: Did you tell Alexandra this?

Kola: Why would I tell her? I will show her once we are married. And she can see very well for herself how her most excellent father treats her lovely mother. 

Su: Tomas, do you have anything to say to this? 

Tomas: I’d tell Alexa that if you marry a guy like him, and expect him to change, well-that is not going to happen.

Kola: The soccer player speaks truth. The Chevalier Ivan Kolanich does not change. He will be as he ever was. 

Su: Does the Chevalier Ivan Kolanich have any advice for his rival?

Kola: Find a different Russian woman to date. Perhaps one of those sweaty tennis players who grunt as they hit the ball and wear immodest clothes. These manish women should appeal to womanish man. 

Tomas springs out of his chair and comes at Kola. Why do you wear your mother’s necklace? Kola asks him, as he rises from his chair to meet the onslaught. And the soccer player throws a punch. And suddenly finds himself thrown on the floor and in an armlock. Kola runs a hand through his hair. The Chevalier Ivan Kolanich is not just the handsomest man in any room; he’s also the toughest.

**The Law Office of Gunter Mannerheim**

So good to see you again, old friend. The men shake hands. You restored life to an old man. Are you well, Gunter? I am better now that Elke is in health. She is like a daughter to me. This has shaken me, Grigor. 

How is Elke? Finn smiles. She’s finally found a true friend in Alexandra, and she is looking forward to marrying Kola. She’s in a good place. And everyone tells her that she is even more beautiful than before, and it’s true. She is so happy. 

Why is Kola acting the imbecile with the whole Chevalier Ivan Kolanich nonsense and pretending to romance Alexandra? His plan is to heighten the contradiction and thereby disassociate himself from who he was in the past. When the time is right, Alexa will reject him publically. And surprise, everyone will learn from her that Elke’s grandfather was Russian. And it’ll be a happy ending and everyone will cheer them on, and Elke will get the credit for making him into a new man. And when the women from his past come out, he can say, I’m not that guy anymore. Gunter nods. I had hoped Elke would choose someone else. It is of God, Gunter. You Calvinists and your external locus of control. 

Now what of you and Alexandra Arapov? We’re at an impasse. She wishes us to elope, while I’d like to get her parent’s blessing, but I’m not welcome at their house. What does Elke say? She’s planning a trap. She’s going to ask Pavel Arapov to give her away at the altar, and that way he won’t be able to avoid me at her wedding. It’s too transparent, Gunter says dismissively. And the Chevalier Kolanich? Kola says I risk too much by asking for his consent. If he says no, then Alexa has to cut me off. What does Kola see happening? Alexandra rejects him publically, and then we elope. He gets engaged to Elke. And Alexa reconciles with her parents at Elke’s wedding, and they acknowledge me. Gunter steeples his hands, and considers this course of action. 

What are your thoughts, Gunter? Ask her father’s consent if you wish to have a happy wife. Finn looks down at the wood floor and nods. My counsel would be to make it known to Elke and Kola that you will not elope with Alexa, and you wish them to arrange an interview with her father, where you will ask his consent, with the understanding that if he says no, then your courtship of his daughter is over. 

How do you see that playing out? I believe that I will be traveling to BA for your wedding. Finn looks at Gunter skeptically. Grigor, by acting honorably, you show tremendous respect for him and demonstrate the depth of your love for his daughter – you will not separate her from her parents, even if that means you have to walk away.

What should I do next? I’m uncertain of how to proceed. 

Stay in faith. What were you doing when you first met Alexa? Working as a masseur. Return to BA and remain until Elke and Kola join hands. And if her father will not allow you to speak to him, and her parents do not come to Elke’s wedding, then you’ll know that they will never consent. And you then act accordingly, and elope with Alexandra, if that is still her desire. She’ll know that you were willing to abide by her father’s decision, and she’ll cut off her parents for the disrespect they’ve shown to her husband, who acted honorably. One more thing, do not argue your case in the media. Live quietly, out of the headlines. 

Thank you, counselor. It’s going to be difficult to do the latter. But perhaps something good can come from it. Would you be willing to get a cup of coffee with me at a sidewalk café. It’ll give the press something to photograph. 

Gunter grins. Grigor, you have no idea the business that’s come in since it’s now known that I’m Elke’s attorney. To be seen conferring with the renown FinnDune would create a line at my door. Good, and I’ll tell you the story of my Antarctic journey.

The two men walk out the door of the law firm, and photographers take pictures, as they stroll down the sidewalk. Finn in his rag wool sweater, British fatigue pants, and Keen hiking boots; his attorney in his dark green plaid suit, and matching traditional Swiss hat, with a feather in it. 

Why are you dressed in army pants? Gunter asks Finn as they walk, the photographers following them at a distance. Alexa says that her dad wants her to marry a soldier. So she wants me to hang out with my mates back in Britain for awhile, and get my picture taken, doing guy stuff. And my time in the Paras is known now. So why not? How did you dress when you were courting Alexa? Sandals and chinos. So she’s never seen you in a suit? He shakes his head no. You should do something about that. 

So what does your social calendar look like? Elke is handling that for me. Your instructions? No public appearances. The queen called and actually scolded her for what she did, and wants to knight me. Are you going to accept? Elke told her that I was in Switzerland on personal business, and that she would call her back when that is concluded. Her soccer team wishes to carry me on their shoulders to sit with their beloved Elke. And the casino magnate is trying to get her to come back to Las Vegas for a week, so FinnDune and his lovely assistant can do another show. Gunter laughs. What will you do? I’ll reconnect with the guys on my fire team, and see my adoptive family while I’m back in London. The knighthood? Too public. You should do dinner with the royals though. It would be a good occasion for you and Alexa to be seen together, and it will impress her parents. Finn nods. I’ll talk to Elke. 

A couple of tourists approach Finn for an autograph. Gunter looks at them sternly. We are having a private conversation, he says in accented English. Guten Tag. Finn reaches out and squeezes the hands of the American couple briefly, before he continues on. Does that happen often? Actually, that’s a first. Most just want to see my eyes. I’ve had people snatch off my glass. What did you do? I pretended that the light hurt my eyes. And they give them back, and apologize. They think that I’m a vampire, and that I’ll start smoking and turn into ash in front of them. I’ve also been tested with garlic, mirrors, silver, and had ‘holy water’ thrown in my face. Gunter laughs and shakes his head. Should I make a statement? After I leave, it might help.

***

 _Gunter calls a press conference_ :

My client Grigor Finnegan von Julin is a family friend. I went to law school with his grandfather. I’ve known him all my life, and helped arrange his adoption by the Touchett family. 

Finn, as he wishes to be called, is having difficulty adjusting to being in the spotlight. Even though he was raised in Britain, he is by temperament a Finn, and tends to be taciturn. And I call this conference to ask you to respect his person. I was dismayed to hear how some people have treated him. His dark glasses have been snatched away from him on a train. He was splashed with holy water while attending a church service. A meal with friends at a restaurant was laced with garlic. He is not a vampire, a werewolf, or an extra-terrestrial; these are mythical creatures. He fears that someone will shoot him with a silver bullet, and he has a lot to live for…I’m sure you’ve all seen Alexandra, Gunter says grinning, and the reporters laugh. 

His eyes are unique; it is true. It is a rare medical condition - one which did not disqualify him from serving in the British military and doing his duty as a soldier. He has seen hardship and war. Now let him enjoy the fruits of peace. 

My client does not wish to be called FinnDune. That was his stage name, and he told me that his career in magic ended the moment he witnessed an actual miracle, and Elke returned to life. He enjoyed performing illusions and sleight of hand, and bringing wonder to his audience, but he explained to me that he can no longer do this. That the uninformed would think his act real, and that he fears that people would treat him as a faith healer instead of a performer. 

Finn does not wish to bless strangers. He is not a holy man, as those who have known him will attest. Although he is a devout Christian of deep Biblical piety. 

Nor does he wish to give autographs or pose for pictures. It is common for foreigners to mistake our ritual politeness for an invitation to familiarity. In Europe, we say hello and goodbye to complete strangers who sit next to us on a train. It is how we were raised. But to go beyond this is improper. Finn does not wish to give offense, but realizes that his reserve may be misconstrued as dislike. He would not have it so. 

We all rejoice that Elke is returned to health. My client has told me the story, and all I can say is that this is entirely of God. Miracles happen, and Finn was fortunate enough to witness one. He now only wishes to lead a quiet life and to earn his bread by working with his hands. That is all I have to say. I will not take questions. Good day. 

***

I was in Las Vegas, performing with Elke as FinnDune the magician. It is an interesting trade, bringing wonder back into people’s lives. I’ve been a soldier all my life, but what to do in between the wars? Pehr went into Swiss banking and founded his re-insurance company after the war. Kola forged a business empire: first in Germany, then across Europe, and now in Russia. And our other friend chooses to spend his days in contemplation at Mount Athos. I’ve long wanted to meet him, Gunter confesses. Kola told me that it was he who persuaded Hitler to take the island under his protection during the War, and to attack the Soviets. Yes, Klaus does tend to mesmerize. 

As you know, I chose to go back to school and forge a new identity so I could be a contemporary of Elke. And she chose her path as a model, and has done well, but has had trouble finding quality friends who will be in her life for more than one season, as we have previously discussed. 

I meet Alexandra in BA, at her parent’s mansion on a house call as a masseur. I was doing an amateur magic show on the side, which she had seen. She does not approve of me being a masseur, but she likes that I’m a magician. We hit it off, and her parents approve of me, and we begin courting. I’m considering showing her my eyes and revealing my identity, as a way to encourage her to become a Christian, so I can marry her. Kola must have been keeping tabs on me, and he shows up unexpectedly when I’m dining with Alexa and is understandably upset that I’m dating a godless Arapov. I tell him why I’m attracted to Alexa: that she is spirited, intelligent, of good character, and devoted to her parents. And that it is time for us to put down the sword and take wives. We’ve outlived our nemesis, the Soviets. He then asks her if she is a godless woman, and she says that she’s an agnostic, and still searching. This does it for him. He will not allow his friend to marry a godless woman. And he tells Alexa that I killed her brother. Obviously, this puts me in an untenable position. I get Kola to leave us by telling him to take Elke as a wife, that she is saving herself for him. And then I take off my glasses and tell Alexa that she’s now met two men who came down from that mountain. I’d told her and her parents the story of my great grandfather and the expedition to find the Ark of Noah when we first met. And she is stunned. And I leave quickly. 

Kola stopped by my room at the club while I was packing up my belongings. He is very upset that I suggested that he should marry Elke. I’m going to Switzerland to see her. Come with me. I’ll have one of my planes bring you there, while I finish up some business here. Give the man space for repentance, Kola. If he comes after me, then I’ll end him. You’ve gone soft since the fall of the Soviet empire, he tells me. This is the last account that needs to be settled. Lissie’s blood cries out. My sister, my call, I tell him. She was my fiancé. We’ve already had this discussion.

Perhaps I will marry this godless woman. I see it now, what you had planned. I underestimated you, Gri. The enjoyment of watching your enemy grow old, with no male heir, and succumbing to the ravages of time and disease. When would you have told him? Perhaps on his daughter’s wedding day, and let him wrestle with whether to tell her. Oh, this is an exquisite torture you had planned! To know that his beloved daughter was now yours, as would be all his accumulated wealth. And for him to fear and loathe you, the man who killed his son. And yet not wish to jeopardize his daughter’s happiness. Such a dilemma. You must allow me to proceed, and court her. She will never have you now, I’ve seen to that. 

I told him that he may court Alexandra if he treats her with the same respect as he did my sister. And this stuns him, and he sits down on the bed, and puts his face in his hands. I have wronged you. Please forgive me. And he thinks for awhile. I will make this right. Do not lose hope. She will be yours. 

It’s done, I tell him. Let’s go see Elke. It will be a balm to see you two join hands. Elke needs to move on. You will tell her I said this. I think that is a conversation you two need to have in person. You think I cannot say no to her. And he gets angry when I grin. I’ll take you to the airport.

I let Elke know I’m coming, and find her on some ski hill, just having wrapped a commercial. She’s sad, because she hasn’t been able to make any quality friends. I tell her it’s one in a thousand, and to keep looking. But she wants to meet Alexandra. And tells her agent to find something in Buenos Aires; maybe a fashion show, or a new launch. I tell her about Alexa, and how she likes that I’m a magician. And my idea for winning her back. Headlining in Vegas. Would she help me? And she’s just overjoyed that I’d ask. Finally, you let me do something for you. 

So the Vegas act is going according to plan, and Arapov sends his head of security to check me out. And the man wishes to meet me, but I decline. Figuring that he’ll bring back a full report to Alexa. I’ve got the show scheduled for one week, with an option to extend day by day thereafter. And it’s bringing in hordes of traffic to the casino. I’m ready to pull the plug, and Elke is planning to head down to BA. The casino magnate meets with me, and I agree that I’ll stay on if he gets me Alexandra as an assistant. He calls her and leaves a message, and pays for Elke to go down there, on an expense account. 

And I get a vision. On the Ark, I saw Adam and Eve being driven out of the Garden of Eden. In Vegas, I saw how to get there. It was a long trek. I skied to the water, then kayaked to the ice caves. Then hiked through the maze of the caverns. And emerged at the south entrance to the garden. It would seem that only the east entrance is guarded. 

I ate of the fruit of many trees and vines, and fell into a deep sleep. I awoke and an angel was standing at a distance, watching me. I got up and went toward the spring. More and more angels appeared. I came into a glade, and see the tree of life. And walk through a gauntlet of angels, toward it. One steps out in front of the tree and draws a flaming sword. I stop at the spring, and drink deeply. And I gave thanks for the strength that returned to me. And I said a prayer, that this vial of water might bring Alexandra and I together, and then I left the way I came. 

I went back out into the cold. And headed north. Until I came to that glacier. And I decided to die as I had lived, climbing. And when my hands got too cold, I knew that I would plummet to my death. But I would not drink the waters of healing, that was my gift to Alexandra. 

And the helicopter saw me. And I knew that it would work out. And I was so happy as I finished my climb. And I found the men that night in their tent. And drank of their water, and ate of their provisions. And listened as they told me that Elke was in a coma, and on life support. That she had written Alexandra a suicide letter and taken a bottle of sleeping pills after Kola rejected her. 

And I knew then why I was given the vision. And I accepted it. And I went as quickly as possible to her bedside. I took an eyedropper and put some in her mouth. Then I unplugged her life support and prayed. And she came back. And I slowly gave her the rest of the vial. And she woke up. Then Kola came in and she was so happy to see him. And then I passed out, and when I awoke, Alexa was there beside me, holding my hand. And she told me that she loved me, and kissed me. 

Now things have gotten complicated. Elke is living with Alexa at her parent’s, and they go everywhere together, and are best friends, and Elke is instructing her in the faith. Kola is pretending to be in love with Alexa, and is probably the most hated man in Argentina, as he flatters Elke and demeans Alexa. Her parents just love him, and think that he is the funniest guy. Her mother actually wants her to marry him. Elke knows about Kola’s womanizing past, and just asks that he remain silent. Alexa is being pursued by handsome soccer players. I am not welcome in her parent’s house. They’ve told her that they accept her feelings for me, and that she should elope, but if she does, she will become a stranger to them. I cannot perform magic, as people will expect to see a miracle worker and a faith healer. I cannot go back to being a masseur, without the press camping out and hounding me and driving away all my clients. The wars are fought by drones now, and they would have me be a village policeman overseas. The elite warfighters now are essentially marionettes, and wear helmets with cameras on them, and call in airstrikes and lase targets. My days as a soldier have ended; I’m obsolete, a relic of past wars. And I’m ready to marry Alexandra, and begin a life together. But getting from here to there… 


	11. The Handoff

The Daily Mirror: Cover inset

FinnDune in London! _A picture of Finn wearing his ugly sunglasses and fatigue pants, walking a pug in a park._

He has such style, the famous musician thinks to himself. I have to meet him. He flips to the inside article. 

_FinnDune, the reclusive magician, is staying at the Hampstead townhouse of his adoptive family, the Touchett’s. His close friend and magician’s apprentice, Elke Summer, whom he brought back from out of her coma, continues to remain in Buenos Aires. It is speculated that FinnDune has left Buenos Aires to clear the way for his friend, the self-styled “Chevalier Ivan Kolanich” to pursue Alexandra Arapov, the Russian beauty who is now Elke’s best friend._

_This separation was said to be the fault of Alexandra’s parents, who favor the suit of the handsome and rich Ivan over the poor and plain Finn. But the headstrong and hot-tempered Alexandra may be coming after FinnDune._

_A source in the diplomatic service has learned that Elke and Alexandra have applied for visas to visit the UK, and recently attended a reception at the British embassy to practice their English._

_The queen is said to be upset with the even more lovely Elke, who in her role as spokesperson for FinnDune, turned down the offer of knighthood, and declined to stage a magic show at Windsor Castle._

The London Times headline: DARING DAYLIGHT RAID.

The quiet streets of Hampstead were interrupted by a motorcade of the British Paratroop regiment, which pulled up to the Touchett residence, and troops stormed the house, and carried out a hooded Finndune, and rushed him into the waiting panel van. 

A spokesman for the Paras, wearing the ubiquitous maroon beret, speaks at the gate of the military base:

_This rogue was living in plain sight, in luxury, with a DOG. We got him back. And we’re holding him for ransom until Elke and Alexandra come to Credenhill to get him. We’re very proud of this lad. He’s one of us. But he’s gone soft, and we’ll be training him hard, getting him back into fighting trim._

_Where is he now? Finn is on a training exercise with a mountain troop at an undisclosed location._

**Norway**

Special Forces units from several NATO countries compete in a winter operation to see who can make it to the objective first, without being spotted by the Opposition Forces, who patrol the area. Finn is attached to his old fireteam, and the five men ski and traverse the mountains through the night, with Finn leading. They are the first to lase the target. The other teams come in several hours later, complaining about the whiteout conditions, the windchill, and the subzero temperatures. They see the British flag on top of the briefing board, and murmur.

The NATO officer gives a brief speech. I want to commend each of the teams. All completed the mission. None were compromised. No medical injuries. This speaks to the professionalism of your respective units. Let’s evaluate the routes taken after the low altitude drop. And each team explains the thinking behind their route selection.

Now the lead team, the Airedales, chose to go up and over the mountain instead of around. Quite ballsy considering the blizzard conditions. And your speed on the ski portion was incredible. We couldn’t set up the Op-For fast enough to block you. Any takeaways for the rest of us? We got our old team leader back, one of the SAS men says grinning. One of the German jagers asks Finn if he brought along his dog. And everyone laughs. Thoughts for us, Finn? It’s a privilege to be here, a dream come true. I’m just a former Para who saw a little bit of action in Afghanistan. My grandfather fought in the winter war on skis, so I’ll pass on some of his lore, for what it’s worth. 

The key to winter operations is taking saunas after patrols. The men laugh. You’ve all heard the saying travel light, freeze at night. The men nod. Travel light by caching your supplies on an extended patrol. My grandfather believed that ten kilos was the maximum load for a skier to carry and still be combat effective. Chances are that you are going to go out the way you came in. I know that is anathema, but we are talking mountain operations. Obviously, that is not advisable in normal terrain. Hard to freeze at night if you’re on the move. Take breaks for tea. It is amazing how a hot beverage can revive the spirits.

Is that what you did in Antarctica? No. But I’m here to tell you that I’d rather pack a combat load than drag around a kayak. Where did you go? Well, when you start to see trees, you’ll know you’re there, Finn quips in German, and half of the group laughs, and the Germans translate what he said into English for the others. To answer your question, I went to the ice caves. Will you take us? The Italians ask. That season is past; they’re frozen in for most of the year. I’d like to trek the canyons of Utah in the American Southwest next. Elke learned English by reading Zane Grey Westerns, and she wishes to find a hidden canyon, with a spring, like in Riders of the Purple Sage. The Delta Force guys look at each other, and try unsuccessfully to stifle a laugh. Why is this funny? The giant on the Polish team asks. I will go with you. Here is my card. Thank you. 

The NATO officer shakes his head.

Any other mission specific comments, Finn? Noise discipline. My grandfather was draconian about this. Make a noise on one of his patrols, and you’d get a rifle butt in the back of the head, and wake up in the woods with a concussion, to fend for yourself, and make your way back to our lines. War is a serious business. In a whiteout when you’re skiing or climbing with your mates, you’re roped together, so you better practice the signals beforehand. 

What I’d give to hear his stories, one of the Germans says. You would have liked him. He joined the Leibstandarte and fought the Soviets on the Eastern Front. What happened to him? Old soldiers never die, they just fade away. Finn responds. Where is that from? MacArthur’s farewell. 

Why did you leave the Paras, Finn? 

I’m not a large man, and it was very burdensome to carry a fighting kit that weighed half of me. It took a toll on my body. I liked Afghanistan, and would have stayed longer if MoD had let me extend my deployment. It is a source of great pride that my mates went on to SAS selection and achieved that elite distinction. I thank you all for allowing me the privilege of training with you. 

Alright, we’re done here. The NATO officer says. Take the celebrity out for some beers. You’ve all earned them. Finn, you weren’t ever here. He nods. 

*** 

Finn looks out of place as he sits with bearded men in a private room in the back of a local pub. Everyone comes over to say hello to the quiet man. Some give him challenge coins, others give him their cards. Come train with us, they all invite him, and chat him up. The Delta Force guys promise an unlimited budget. Name your price as a consultant. Bloody Yanks, one of the men on Finn’s fire team mutters. And the Delta guys take offense, and a row starts to ensue.

Quite so, old stick, one of the Delta guys mocks in a British accent. Hillbilly, one of the British guys responds. Let’s do this. Our champion against yours. That’s him, they nod to Finn. The Delta giant laughs. No offense, Finn, I know you’re as tough as they come, but hand to hand? I’ve got a 100lbs on you, and a foot of reach. It wouldn’t be right. Fifty euro says he takes you. The SAS man says. Are you up for it? Finn shrugs. I’ve been fighting my whole life. First rule, never fight fair. And he throws his beer in the man’s face, and the soldiers gather around and cheer, as Finn gets up from the table and stretches. When a voice in Russian calls out. Halt, and the men look over as Kola comes into the room. Private party, suit. A German jager says in Russian and steps in front of him, and is spun around and put in an arm lock. 

Spetznas say hello to NATO, he says in accented English, and he shoves the man into some others. Gri is the best man with a knife in any room – pointing at Finn, but Kola is the toughest. And he goes over and hugs Finn, as the others stare at them. 

Please let me take him, Gri. He says in Russian. He’s wearing my beer, Finn says in protest, and I’ve got to pay for that. The Germans and the Poles laugh, and translate for the others. I’ll buy you another after I finish off pretty boy here, the Delta man says grinning. It’s my fight, Finn protests. You’ve never won a barfight yet, why do you persist? How else am I supposed to improve? 

Gather around, children, and witness the Russian bear take on all comers. And he takes off his topcoat. Let him see who he’s fighting, Kola. These men are our warrior brothers; they will lead the fight against the Islamist scourge. Give them respect. Respect is earned, not given. Kola replies, and then hands Finn his glasses, and smiles at his opponent. Who suddenly feels a chill, as do all the men who look at Kola. What the hell? A French chasseur whispers to a counterpart. Come on peasant, let’s see your Krav Maga. Isn’t that what’s the rage these days? The Delta man looks at Finn. Take him seriously or he will kill you with his bare hands. Systema, what Vega units learn, is his brainchild. The men look at each other. Typical American - not able to throw the first punch. And Kola hits him, and the man feels his arm go numb. He moves to take out Kola with an elbow strike, and is abruptly choked out. Who’s next? Kola asks, as he gets up off the floor. One of Finn’s SAS men steps forward. I know who you are, the Chevalier Ivan Kolanich. You’re the bastard who is trying to steal my mate’s girl. I’ll take my shot, Ruskie. Alright, Rupert. I ain’t no bloody Rupert; I works for a living. The other men grin. Do you feel the pit of your stomach clench when I look at you? The man nods. How’s your breathing? It’s there. Did you see my man look in the door just now? He shakes his head no. Target fixation. You’re dead. You need to keep your situational awareness. How do I do that? You were in Afghanistan with Finn? The man shakes his head no. Pay to learn then. And Kola clenches with him and brutally knees him repeatedly. Then kicks his feet out from under him. The SAS man stays down. You’re next Poland. Not him, Finn says in German. He’s going to Utah with me to scout out a ranch for Elke. 

Kola looks around. Kola is the toughest man in any room, he says once more. No one challenges him. You’re in my seat, he tells the SAS man sitting next to Finn. Find another chair, and bring my friend his beer. Someone brings Kola a beer too. 

How did you get eyes like that, Spetsnaz? One of the French commandos asks. It used to be that alpinist units would wear an Edelweiss flower. You had to climb up high to get them. 

To get eyes like ours, you have to climb up the northeast slope of Mt. Ararat, and see the Ark of Noah. 

When did you do this? Late in the summer of 1916. The men stare at Kola incredulously, and Finn takes off his glasses, and puts them on the table, and looks at the men, who are shocked.

The time has come to pass the torch. We are about to put down the sword and take wives. We have fought the Soviets our entire lives. You will be defending Western Civilization against the Islamist scourge. You will fail if you do not believe in the truth of the Holy Scriptures. 

Gri has trained and fought with men just like you all of his life. You wonder how you rate. You’re bigger and stronger, but not as tough – life was harder then. All the rigor of your selection courses cannot make up for that. You think you’ve experienced war because some illiterate goatherder emptied an AK in your direction. Try being bracketed by an artillery barrage or charged by a tank column. 

Warriors, I will tell you about the blessing and the curse that came upon four Russian officers in 1916. 

I’m over a hundred years old. Gri is five years younger. Yet you’d think that I was 27 and he was 22, until you see our eyes. The curse is to be the oldest man in any room. To watch your friends die. Their children die. Their grandchildren die. And remain unchanged. I’ve fought in many wars, and battle isn’t the most horrible thing you men will see. It’s the refugees. Their faces are what sticks with you. Finn nods in agreement at this. 

We’ve filled cemeteries with the men we’ve personally killed. Gri is the best man with a knife, period. Sentry stalking is his specialty. He’s a superb small unit tactician. Give him a mission, and he’ll get it done. But he will not delegate. He has to be at the tip of the spear. When he joined the French Foreign Legion after WWII, he found that he preferred fighting as an NCO, and has fought as such from then on. He has been through the basic and advanced training of several modern armies. Which was the best? Someone asks. Kola glares at him. 

Questions tend to lead to more questions, Finn says. Kola is an officer of the old school. He is not an egalitarian. In his unit, his sergeant would knock you to the ground for interrupting him. He is not used to the fraternization between junior officers and senior enlisted men in your elite units. The men nod. But feel free to ask me questions after he tells you our story. I meant what I said earlier, when I told you that it was a privilege to train with you men. You carry the future with you. Much of our warfighting experience is now irrelevant. Finn motions for Kola to continue. 

We have not aged physically since the late summer of 1916. That is the blessing. To be strong and healthy. I was considered tall for my generation, Finn was of average height. Now he is considered short, and I am the same height as my Elke. 

All four of us were officers in the Czar’s army in 1916, and of the highest nobility. I was infantry; Gri was cavalry; Klaus was an engineer; and Pehr was staff. 

Gri and I were recalled from the front lines to the capital, and given a special assignment. We were to mount an expedition to document the Ark of Noah. 

Now back on the Turkish front, a Russian warplane was flying at high altitudes over Mt. Ararat…

And we followed Gri up that slippery slope. Like most Russians of my day, I was raised in the Orthodox faith, and was observant. But I’d seen too much death on the battlefields, and that made me a fatalist. But orders are orders, and I was nobility, and I had told my czar that I would not fail him. 

We see the huge ark sticking out of the ice, literally as big as an air craft carrier. But there is a lake beneath it of melted ice. So we must climb up and over. Finn did the hard work of leading the way. We just follow what he does. I am tired and cold, and do not like the way the sky is changing. 

The storm broke as we rappelled down to the Ark, and Finn was the first on. He tested the surface, and it was still solid. We had suspected that he would break through. And it is sleet and snow as the rest of us make our way down. And we seek shelter inside. We climbed in through a portal to get out of the storm. We have no torch, and it is dark inside. 

Klaus says, come, let us worship and bow down, and kneel before the Lord our God our Maker. And we join arms and do this. And each of us gets a vision in the darkness. 

Mine is of the renown Hebrew warriors of old, who conquered Canaan with spear and sword, and slay giants. Their eyes are like mine. Their captain sees me and grins, and I grin back at him. And then I pass out. In my eyes you see the light of battle, and no man is able to stand before me. 

Finn awakens us, and tells us that it is time to leave the Ark. And we can see his eyes in the dark, and he leads us down off that holy mountain. 

Finn makes a time out gesture and puts his glasses back on. Go relieve yourselves and get some more beer. The story is just beginning. If you go outside, my men will not let you back in. Do not test them. 

_When everyone is gathered back together, Kola continues the story_ : 

I’m sure Gri has already told you that you must cache supplies, and that the way in is usually the way out in alpine operations. We had done this, and we gathered our weapons and enjoyed a meal together and the warmth of a fire. And we told each other of our eyes; blue, green, brown, and grey. And of the visions we had seen. 

Pehr had seen the Revolution and its aftermath, his vision ending with the red flag of Bolsheviks, the hammer and sickle ascendant. And we discuss what we should do next. Pehr tells us that he saw the Germans giving bags of gold to the Bolsheviks. A peace treaty being signed. The Czar and his family executed, and the railstations full of blood as the Red Terror is unleashed, and the aristocrats flee. I was given this vision as a warning. We need to tell our friends, safeguard our families, and look after our own interests. Russia will be no more. We must forge new lives elsewhere. 

I do not like this, and protest this course of action. We are soldiers and nobility. We serve our leader as long as he is alive. We’ve been given orders. We were given these visions as we implemented our orders. Now we must return and make a full report. It is not for us to decide what to do. 

Pehr responds that the Czar is a simpleton who is guided by his wife, who was under the influence of Rasputin. His male child is weak and sickly, as is the Romanov dynasty; it almost toppled in 1905. 

Klaus thinks about this, and tells us that many prophecies in the Old Testament were conditional. Perhaps your vision is what will happen if we do nothing, and look to our own. It may be preventable, Pehr. What is your sense of this? These things will happen. I saw them play out. 

And all of us look to Finn to make the decision. After he killed that giant conscript with his knife, he became our leader. But he finds it unseemly for a junior officer to put himself forward, and we always have to pry out of him his thoughts. And he talks even less then, Kola says with a smile. There is a life lesson there. We become like those we associate with. Finn nods at this. I have been fortunate to have a friend who sticks closer than a brother. And I have become like him, and he has become like Pehr. Although Klaus is as he ever was. Finn laughs at this, and his face lights up, and the other men grin and the mood of the whole room lifts. 

I’ll take first watch as you men rest, he tells us eventually. He doesn’t wake us up, and we are upset at this when we arise early the next morning. I can see in the dark, he tells us. It is better that I keep the night watches. I have prayed. I think we need to rest and get our strength back; we will need it for whatever course we decide to take. And he goes to sleep, and we do not wake him up as he sleeps till midnight. Did you have another vision, Pehr? he asks when he awakens. Who shakes his head no. Finn eats, and then he falls asleep again. He was utterly exhausted. When he gets up the second time, it is near dark. Close your eyes and visualize base camp as you fall asleep, Finn tells Pehr. 

And Pehr and Finn wake us up in the middle of the night, and Pehr tells us his vision. 

Base camp is deserted but for the cook, and he’s got a German pistol under his apron. There are two rifleman set up above camp. One is smoking, the other is using field glasses, and looking up the mountain. They’re waiting for us. 

So we head off down the mountain, now rested and recovered from our exertions. As we go down the trail, Klaus tells us what happened in various spots. They killed the officers here and threw them down that crevasse. He is able to see the past. The photographer is the ringleader, he tells us. 

The next day we are near base camp and I formulate a plan. Finn will take out the two riflemen at night with his knife. I will capture the cook at daybreak, when he goes to relieve himself. Klaus and Pehr will cover me in case company comes. 

It didn’t go as planned. Finn killed the cook too, that night. Finn shrugs as the men look at him. Klaus walked around the cook’s tent and told us that the cake was poisoned, but everything else was okay. Help me bury these men. They are bushwhacking scum. Let the carrion birds devour them, I insist. We bury our dead because they bear the image of god, he tells me patiently. He is the most devout of us. He lives on Mount Athos now. 

So we bury them. Finn does not help, but he does not object either, and watches the trail with a rifle. 

He sets a tripwire on the trail, so we can all talk around the campfire that night. I think the vision Pehr had on the Ark is settled, and we need to plan accordingly. Finn tells us. But Kolanich is right in that we have a duty as soldiers. I plan on returning to the fight, and rejoining my Hussars, once I have reported to the Czar. Do any of you wish to be mentioned in the report, or do you wish it to be known that you died in the mutiny? 

How will you explain your eyes? Pehr asks him. Snow blindness. I will tell the Czar that I have seen the Ark with my own eyes, and draw him a map of our route, and sketch a picture of the Ark sticking out of the ice. Beyond this, I will hold my tongue. He has been judged and found wanting.

Most of our wealth is in our landed estates, he tells us. So it will likely be lost in the aftermath. So will our titles. My family has lands in Finland, and our estate there is rustic, but entirely serviceable. I would have you travel there with me to make provision for your family and friends. We will need to hide our eyes behind colored glasses, so we do not draw attention. 

And I think that is as much as I wish to tell tonight. You may direct your questions to Finn. One question per man. 

What happened to the other two men? Pehr is dead. Klaus lives in a hermitage. 

What was the best unit you ever fought with? Whichever unit I was in at the time, Finn says quietly. But the Leibstandarte had the highest standards. I did not meet them, but since I was a hero of Finland during the Winter War, they allowed me to fight with them. You were a Nazi? No. I was a Finnish soldier, fighting against his hated enemy, the Soviets, with the permission of my government; officially, I was an observer. I am not an anti-Semite. Years later, I fought in the Yom Kippur war as an Israeli paratrooper.

Have you been wounded or injured? Many times. When your body is in good condition, you heal faster. 

Who was the best of the enemies you’ve fought? The Germans of the Great War. Kola nods at this.

What is your favorite battle rifle? The FAL. I prefer a heavier bullet for suppressive fire. We do this in Rhodesian Bush war with great effect. 

Have you ever been back to see the Ark? No. Would you redo your SEAL selection course? The man shakes his head no, and says, I’ve already proven myself. 

How did you bring back Elke? I reject your premise. But suffice it to say that my prayers were graciously answered. 

Why did you become a masseuse? A man needs to have something to do between the wars. Pehr became a banker. Klaus became a police detective. And Kola became an industrialist. I wished to become a healer. I’ve been a doctor, then a chiropractor, then I read an article in Readers Digest about a masseuse who saved many lives during the Holocaust. I tracked him down, and became his student. 

How long have you been a magician? It’s been a hobby of mine since I saw Houdini when I was a boy. I seek out skilled illusionists, and the ones who do not wish to exhibit me after seeing my eyes, became my mentors. I practice performing in orphanages over the years. It brings me much joy to see wonder in the face of a child. Buenos Aires was my first appearance for the general public. And it was there Alexandra first saw me. Finn grins. She was on a date with another man. Kola laughs heartily at this. See - he has become like me. And the men join in chuckling. 

Why don’t you elope with Alexandra? I do not wish her to be estranged from her parents. It is my hope that her father will eventually grant me an interview, with the understanding that I will abide by his decision, whatever it may be. Kola steeples his fingers and puts them up to this mouth, sighs, and closes his eyes briefly. All the men look at him. He motions with a hand for the next man to continue, and then resumes his pose, deep in thought. 

What does Klaus do on Mt. Athos? He breaks rocks, tends a garden, and memorizes Scripture. 

Does he accept visitors at his hermitage? Kola gives Finn a look, puts his sunglasses back on, and speaks. Klaus is the most dangerous man on the face of the earth; he will sift you like wheat. Finn looks at the questioner. He is also the meekest man, and would help a fellow pilgrim.

The last question is yours, Hillbilly. The men laugh. What was the vision you saw on the Ark? That is not for you to know. Ask a different question. The Utah trip, can I get in on that? 


	12. The Royals

**Teatro Colon** (BA Operahouse)

The press surrounds Kola, who is wearing a Circassian uniform to the outing, with Elke and Alexa on his arms, following behind Pavel and Anna. 

Have you been following the news in London, about Finn’s so-called capture by the British Paras? Kola shrugs. It makes sense. Where else can he drink with men over there? The Londonites who aren’t Muslims are Hindus now, without a Hindu god. A pox on both their houses. Pavel starts laughing hilariously, and his wife gives Kola a reproving look that says you’re a bad influence on my husband, and then takes his arm and they go inside. 

I’ll kiss you if you can shut up for one evening and not embarrass Elke and I, Alexa tells him. As if you could stop yourself, once you started. Why do you deny yourself? My plane is ready and waiting. That will never happen. Finn is my boyfriend. And he is my closest friend, Kola responds. But Alexandra, he is unsuitable. You know this and so does he, which is why he has returned to his adopted homeland and gone back to soldiering. He is the best man I know, and it speaks well of you that you are so devoted to him. But he lacks the approval of your most excellent parents. And he is poor, and works with his hands, like a commoner. What kind of life could he give you? Even the most beautiful and lovely Elke will tell you that my wealth is such that you would want for nothing. Elke whispers something in Alexa’s ear, and goes off to sit with her ‘parents’. Kola quickly catches up to her. I have offended you. Please, vision of sunrise, forgive me. And Elke pats his hand, and kisses his cheek, and continues on her way. Kola stares after her. Come on, let’s make my parents happy. Escort me, Kola. Finally you see the light; my plane is right this way. And she throws up her hands, and marches after Elke. 

Kola sidles up to the wine bar. The lights dim. I hate opera. I’d rather to go church, he tells a man next to him. I know what you mean. So why don’t you marry Elke? Noblesse oblige. Wrong ancestry: Swiss and French, and it may well be that she’s richer than I am. And he signals for some more booze. They’re going to outbreed us, if we don’t get busy. Who? The Muslim scourge. 

Her thinking makes no sense. I am rich, he is poor. I am handsome, he is plain. Her parents love me, they hate him. She wants to see you get together with Elke. We would be happy, I think, Elke and I, perhaps more so than Alexandra… But the time has come for desperate measures. I will instruct my men to use violence. Alexandra needs to be on my plane before she is able to see Finn in London.

The MI-6 agent writes all this down in his report, and sends an urgent cable to his boss, who forwards it on to his boss, who briefs the Prime Minister. A team is assigned to foil the kidnap attempt, by whatever means necessary. The FSB runs a counter-surveillance operation. A comedy of errors ensues, as the girls blithely go about their days; meanwhile Yuri notes the increase in traffic accidents and vehicle breakdowns on his route. 

**Ten days later:** dinner @ the Arapov Mansion

Elke and Alexa are still living at her parents. And a constant fixture at all the soccer team games, and invited to all the social galas. It’s a rare evening alone at home. 

Would it be alright if I go to London with Elke? What have you girls got planned? Well, we’ve got to go the army base and free Finn. Elke nods. The queen told her minister to put Finn through SAS selection until he’s willing to be knighted or until we come rescue him. She’s invited us all to a private dinner at Windsor Castle. Is he going to do a magic show for her? Only if he has a beautiful assistant. Elke and Alexa look at each other and start giggling. Mom, he wants you to help him put on the show for the queen, or it’s not happening. Please come with us. My place is at your father’s side, she says primly. Dad, Finn will get you inside the SAS shoothouse, live ammo – your weapon of choice. You know you want to. Will you both give him a chance? I’m glad to see you both happy, Pavel says, and hope that you have an enjoyable trip. Is Kola going with you? Elke shakes her head no. He hates the British. But you can do the shoothouse with Finn, I told him. He said that clearing buildings is what artillery is for. The man is a comedian, Pavel chuckles. Elke, you’ll take good care of my daughter. Her English is better than mine, so she’ll end up taking care of me. Vere ist die Badezimmer? Iz not so this. Alexa replies. And everyone laughs.

**A week later:**

So how is Finn? Yuri asks Alexa. He’s got his strength back; he’s been training with the mountain troops. Elke and I got to be hostages at the base. It was incredible. Boom. The doors to the room burst open, and all the terrorists are shredded with gunfire. Don’t mess with the SAS. What did the guys tell Finn? Try doing that with a Lee-Enfield, old-timer. What did he say? That it was time for him to head back to Civy Street. Those guys just worship Finn. 

How was the royal dinner? Finn only made wine disappear. Then I told him to pass me the salt. I put my napkin over it, and everyone looked at him. And he kissed my hand, and whispered to me that the salt had lost its savor. Then I yelled at the queen and the prime minister. 

***

Elke, you set a very bad example for young people, the queen states. Elke puts her head down. I know, she says softly. What do you have to say for yourself? I’m so grateful to be given a second chance. Her head stays down. And the queen frowns at her. Alright, let’s go there, Alexa says, and the table looks over at her in surprise. You’re scolding her for being a bad example, and giving your grandson a pass? Really? 

There’s an order of magnitude between sowing one’s wild oats, and taking one’s own life, Alexandra, the prime minister corrects her. I agree. The cascade effect is far worse with the former. Do you need me to spell that out for you? Why don’t you… 

Alexandra picks up an imaginary phone. Andrew? It’s me, Alexa. He grins, and puts his imaginary phone to his ear. Hey, girl. Andrew, I’m just calling to thank you for being there for me at Elke’s funeral last month. Getting wasted and going to a rave afterwards was just the ticket. He laughs and plays along. Yeah, it was so dope. Elke was such a babe. I know, right. That’s why I’m going to name our baby after her if it’s a girl. I’m late, she shrieks happily. He hangs up the phone, and frowns at her. Is my point taken? Alexa asks the prime minister. Whatever happens next, our lives are going to change. And you won’t be able to blame Elke, your Queenship. 

You impertinent girl. You’ve just described my worst nightmare. Play it out for my grandson. He needs to hear it, the queen tells Alexa. 

Worst case for you, Andrew, is that I’m a gold digger at heart. And you’re stuck paying me child support for eighteen years. And a girl like Elke won’t have anything to do with you when you do finally meet her. And little Andrew is just so cute and adorable that you actually do want to be his father. But you cannot stand me. I’m headstrong and impertinent, and I’ve got a horrible temper. And I’m a bad mother because I’m still a party girl at heart. And so you fight me for custody, but I’m not going away cheaply or quietly. 

But maybe I’m a social climber. And you know my dad is rich, and that I’m working on my master’s degree in political science. And I am way pretty, and exotic enough to be interesting. Your friends tell you that there is no way you could get a girl like me, and you know deep down, that they’re right, that I am so out of your league. So you decide to step up, and you take a deep breath, and commit yourself. Alexa, this wasn’t a casual hookup for me. I really like you. What do you say we go public? And you take me to meet the family. We could make it work, you and I. We’re both smart and ambitious, and we’d form a good team. Prince Andrew grins at her. 

But here’s what would really happen. You would keep on calling me constantly after Elke’s funeral. Alexa, I can’t stop thinking about you. Andrew, go away. I was so wasted. I don’t even remember going to the party with you. But we slept together. Ugh, don’t remind me; I’m such an idiot. And I hurt you really bad. Then I call you back a month later and drop the news. Look, Andrew, I’m not going to get an abortion. When I was in high school, I went with one of my girlfriends to the clinic. And I never forgot her screams, and how traumatized she was afterwards. That is not going to be me. I’ll give the kid up for adoption. White babies are so in demand. And you’ll say no way. And you’ll fly back down to BA, and talk to my father. Sir, I know this isn’t ideal. But I want to do the right thing, and take responsibility for my actions. And he’ll cook you a big steak dinner, and act like he’s pleased to have you as a son-in-law, but he’ll be heartbroken. And he’ll insist on me marrying you. But I don’t even like him, you’ll hear me yell, and see me run up to my room crying. And my mother will be so furious at me. How could you, Alexa? Elke would have never done such a thing; why can’t you be like her? You want me to kill myself? Really? That’s not what I meant, Alexa. Get out! I never want to see you again. And I’ll find you the next morning. Fine, I’ll marry you, but on one condition. We never come back here again. And are you strong enough to stand up to me, and check me? I really hope so, Andrew, I really hope so. He says nothing, and just looks down at the table. 

I think you and I would get along just fine, Alexandra, the queen tells me. Welcome to the family. 

Elke, I didn’t mean to imply that you were Bridget Jones; I know that you are a good girl. And I’ve always admired you. But what you did shocked me. And I cried when I read your letter to Alexandra. And I was so overjoyed when FinnDune somehow brought you back. 

Now tell me, why are you still holding out hope for that crazy Ivan? That guy is so cool, Prince Andrew interjects. The way he took down that soccer player is legend; he didn’t even break a sweat.

I love Kola, Elke states quietly. But it’s hopeless, Elke. The Chevalier Ivan Kolanich is so crazy about Alexa. And you’re not Russian. So why don’t you marry FinnDune? You two are obviously close. 

Andrew, I love Finn, Alexa tells him. And Kola isn’t who you think he is. Do you want to know why he didn’t come? He nods. He hates the British. I’ll tell you a story that will change your opinion of him. 

So my parents, Elke and I are at this get together at the British embassy in BA, and practicing up on our English, as we get ready to come over here. And Kola comes barging in with his entourage. And comes right up to me. I hear that you are going to London with the most lovely Elke, and he bows to her, and kisses her hand. Everyone bursts out laughing. There’s more, Alexa says. I do not approve of this; the days of the British Empire are numbered. And your ambassador asks him what he means by this. Some of us haven’t forgotten your perfidy during the Continuation War, he shouts. And the room goes dead silent. The only good thing to come out of the UK is the Scotch. And he calls for a toast. To Scotland, make it be free from the yoke of oppression. And my dad took him aside, and Kola starts giving my dad and everyone who will listen a history lesson about what happened at the end of World War I. And he got my father riled up too, and they found a bottle of scotch, and started pounding it down, doing toasts to the new Russia, and the health of the new Czar. I was so embarrassed. Then Elke, my mom, and I were having a pleasant conversation with your ambassador, when Kola and my father come over. Just smashed. And Kola tells my father loudly, we will crush them under the soles of our feet, and make them pay reparations for the seventy years of godless socialism that their perfidy led to. Is that so? Your ambassador says diplomatically. And Kola smashed his wine glass on the floor, and called your ambassador a faggot. If you were of nobility, I’d challenge you to a duel. How dare you even raise your eyes to my lady, let alone speak to her? Prince Andrew laughs hilariously. He sounds awesome. I’ve got to meet him. I’m flying back with you. Incorrigible, the queen mutters. How can you be friends with such a man? the prime minister asks Finn. I’ve long ago learned that with Kola, one should take him seriously, but not literally. Well said, Finn. He’s in love with Alexandra, and love makes fools of us all, the queen’s friend, the celebrity musician announces. 

Seriously, Finn, you don’t stand a chance. Everyone knows that Alexa’s parents loathe you for breaking up with her, and that they love him. And the only reason that Alexa won’t go out with him is because Elke will try to kill herself again. What? You’re all thinking it. Andrew, whatever happens, I’m not going to take my own life. Not when you’re single. And she grins at him, and everyone laughs. The queen pats her hand. FinnDune, no offense, but it’s like the Chevalier says, Andrew continues on. You’re plain and poor. Everyone knows that you two are friends, so don’t you think that you should step back and let him get her. He’s rich and handsome and so devoted to her. He’s willing to make a fool out of himself to show his devotion. What have you done for her? 

I walked through a gauntlet of angels to bring her back a sip of water, your Grace. The table goes utterly silent. 

I believe you, the duke of Edinburgh says. Will you tell us the story, Finn? When you say you believe me, what do you mean, your Grace? I believe you to be capable. I was young and in love once too, and he kisses his wife’s hand. 

I’ll give your Grace a choice. Would you rather see my eyes or see through my eyes? The latter, he says quickly. Very well. 

Your Majesty, her subject was performing in Las Vegas as FinnDune the magician. His dear friend Elke was assisting him, and drawing sell-out audiences who wished to see her in person. Thanks to her, the magic show was a smashing success, and the head of the casino came to FinnDune to see if he would continue the show, and handed him a blank check. The magician told him that Elke was irreplaceable, and that he could not perform magic without inspiration. Yes, Elke is sweet and lovely, but you can have any assistant you want. Oh really? 

Now previous to this encounter, FinnDune had left Buenos Aires in great turmoil, and went to see his dear friend Elke in Switzerland. And she says: you’re different; you’ve met someone. And of course, I had. So she interrogates me. Now the SAS would have no new recruits, if she were in charge of that phase of selection. Everyone laughs. She gets me to sit down, and starts giving me a neck rub. Who is she? It doesn’t matter anymore. Kola interfered. As you can tell, I’m quite adept at resisting interrogation. And everyone laughs some more. So we duel. And the prisoner ends up confessing. Hate to tell you this Finn, but he’s right. He, being Kola. Tough love. But I have to meet her. You’re leaving out the good parts, Finn – Elke teases him, and beams at Alexa. What’s this? I had him describe you. Elke, don’t you dare. Finn says, blushing beat red. Men are putty in my hands, Elke says to the table with a sigh. Fine, I’ll be quiet. Everyone grins at Elke. So FinnDune asks Elke for her help, and they journey together to Las Vegas. 

Now in the midst of all this, FinnDune was praying fervently for guidance. And he laid his desire for a wife and companion on the altar. So when he was handed the blank check, and then told that he could have any assistant he wanted, he took it as a sign, and wrote ‘Alexandra Arapov’ on it, and gave it back to the man. Everyone looks at him in awe. The man looked at the magician. Who is this? She inspired me when I was in Buenos Aires. Get her to be my assistant, and I’ll continue the show. Do you have her phone number? Of course, I have it memorized, and I give it to him. He calls her, and leaves a message. You’re going to be the assistant of FinnDune the magician. I’m flying you, your family, your friends on my private jet to Vegas this weekend to talk. Call me back and we’ll discuss it. 

Why don’t you have Elke pitch her? I ask. She’s going down there to cheer on her soccer team. So it’s all set up. Elke is flying down there on his private jet, with her very own expense account. Bring me back the game ball, signed by the team, the casino magnate tells her. I’m planning to go hiking in the Red Rocks, and see if I can find some climbs for Elke and I to do when she gets back. 

That night, in my hotel room, I’m granted a vision. Think of a film camera mounted on the nose of a helicopter. I see open water, the Great Ice Wall, a brilliant red sky and a point of land. Then the camera rushes inland over a rugged artic landscape. Then I see an ice flow, and the camera stops at a sea cave, and it’s just darkness inside. I rush over to Elke’s room and wake her up, and tell her what I saw. And of course, being quite the adventurer, she wishes to come with me. And I hold her head in my hands and close my eyes, and replay the vision. Did you see it? I ask her. She shakes her head no. Then this journey is not for you. And we say goodbye, and I leave immediately.

Finn, you’re leaving something out. Elke says. You may tell it, if you wish, liebchen. So Finn tells me that he only sees the way there, and might not be coming back. Will you do something for me, Elke, if I don’t return by the time the Antarctic Sea freezes in? And I’m crying like a little girl, and I don’t want him to go. He’s the only true friend that I’ve ever had, until I met Alexandra. I’d like you to stay with Alexandra at her parent’s house. Kola will find you there. What did he ask you to tell me? Alexa wonders. You never did say. And Elke makes a lips sealed gesture. He came back, so he gets to tell you himself, when the time is right. 

Your Majesty knows that I have been a soldier in her army. And a soldier is never happier than when he is on a mission. It does not matter that there is peril and danger, and the task is arduous. I do not look back as I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, my skis long ago having been abandoned. I do not look back because I know that goodness and mercy are following me. My provisions are gone, I haven’t slept in days, and yet I was the happiest man on earth as I kayaked into that cave. I’ve run my race with joy, and I’m looking forward to my eternal rest. Finn pauses. I dare not say more, he says softly. 

And the queen starts to applaud, and everyone joins in. That was the best story ever, FinnDune. I totally get why Alexa is choosing you over your friend, Prince Andrew says. Elke and Alexa grin at each other. Did the angels have wings? The prime minister asks. I’m not being facetious. I’d really like to know, sir. Just the one that stepped out with the flaming sword. He had six wings. Flaming sword, the famous blue musician mentions in an amused tone…was he naked? And he bursts out laughing, and Prince Andrew joins him. 

(This is where it gets really scary, Yuri.) 

Finn took off his glasses, and looked down at the table with his eyes closed. And everyone went dead silent. Do you wish to see what I saw, Pider? Put on my glasses. Oh, goody, the man says. And they get handed down the table. And the man puts them on. And just starts trembling uncontrollably, like he’s having a seizure. And the prince thinks that he’s making a joke, and starts laughing hilariously. But the queen’s consort snatches them off his face. And everyone can see that the man is utterly terrified. 

Help him, the queen shrieks. Elke yells, hurry up and give Finn back his glasses. And when he puts them back on, the man stops trembling and stares straight ahead, frozen stiff. 

Bring him back, the queen demands of Finn. Finn stands up and neck bows. Please excuse us for a moment. And he leads the shell shocked man into another room. 

Please tell me that’s just a magic trick, and the power of suggestion, the prime minister says nervously to Elke. And she tells us that it’s not wise to profane the sacred. And everyone goes silent until Finn and the musician return. The man is weeping, and Finn hugs him, and whispers something in his ear, and the man nods. Thank you, he says in a choked up voice. Your majesty, I am unwell, pray excuse me, and he bows and leaves. 

What did you do? The queen asks Finn, after he returns to his seat. He wished to see an angel with six wings. He has. But it would seem that the angel saw him too. And everyone is just gaping, with their mouths open, me included. I apologize for bringing up the subject at table. I only wished to let everyone know the depth of my devotion to my lady exceeds that of my friend. I love her more than life. And everyone is staring in awe at him. 

Let me see one, the young prince demands. Is it her Majesties wish that his Grace should spend his days in a skete on Mt. Athos? That is where Elton is heading right now. And the Queen shakes her head no emphatically. Then I must respectfully decline, your Grace, Finn says to the young prince. 

You are a true chevalier, and are a credit to your family and to this nation, the queen announces. The memory of meeting your Majesty and her kind words will echo down through generations of von Julins. Will you show us your eyes? the prime minister’s wife asks. And Finn looks at me, and I shake my head no. How about another magic trick, FinnDune? Prince Andrew asks. 

Perhaps a recital, with her Majesties permission. I’ve been reading up on the poet TS Eliot, and enjoy listening to him. Please do not think I mock, as I seek to mimic his tonality. And he recites this poem (Pt. 1 Ash Wednesday) which was so perfect and fitting and eerie. And everyone went utterly quiet after. It was better than magic, and everyone there knew it. 

Thank you for an evening to remember, the Queen tells Finn. Alexandra, for future reference, you presume too much, and the fiction of just two girls talking is only permitted at a private audience, but I thank you for trying to check my grandson. Elke, her Majesty wishes you to know that she loves you, and permits you to embrace her. Elke gets up and gives her a big hug, and we all see the queen give her a kiss on the cheek. 

_The next day, Prince Andrew is talking to his friends at Oxford:_

Elke is so hot. She told everyone that she wouldn’t try to kill herself again as long as I was single. His friends give him a look. She really did say that. You can call up Alexa. She said that we’re both smart and ambitious and that we’d make a good team. And the Queen said, welcome to the family, Alexandra. Andy, she’s completely out of your league – that’s what she said you’d say! The prince announces excitedly. She’s in love with FinnDune anyway. There is no way I can compete with him. He is the best magician ever. He conjured up an angel, and scared Elton straight. Oh, I’ve got a story about the Chevalier Ivan Kolanich. We’ve got to crash a party at the Russian embassy here, and reenact it. 


	13. The Parley

**The Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception**

The press wait for Alexa and Elke outside of the cathedral that they attend. They emerge afterwards, escorted by several members of the River Platte soccer team, the Bocas archrivals. We haven’t seen anything of the Chevalier Ivan Kolanich, since FinnDune arrived back in town. What is going on between you two? Kola isn’t courting me anymore. He’s given up hope. What did you say to him, Alexandra? That I’m not going to marry my rapist, if that’s what he’s planning. I shouldn’t have said it. I think I really hurt him. It’s just I get so angry with him sometimes. I don’t like it that he’s always comparing me unfavorably to Elke. Why doesn’t he marry her, if he thinks so much of her? Because she’s not Russian, a soccer player says, and another nods. Everyone knows that he’s going so over the top with the compliments he pays her as a way to apologize. Alexa nods. That’s what I thought too, at first, but he hasn’t let up. Kola is a selfish child; we don’t always get what we want.

Elke, you’ve been very quiet lately. What do you think about this? I’ve always wanted to see Alexa and Finn get together again; her parents have never forgiven him for breaking up with her. Are you going to see the Chevalier Ivan Kolanich now? Kola knows where to find me if he wants to talk; I just love Alexa’s parents; they’ve been so good to me. 

**The Susana Gimenez show**

Su: He’s back. The most loved, hated, and feared man in all of Argentina. The Chevalier Ivan Kolanich. 

Kola comes out and kisses Su’s hand, and makes a curt bow to the audience. 

Su: How are you dealing with Alexandra rejecting your attentions? 

Kola shrugs. Does it make me any less handsome, any less rich, any less tough? It is true that she spoke to me in anger, and a lesser man would have been crushed by her words. 

Su: What did she say?

Kola: That I should stop referring to myself in the third person. That I’m not at the Czar’s court. That I was wrong for baiting Tomas, and if I hurt any more guys on the team, she would come after me with a baseball bat. And then she asked me in what sick fantasy did I dream that I could abduct her, take her back to Russia, and legally rape her – and then expect her to love me. Su covers her mouth with her hands, and her body starts shaking with laughter. Kola pretends not to notice. And Su is finally able to regain her composure. 

Su: How did you respond, Chevalier? With silence. It is the only way to answer an angry woman. And the guys in the audience stand up, and applaud him. And Kola nods slightly, and gives a faint smile in acknowledgement. 

Su: What did she do? She hugged me, and told me goodbye. 

Su: Do you have anything you’d like to say to Alexandra? Kola nods. She is not plain. I only say this so other men would think that it is so. I plan to tell her that she is most beautiful every day when after we marry, but that is not to be.

The Chevalier Ivan Kolanich will be the last of his line, and the world will be greatly diminished for it. An audible sigh comes involuntarily from the ladies of the audience. 

Su: What are your plans? I go back to Estonia. And make more millions. The Chevalier Ivan Kolanich is an excellent field marshal, and business is the war of his generation. Although I would not say no if the Czar asked me to lead a crusade against the Muslim scourge. 

Su: I’m sure he’ll take it under advisement, Su says, and she looks at her audience with a shocked expression, and the show cuts to commercials. 

Su: Our next guests have something to say to you before you go. And Alexandra and Elke come out holding hands, and the audience cheers loudly. Kola abruptly stands up, and bows to each formally. After they’re seated, he sits back down, and runs a hand through his long hair, and steeples his fingertips. 

Su: Alexandra, do you have something that you’d like to say to this man? She nods. Kola, I’m sorry if I hurt you. I know that your intentions are good, and thank you for what you just said about me. Every girl wants to be told that she’s beautiful.

Su: Chevalier, any response? And he looks away proudly, ignoring Alexa. Okay then. Elke, do you have anything to say? Who looks over at Kola with a big smile, and then down at the floor. I’ve got something to say, Alexa intones. So Elke and I were talking about her family history, and about her grandfather Pierre who built the fortune. And I asked if she spoke French, like her Grandfather? And she says, yes, but her Grandfather spelled his first name P-E-H-R, and his last name was originally started with a T, and France wasn’t his native land. Kola’s studied pose is gone, and he’s staring at Elke with an open mouth. Can you guess where he was from? Russia.

Kola springs up from his seat and rushes over to kneel beside Elke’s chair. Why did you not tell me? He takes her hand. Is this true, most beautiful Elke? She nods. He kisses her hand, and then goes back to his seat, triumphant. Su looks at him. It is obviously of God that the beautiful and virtuous Alexandra was able to resist my attentions. Surely, no one would deny this, and he scans the audience. And she is His instrument in bringing together the loveliest of women and the handsomest of men. Ask me anything, woman of God, up to half of my estate, and see if I will not undertake it, in gratitude. And the audience claps loudly and cheers. 

Alexa: Kola, my parents love you. Will you help me get them to forgive Finn, and give him a second chance? My dad is a lot like you. Maybe you can talk to him? 

Kola: The Chevalier Ivan Kolanich would never forgive Finn either, if he was in your father’s place. Perhaps you will consent to live in our household, virtuous woman, and help my Elke raise our many children, until your parents go to their eternal rest, and then you and Finn can join hands. 

Su gives him a shocked look. Kola! Help her. How dare you address me so informally. You forget your place in the social order, and that I am of the highest nobility…

**At the manse, in Pavel’s study**

Pavel is flipping through a magazine of Finn’s trip to London. _Exclusive photos inside: FinnDune dines with the Queen._

_In small caps: Elke and Prince Andrew???_

_Elton makes pilgrimage to Mt. Athos._

There is a picture of a Finn with a shaved head, escorting his daughter. He looks tough, Pavel notes approvingly. Both are dressed formally. His daughter looks to be chewing gum. Pavel chuckles at this. And shakes his head when he sees that she’s wearing flats, so that she isn’t noticeably much taller than he is. 

A picture of Elke being escorted by Prince Andrew, whose freckled face is all lit up as Elke grins at him. Pavel smiles at Elke’s picture. 

A picture of those at the private dinner. Finn sitting at the far end of the table. Alexa is holding his hand on the table. Elke seated next to the queen. 

There is a picture of the queen kissing Elke on the cheek.

And a great picture of the Prime Minister and his wife staring at Finn in awe, while his daughter has Prince Andrew by the ear in the background, and Elke is laughing. 

Yuri knocks on the open door, and Pavel motions him to come in, and hands him the magazine to read later. 

What did Alexa say about Finn? That he’s decided to go back to living at the club and being a masseur. He didn’t ask her to remain in London? Elke told me that Finn still holds out hope for an audience with you and Anna. I don’t think he’s thought that through, Pavel comments. 

How did she like meeting the queen? She says that she got into an argument with her and the prime minister. And that they love Finn but just tolerate her for his sake. Pavel laughs. She loved the military base. She said that the guys on his old fire team just worship Finn. And that she and Elke got to be hostages, and the SAS commandos cleared the room with live ammunition. She said it was incredible. 

And what of his dog? She says that Aloysius is his mother’s dog. That it is ugly, passes gas, and has allergies. The dog loved her, and Elke thought this was very funny. She said that she told Finn that she wants an Airedale, if he is determined to get a dog when they get married. What did he say? All right, but I get to name him. Her, she corrected him. 

How is Elke? She is all excited. Finn and a GROM commando are going to Utah to find the secret canyon that she read about in Riders of the Purple Sage. She will buy it and start a ranch. What does Kola say to this? That there are plenty of abandoned missile silos in Russia. We might even find a nuclear warhead, and be able to use it against the Turks. Pavel laughs hysterically. What did she tell him? That he’s missing the point. That the ranch is a just a cover. She wants to have their own private Garden of Eden. Pavel shakes his head, only Elke could come up with that. 

Alexa says Finn’s SAS mates begged her to let them get in on the search, and let them go with Finn and Roman. She made them pinkie swear not to tell, and then told them that they were really going to be scouting a secret bachelor party location for Kola, and that Roman would send out coordinates, date and time, for the guys to show up. Either parachute, swim, or tab in after he and Finn found a suitable canyon. The empire is going to be left unguarded for 72 hours. Commandos from every NATO unit who met Finn at the training exercise in Norway are going to be there. Alexa says that I can only come if you come with me. And she says that Klaus might show up, and that Elton is delivering the message to him about Kola’s upcoming engagement to Elke.

Elke will use her engagement to pressure you and Anna, Pavel. Surely you know that you cannot avoid Finn at her wedding, and how deeply wounded she would be if you didn’t come. And Alexa would disown you, and elope with Finn afterwards. Pavel nods. 

_At dinner, Pavel and Anna talk:_

You know that this situation will come to a head soon, he tells her, when Elke gets engaged. Have you reconsidered your position since the London trip? He murdered my son. I won’t consent to his marrying my daughter. She will break with us if we don’t show up at Elke’s wedding. 

So what would you have us do? Anna asks. I want my daughter to be happy. If I meet with Finn, and tell him no, he’ll leave for Antarctica and never come back. You know this. And my beloved daughter will end up being a spinster aunt to Kola and Elke’s children. One of those soccer players would step up. They would never measure up to Finn in her eyes. Finn’s perfect for her, and you know it. He’s a killer - even Kola is afraid of him. He is a devout man. We know this when we first meet him, and approve of him. 

Yuri tells me he’s staying at the club. Talk to Alexa. Tell her that we will not disown her if she marries him, but he is never to set foot in our house. We cannot avoid him, Anna. 

Then you tell Alexa that you will agree to meet with him to tell him no, if that’s what she needs to hear to move on. I cannot crush my own daughter. You’ve seen the pictures of them together. Such a life is what I had always dreamed for her. Pavel, I know you want to say yes to her. Please hold out a little longer, for my sake. It would be so much better if they eloped. You’ll have to help me, he says. 

Send Yuri to get another massage from him. I want to know what he’s thinking, Anna declares. Pavel nods. 

_Several days later:_

Why does he not stay with Kola at his villa? The press would besiege it. The club is exclusive, and does a superb job of allowing him his privacy, and provides him a car and driver so he can do his errands. Did Su get a massage from him? Anna questions Yuri. Tatty says she saw her there. I do not know; he doesn’t talk about his clients. I know it’s impossible to get a membership at the club now, and that the guest list is very restrictive. 

How did he treat you? Pavel asks. The same as last time. Very deferential and polite. He doesn’t speak unless spoken to. But he answered my questions. I asked him what he is going to do about Alexa? He will not propose to her without your consent. How will you get that? By staying in faith. 

What are his plans? Anna asks. He will remain in BA until Kola and Elke join hands. What did Alexa say about you going to see him? She hugged me, and said that you were weakening in your opposition. And she told me to start looking for Airedale breeders. Anna stomps off, and the men hear the door to the master bedroom slam ten seconds later. 

_A week later at supper, Alexa and Elke are talking excitedly:_

Should I tell them? Tell us what? Anna asks. I’m engaged, Elke shrieks, and rushes over to give Anna a hug, and a kiss. And you are going to give me away, she tells Pavel. He grins at her. I’m so happy for you Elke. Have you set a date? Anna asks. Well, that’s the thing, she sighs. I told Kola that he has to wait until Finn is allowed to talk to you. Pavel glowers at the table and says nothing. 

You will hear him out father, Alexa declares. If only to say no, and then I’ll banish him and marry one of those midfielders on our team.

You already know my thoughts on this, Alexa. You don’t need my consent. Just elope. He won’t do it. I’ve begged him. He says that it would be disrespectful and he doesn’t want me to become estranged from you. 

I’ve got a solution, Elke announces. Kola told me how warring parties can come together to talk under a black flag. It’s called a parley. He says there is an old form that will allow you to receive Finn into your house with dignity, and for him to leave with his honor intact. Will you talk to Kola? Please, for me, Elke pleads. 

Pavel looks over at his wife, who nods. Then over at Alexa. Just let him ask and give him a straight answer, dad, and we’ll live with it. Pavel thinks about it. Fine. But I want to see his eyes. No sunglasses or contacts. Where is Kola? I want my future son-in-law to tell me about this protocol, he tells Elke, who hugs him, and then whispers to Anna loudly. Formal dresses. We’re going to get all dolled up for the occasion. We are so going shopping, and she hugs her. 

_The following Tuesday evening_ :

Yuri opens the door. He’s dressed in a black suit. He grins widely at Kola. None of that, Kola says sternly. Do not speak to him or me until this is over. You will announce us, and then leave to see that there are no visitors or interruptions. Do you understand the importance of this occasion, one hundred years in the making? Yuri stiffens and nods solemnly.

Kola motions for Finn to enter. He looks over his friend’s tuxedo with a critical eye, and brushes off an invisible piece of lint. He is wearing the exact same tuxedo, one of old world design. And then he grabs his hands in his, and bows his head in silent prayer.

They march up to the entrance of the dining room, and then allow Yuri to proceed them. The huge man is sobbing uncontrollably, as he enters the room. He smiles through his tears at those assembled, and indicates that he’s lost his voice. Pavel nods, and he goes back to Finn and Kola and gestures them to proceed. Then he goes back to his seat by the front door to await the outcome. 

The formal dining room table is cleared, and its brightly polished wood gleams from the light of the overhead chandelier. Elke is standing behind her chair. Her hair is done up, and she’s fidgeting nervously with her engagement ring. Alexa is seated at the table next to Elke. Her hair is also done up, and she’s wearing white gloves, unlike Elke. Pavel and Anna are seated together at the head of the table. Pavel is wearing a black suit, and a white dress shirt with a mandarin collar. Anna a blue satin gown, a diamond necklace and matching earrings. The other chairs at the table have been removed for the occasion. Kola and Finn bow as they enter the room. Pavel nods, Elke curtsies. Kola walks over to her and takes her hand and helps seat her. Then stands behind her chair. Finn remains where he is, and faces those at the table. He and Alexa smile adoringly at each other from across the room. Anna sees this and tears up, and suddenly gets up from her place at the table and walks over to Finn and gives him a kiss on the cheek, and smiles at him with tears in her eyes, and then goes back to sit beside her husband and takes his hand and holds it. 

Kola speaks. My friend wishes to let you know that he will abide by your decision, sir, whatever it may be. He wishes to address you in the presence of these witnesses. May he proceed? Pavel nods. I love your daughter. I ask for your blessing and consent to approach her to seek her hand in marriage.

What inducements will the man who sent my son to eternal hellfire offer me to consent to give him my beloved daughter?

Her happiness, and if it be the will of God, grandchildren to sit upon your knee, and play at your feet. What else would you require of me, sir?

The truth. How did you bring Elke back? A sip from the waters of healing that flow at the base of the tree of life. Everyone stares at Finn in awe, and all are silent for a long time. Elke starts to sob, and Alexa holds her hand under the table. How did you know where to find it? Pavel asks finally. I was granted a vision. Pavel nods, and thinks about this. If my Anna were to get sick, would you tell me how to get there? And Finn closes his eyes and starts trembling violently. And Kola walks over to him and grabs his arm. Thank you, old friend, Finn says in a husky voice, and regains control of himself. And nods at Kola to go back to Elke. And takes a deep breath, and steels himself. No, he tells Pavel, with tears in his eyes. 

So let’s say that you marry my daughter, and are able to secure her happiness, and bring joy to her mother as she tends her grandchildren. What if you get another vision? What then of her happiness? 

You were a soldier once. When the drums beat, you answer the call. It is no different. To do otherwise would be reprehensible. Family and friends would surround her, and he nods toward Kola and Elke, and my prayers would attend her. 

You are famous now, and in a way that will have seekers camping at your doorstep day and night. If you cannot help them like you helped Elke, then some of them will seek to destroy you. And they will test you by harming my daughter, in hopes of learning your secret. How can you protect her, as you will forsake your immortality to marry her? 

I’ve always been mortal, and my days are numbered. The same gift was granted to Abraham, Job, and Caleb in the Holy Scriptures. 

Weeds will always seek to take the garden; it is the way of this world. 

And what God has joined together, let no man part. 

Pavel’s shoulders slump, and he looks down at the table. I cannot stand against Providence. I do not understand, but I submit. He says quietly. Then he straightens up. 

Finn, you have my consent to marry my daughter. And Elke shrieks in joy. And everyone looks over at her, grinning. Sorry. Solemn moment interrupted. And she covers her mouth with her hand as she grins at Alexa with her eyes. 

Thank you, sir. And your blessing? Perhaps in the days to come, I will be able to pronounce it. Finn nods. May I have a moment alone with your daughter? 

***

Later on that evening, as everyone is sipping champagne, and Elke and Alexa are comparing rings, the doorbell chimes. 

Yuri goes to get it. 

The head of the FSB comes in, his arm around Yuri. Pavel, I apologize for intruding on the festivities. I was in the neighborhood, and thought I’d drop by for a friendly visit. Will you not join us, and raise a glass to my new sons-in-laws, old friend? Pavel asks happily, clapping him on the back. I would be honored to do so. 

To Kola and Elke, may you live and prosper in the new Russia. And he and Pavel drink. Kola, our new czar wishes to meet you, after your wedding, of course, which cannot come soon enough. 

Grigor, our leader wishes to present you with the gold sword of valor. Your feat of bringing back the waters of healing for Elke deserves no less. Pavel and Yuri look stunned. It is his wish that your wedding be a state event, and officiated at the new capital in St. Petersburg by the Patriarch himself. 

Pavel, our leader invites you, your lovely wife and daughter to St. Petersburg to help plan for this joyous occasion.

You sell it well, Dmitri, Pavel says finally. 

How can I not? This is a day of days for mother Russia.

Please inform your leader that it would be better for him to fall on his gold sword than to pursue this matter, Finn says quietly. I permit you to leave in the same health as you have come. Go quickly before I change my mind.

Dmitri smiles coldly. Do I need to give you a reason to search out the waters of healing once more? I have but to snap my fingers, and someone will die. Alexa, do you trust me? Finn asks. She nods. And he looks at the others, and puts his hands out, palms down, to indicate that they should stand down. 

Then may it be as you have spoken, he tells Dmitri, looking into his eyes. 

Dmitri snaps his fingers and nothing happens. He looks at Finn with fear in his eyes. Maybe your sniper forgot to take the cap off his scope. Try it again. He does. Maybe the batteries in his optic died, and he’s changing them out. Try again. He does. He might have had a call of nature, and is out of position. Shall we wait for a minute? And Dmitri moves toward the window and hesitantly snaps his fingers one last time. 

It has been as you have spoken. Your four men are now dead. Snap them one more time, and your driver will be too. The FSB man looks at his hand in total horror, then turns around to look at Finn with abject fear. 

Please inform your leader of my response to your offer, and Finn gestures toward the door. 

What just happened? Alexa asks as she hugs Finn. Let’s go out on the porch, Finn says, and taps his ear twice. The others are visibly shaken, including Kola. The chandelier over the dining room table is different than the one from back when I first came here. You knew this, and you still spoke, Anna says in astonishment. How could I not? And he hugs Alexa once more.

What happened out there? Kola asks. The men in my fire team went on to become SAS commandos. Need I say more? And the snapping of the fingers? Yuri asks. Dinner theater. I suspect they were killed as soon as they moved into position. What will you have them do with the bodies? Pavel asks. 

Your thoughts, Kola? Blame the crescent, he says with a wicked grin. 

_Afterwards_

The ambassador is outraged as he speaks to the press. Four heroes of Russia died in the attempt to save their comrades. It was a trap by the Islamist scourge, who detonated the mosque as they breached it. 

Live video footage of the flag draped caskets coming out of the plane in Russia, carried by a military guard, and being saluted by the Russian president and his generals. 

Will you tell us their names? a sobbing reporter asks the Russian leader afterwards. Pehr, Ivan, Grigor, and **…**


	14. Klaus

A short muscular man with a beard walks up to the gate of the Arapov mansion and presses the buzzer, and takes off his sunglasses to look into the camera. Yuri buzzes the gate open. Klaus walks up the long drive. By the time he comes to the door, Yuri has already spoken to his boss on the cell phone. Invite him in, and put him up in the guest room if he is tired. Tell him that we’re all over at Kola’s.

Good evening, sir. Yuri says. Would you come in? Kola is sending a car to get you. It should be arriving in an hour. 

I’ll wait here on the steps, if that is alright. Of course. May I get you something to drink? Water from the cistern, please. 

I know who you are, Yuri says when he comes back with the glass of water. How should I address you? I am Niklaus Baluerin, and he shakes hands with Yuri. His hands are bigger than Yuri’s and his forearms are massive. Everyone calls me Klaus. And you are? Yuri, the gatekeeper. Do you know who is said to guard the pearly gates? St. Peter, Yuri says quickly. He’s proud that he knows the answer. I hear that a lot, Klaus says. Is it correct? How would I know? Some say it is Father Abraham, others the poor beggar Lazarus. Forecasts tell me more about the forecaster. He sips the water. 

Would it bother you if I removed these glasses while we talk? Not at all. I’ve seen Finn’s and Kola’s eyes. Klaus nods. They trust you then. Elke’s grandmother told me that I had the saddest eyes she’s ever seen. What do you think? Yuri looks at him, and is suddenly transfixed.

What is your background, Yuri? He asks in a soft voice. And Yuri starts talking as if hypnotized... 

_And at a unit reunion, Pavel asked me to work for him. And I have ever since._

How did you and the family react to the death of the firstborn? _It was a terrible blow that nearly crushed Anna. The light went out of her eyes, and it is only recently that she has started to become her former self again. Pavel and I accepted it because we were soldiers. We both sought to find out what happened. FSB assured us that the killing wasn’t sanctioned. The men in his unit knew of no one who could best him, and were utterly shocked. He had seen combat, and didn’t hesitate in taking life. It didn’t make any sense. Pavel became paranoid, and suspected a plot against him, and moved the family here. Alexa had a difficult time adjusting, and learning the language. To go from being the leader of her social clique to being a complete outsider was tough, and she and Pavel grew very close as they looked after Anna._

_Pavel now works from home as much as he can, and I go in his place to most meetings, and speak with his voice. He is very devoted to Anna, and recently brought his sister, Tatanya, over here to be her companion, which has helped her socially._

Tell me everything that has happened since Finn first came into your life…

What are your plans, Yuri?

_I will not be needed after Alexa marries Finn. I will start my own brewery back in Kiev, and own a pub there._

You will become a master beertaster, one with discernment whose expertise will be highly sought after. But this is just an enjoyable pastime for you. Your calling as a steward is an ancient and noble one. You will be inspired by the example of Abraham’s steward, Eliezer of Damascus, who was a wise and capable man, entirely devoted to the service of his master’s household. Even the hint of an offer to betray your position of trust will bring your fierce wrath. It is by serving the Arapovs well that you hope to be rewarded with the ultimate compliment, “well done, good and faithful servant” from our Blessed Lord and Saviour. 

You find my eyes to be unexceptional, and are entirely comfortable and relaxed in my presence, and seek to befriend me. Your awareness will return in 5-4-3-2… 

How was your journey? Yuri asks Klaus. Very comfortable. Elton arranged my transportation. I see. _He’s had a hard lot in life_ , Yuri thinks. _I don’t see sadness in his eyes - that just must be women projecting their emotions on to him. Seems like a man’s man. Maybe we’ll drink some beers together later_. 

What did Elton say about Alexandra? He told me of the table talk. Of the objection of the parents. And of the way she looked at him. Do you approve? Of course. It is not good for a man to be alone, the Holy Scriptures teach.

May I ask how current you are on the status of your friends? Elton’s assistant showed me how to use the internet on the flight over here. I’m as current as the tabloids. Yuri chuckles at this. Let me get you up to date, Yuri says, and tells him all that had happened in the last week.

What is your impression of the Russian leader? Klaus asks Yuri. I think he’s been checked, and is afraid of Finn. But once Finn is married, he might test him again. What of the spymaster? He’ll never again go near Finn in person, but he’ll keep close tabs on him. 

Have you ever met Elke? When her parents died, I went to the funeral. How old was she? Ten. Have you seen her since? Once or twice over the years. 

May I ask you a question about Finn’s sister? Of course. Where is she buried? That is not for you to know, Yuri. I _should have known better than to ask him that_ , Yuri thinks to himself. _He’s a lot like me_. 

***

The Arapov’s white Mercedes SUV pulls up the driveway. And Klaus stands up. A blond figure rushes out of one of the rear door and runs up to Klaus and gives him a big hug. I’m so glad you came, uncle Klaus. You grew up, liebe Elke. You are as beautiful as your grandmother. And you are so strong. You could get a walk-on role in any Western as the village blacksmith. Alexa walks up ahead of her parents. I’d like you to meet my best friend, Alexandra Arapov. Enchanted, Klaus says, as he bows formally. Allow me to congratulate you on your engagement to Grigor. He is a man of stellar character and deep piety; you have chosen well, he tells her. Thank you, sir. Call me Klaus. Only if you call me Alexa. Deal. And they shake hands. She’s surprised how gentle his touch is. 

And this happy couple is her parents, Pavel and Anna. I am Niklaus Baluerin, but please, call me Klaus. He bows to Anna, and shakes Pavel’s hand. Will you come in? Anna asks. Kola and Finn are on their way over. They wanted to put together a travel kit for you, as Yuri said that you had no luggage. 

How is Elton? Elke asks as she holds his arm as they walk into the living room. He is well. 

May I offer you a glass of wine? I’m more of a beer man, Klaus says, but I’ll drink a glass with you so as not to offend. I’ve got some in my quarters, Yuri tells the others. I’ll go get them.

It’s been a long time since I last saw you, liebchen, Klaus tells Elke. Does she remind you of Lissie? Alexa blurts out. 

No. But Kola said that she rushed out to greet Finn when he first met her. She did. Well, Elke rushed out to give you a hug. I understand the comparison. Elizabeta did not know that we were coming, and she was horrified to see us get out of the carriage when it stopped. For a lady to meet officers in bare feet, and with her cooking apron on, and her hair not done…she was so embarrassed and apologetic. It was very endearing. Elke, you’ll have to ask Finn if he did that on purpose. 

Kola said that she caught it instantly when he was slighted by Finn. What are you talking about? Finn introduced you and my grandfather by your first names, then Kola as Colonel Kolanich. That is the correct form for one of his rank and distinction, Elke. He was the senior officer present. Pavel and Anna give each other a look.

So what was your impression of Lissie? Anna asks. Only Kola and her intimates called her Lissie. She was Elizabeta to everyone else. If I had to use just one adjective to describe her, it would be vivacious. Elke and Alexa give each other a look. Were you instantly in love with her? Alexa asks. Please understand, Alexa, that I had weighty matters on my mind, namely, how to get my family out of Russia, and prepare for what Pehr saw coming. 

Yuri returns with several beers. You must sample these, and see which you prefer. One that’s not too hoppy, Klaus says, and Yuri hands him a bottle. 

So you didn’t fall in love with Lissie? I admired and respected her. Please forgive me if I do not continue this conversation. I am used to solitude and silence; I’ve been out of the world for a long time. Let the man drink his beer, Alexa, Pavel entones. 

Have you eaten, Klaus? Anna asks him. Actually, I have not. What would you like? A cup of pea soup would be appropriate, he says, grinning at Alexa, who smiles back at him. I’ll fix something that will go with the beer, Anna says, and leaves for the kitchen. It is in serving others that we are able to overcome unhappiness, Klaus tells Yuri. I tell Elton this, but he is determined to stay at Mt. Athos, and live as a contemplative. 

May I see your eyes? Elke asks. It’s been such a long time. Of course, I did not wish to discomfort your friends, and he takes the sunglasses off. Mine now, Alexa says, and puts them in her hair. Elton has such a sense of style. You are a handsome man, Uncle Klaus. Elke declares. May I set you up on a date? Who do you have in mind? Alexa asks. Inez. I can so see that, Alexa shrieks. Let’s get my laptop. It’ll be on Youtube. And she and Elke run away. 

A fine ale, Yuri. What is its provenance? And Yuri goes into a detailed discussion of sourcing hops, barley, and coriander. You really know your beer; does BA have anything like Octoberfest in Germany? You would make an excellent judge. Yuri beams with pride, and Pavel makes a mental note: _I’m going to have to tell Tatanya this_. 

May I ask why you gave up being a police detective? A man with your skill set would be in great demand anywhere in the world. Pavel notes. Klaus nods. I found no happiness in being a glorified janitor, dealing with human waste. It wasn’t my calling, but I felt an obligation to the departed. If you’ve read Luther, then you know that the Prince is God’s hangman. And I was authorized to bear the sword in love of neighbor. But in modern society, justice is no longer executed speedily. And the death penalty is gone, so there is no closure for the victims, and very little to deter other would-be aggressors. It is a long life to spend doing something that brings no joy, and little satisfaction. What will you do? The Lord will open doors. 

Alexa and Elke come back, and play the clip where Kola gets the lady reporter to cry. She has been pestering me constantly for an interview with Finn. She’ll be blindsided by you, Uncle Klaus. What do you say? I think you better talk to Finn and Kola, Elke. You don’t trust her judgment? I trust that your intentions are good. 

Kola and Finn enter the house and find everyone gathered around Klaus at the kitchen table. Klaus! Finn shouts and gives him a bear hug. You are getting stronger, Grigor. Finn looks pleased at the compliment. Kola shakes hands with Klaus. They don’t speak. What is between you two? Alexa asks. Klaus will not tell anyone where my sister is buried. Kola would make a shrine, and spend his days manicuring the grounds, and glaring at strangers who come near. Elke laughs at this, and takes Kola’s hand. Now that he is to marry our Elke, he must look forward, and not back. Well said, Klaus. Finn states. 

How is Elton? He has started to climb the seven story mountain, Klaus responds. 

I want to set up Klaus with Inez, Elke states. We’ll all go out to dinner, Alexa adds. How about the men cook for the ladies? Kola responds. Finn closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose with his fingers, and the room goes silent. I’m not having a vision, people. Her grandmother was the same way, Klaus tells Finn. Elke, I’d be delighted to meet this young reporter. Lemme see your phone. She tells Alexa. Inez, this is Elke. Hey, would you be willing to get together for lunch with Alexa and I? Call us back, ASAP. This message will self-destruct in five seconds. And she makes a whishing noise, and disconnects. 

How are you situated for funds? Kola asks Klaus when they are alone. Pehr saw to it that I have a numbered account. Although I’d have to go to Zurich to access it. There will be a credit card at my place tomorrow with your name on it. Thank you, Kola. When will you tell me where Lissie is buried? It is not for you to know. You blame me. Indeed, I do. It is your fault that she came to the capital. You just had to introduce her to the Czar as your fiance, and show him what a resourceful man you are. 

_The following Tuesday, at a trendy restaurant_ :

Inez gets a hug from Elke as she comes up to the booth, and sits across from Alexa. Elke sits down next to Inez - to her surprise. You are so beautiful, she tells her, and squeezes her hand. Thank you. Inez, we asked you to have lunch with us because we’ve got some questions for you. Alexa states. Okay, Inez says warily. The waiter comes up to get their drink order. What beers are on tap? Alexa asks. I’ll have an amber. Me too, Elke says. Make it a pitcher, Inez says. Do you want an appetizer? Just a bowl of soup, Alexa says with a smile. Same, Elke says. I’ll try it, Inez says. What are we doing, having a liquid lunch? Alexa shrugs. Are you ready for my questions? I guess. I’m not used to being interviewed. 

Are you a godless woman? I’m Catholic. How would you categorize yourself on the following spectrum: nominal, observant, devout? Observant. You are even more pretty in person, Elke says. Do you have a boyfriend? I need to work on my deportment before I can get one, according to your fiancé, she tells Elke. I’m sorry he said that, Elke tells her. It’s not true, and you know it. Seriously, Alexa continues, are you seeing anyone? Look, I’ve got a career. Which has taken off ever since I met your fiancé. I’m not looking for a man. You’re right, Alexa tells Elke. Kola really hurt her.

My fiancé wants to cook for you, well, for all of us. It’s his way of apologizing. But you have to bring a date. You can set me up with Tomas, Inez tells Alexa. Actually, we’ve got someone else in mind for you. He’s a friend of Finn, but he and Kola barely tolerate each other. I like him already, Inez says. Tell me more. Is he rich and handsome like Kola? He is very strong and manly, Elke says, and Alexa nods. But he’s short like Finn. Inez grimaces. I don’t know if I can deal with that. I’ve always wanted to look up to my dream guy. So what does he do? He’s independently wealthy from a trust fund, so he doesn’t have to work a day in his life if he doesn’t want to. I’m sorry, Alexa. I don’t see it happening. I’m a working girl, and I couldn’t respect a house husband. He used to be a police detective, but he’s seen too much. Elke says quietly. He has the saddest eyes you will ever see. Does he wear sunglasses like Finn? Yes, but I can tell him not to wear them, if that is your preference. I’d like you to give him a chance, Inez, Alexa states. Alright, but I get to interview Finn and write what I see of Kola, Finn, and what’s his name? Klaus. Is he German? He’s Russian, like Kola. Oh, boy. We’ve already talked to our fiancés, and they’re fine with answering your questions, but no tape recorders or cameras. You have to write your article from memory. I’m trying to get into print; I actually went to college to be a writer. Fine. And I get to see Finn’s eyes. Alexa frowns and looks at Elke. Deal’s off. She’s very jealous, Elke tells Inez, who laughs.

So when is this blind date? Thursday after you get off of work? I’ll be on the clock, remember? So my schedule is wide open. What time? How about 6 o’clock, and bring your appetite. We can come get you, or send a driver. I’ll drive myself. I like my car. What do you have? A MINI. Are you free after lunch? I’ve always wanted to test drive one. We need to go for a ride, Alexa declares. I’ve got to head back to the studio. Will you come to Kola’s early then, and let me put it through its paces? Alexa asks. No one but me drives my car, Inez states. We’ll go to the dealer after lunch and test drive one, Elke tells her friend. Where did you get yours? Let me make a quick call, Inez says. Geraldo, it’s me. Say, I’m going car shopping with Elke and Alexandra after our lunch. She listens for awhile. I’ll ask. He wants to bring a camera crew. I’ve got to sing for my supper, she tells Elke, who nods. Yeah, that’s fine. Call the dealer and set it up. Hey, our foods here. Bye.

It’s not that I care about the photo op, Inez says, but you need my expert advice. It’s a show, don’t tell kind of thing. That’s fine, just as long as you have me on mute. Every time I open my mouth to the press, I end up putting my foot in it, Alexa quips. Back to the dinner blind date. What are you wearing? Sundresses, so we can pig out, Elke states. Hair down, Alexa adds. Inez looks worried. Elke sees this. We’ll go to the mall and go shopping together. Gotta see how the MINI parks, right? I suppose he’s seen the Youtube clip of me crying, Inez states. Alexa grins. 

_Kola’s Villa, Thursday evening._

Well, if it isn’t the car salesman, Kola says as he greets Inez. He’s wearing a traditional chef’s uniform, and has his contacts in. Please, call me Kola. You clean up nice, he tells her with a grin. And offers her his arm. The others are on the veranda. Is it true that you live in a high rise? She nods. How do you breathe? I’ve got lots of plants, she tells him.

Elke sees them come in and runs up and gives her a hug and a kiss. Go cook my meal, she tells Kola, who hurriedly bows and rushes away to the kitchen. Inez laughs at this. Finn and Klaus are caught in traffic, and running a little late. Get out of my kitchen, they hear Kola roar, and Alexa comes scurrying into the room, licking her fingers. What is he preparing? Crème brulee. 

Since our sommelier is late, I’ll do the honors, Alexa says. Whatchoo want woman? Inez laughs some more. 

When Finn and Klaus walk in thirty minutes later, they see the girls leaning against the counter at the bar, well into pounding down a second bottle. Alexa runs up to Finn, and throws her arms around him and gives him a long kiss. I’d like you to meet my new friend, Inez Suarez. He bows. He’s wearing his dark sunglasses. Inez, this is Niklaus Baluerin, hereinafter Klaus. He does a neck bow, and says nothing, just studies her. Compliment her, Elke whispers loudly. I enjoyed watching you show Alexandra and Elke that little car, and laughed when you popped the hood, and started talking about the engine. You are quite the tomboy, aren’t you? Your eyes, is all she can say. They’re mine and you cannot have them, he states, and everyone but Inez laughs. Kola comes out unto the veranda. I see you’ve all met. Yes, his eyes are brown. Mine are grey. Finn’s are blue. And roses are red, and he produces one from behind his back for Inez. Wrong color, Elke says, frowning at him. Red is for love. Light pink is for admiration. May I see it? Finn asks. And he turns it into a pink rose, and gives it to Inez, who is awed by his sleight of hand. 

Virtuous woman, may I escort you to the dining table, and wait on you with slavish devotion? Kola says to Alexa. She grins at him. Liebchen, may I have the honor of being your server? Klaus asks. Elke smiles at him, and they follow behind Kola and Alexa. A moment please, Mdms. Call me Inez, Finn. He nods. I understand that you intend to write what you see and hear. She nods. Isn’t that why Elke invited me, so I’d tell the world how she’s transformed Kola? Perish the thought; the Chevalier Kolanich is as he ever was. And they both laugh. It is her wish that Klaus and Kola reconcile. Perhaps you will help Elke in this? Now, lovely lady, may I have the privilege of escorting you to the dinner table, and seeing to your every whim. I thought that this was going to be a blind date. Alexa said that you were nervous, and asked us to change the script. This way you can be in each other’s company without any awkwardness or expectations. Please accept me as a poor substitute for my friend, and allow me to be your date for the evening. Thank you, Finn; that’s very kind of you. May I say that you look incredible. I do believe the sight of you stopped my friend’s tongue.

*** 

Finn, that was delicious. Inez tells him. I’ll be sure to let the chef know. So are you guys going to join us at the table, now that the meal is over? I’ve got questions for you. 

The food critic would like to meet the chef, Finn says in a loud whisper to Klaus, who goes to get Kola, who comes into the room with his hat in hand, wringing it nervously. The meal was to your satisfaction? He asks anxiously. The portion sizes were perfect, Alexa admits. And the food was edible, Elke adds, grinning. Now join us, but only after you’ve brought me my coffee, Elke says. I will see to it, and he leaves. What do you ladies wish to drink when we all return to the table in fifteen minutes? Finn asks. Coffee sounds good, Alexa says. Inez nods. The kitchen is off limits, Finn warns. 

Hello, again. Klaus says as he finishes bringing in the rest of the chairs back to the table. He’s now wearing a navy blue vneck sweater, white linen pants, and dock shoes. He offers to seat Inez. I’ll be right back with your coffee. Creamer or sugar? She shakes her head no. Elke and Alexa give Inez a big grin, and she blushes. Stop it, she tells them.

Kola comes back to the table wearing a Boca Jrs. track suit. What have you done to him, Elke? Inez shrieks with laughter. Finn walks in wearing a fedora, an unbuttoned shirt with rolled up sleeves over suspenders and a wifebeater, and flat front slacks. Gone are his ugly sunglasses, now replaced by Persols. My hipster, Alexa laughs. I was trying for Justin Timberlake, he tells everyone. I’m often mistaken for him when I don’t shave. I can see that, Inez says laughing. 

Are you guys ready for my questions? Kola and Finn shrug. So when is the big wedding? My jet is fueled and waiting. Let’s go to Las Vegas and get married by Elvis, Kola tells Alexa. You are so romantic, and she bats her eyes at him. Maybe we can get matching tattoos while we’re there, she adds. And see FinnDune and Elke give a performance at the Luxor.

We are thinking sometime in May, Elke tells Inez. I know it’s a really short engagement, but well, it’s going to be a really small wedding, so there is not much to plan and organize. Are you getting married in the same ceremony? We’d like to, Finn says. But that is for the ladies to decide, Kola adds. We’re negotiating, Alexa says. Elke wants to get married in Utah in an outdoor ceremony. Two boats meeting at the confluence of the rivers. Then photographs in the Canyonlands. That is so romantic, Inez states. Where do you want to get married? Here in our cathedral. We all met and fell in love here, so it seems fitting. I agree with Alexa, Inez says. What are your objections? I’m not Catholic, Elke says, and I want the Lord’s Table to be the first thing we do together as a married couple. And I want a private ceremony: no media or fanfare. 

Where are you all going to settle down and put down roots? Elke’s estate in Switzerland to begin our married lives. What about you Finn? We’ll stay here until Alexa finishes her degree. Then we’ll decide.

Have you ever been married, Klaus? Kola bursts out laughing, and Elke frowns at him. I have not, Inez. Do you know of Mt. Athos in Greece? Yes, I’ve heard of it. Klaus just came from there, Finn says quietly. You’re setting me up with a monk? Really? And she glares at Elke and Alexa. I suppose you think that’s funny. It is now that you mention it, and Alexa and Kola burst out laughing. 

He’s not a monk, Inez. Elke explains. It’s true, Klaus says. I’ve never taken the vow of chastity, poverty, and obedience, nor do I ever intend to. When is the last time that you went out with a girl? His sister was very dear to me, he nods to Finn. Why did she break up with you? We were never together; she chose Kola. But he’s moved on to Elke, and there are no second chances with you. Something like that, he says. 

What do you have to say about this, Finn? My sister is at peace, and rests in the hope of our blessed Lord. 

I’m so sorry, Inez exclaims. I completely misunderstood. 

Why did you let me go on, Elke? I didn’t know what to say, she admits. I don’t think that the guys want me to tell you her story because you’re a reporter. And I know very little about Klaus and Lissie. The table goes silent. 

Elke tells me you went to university to be a writer. Yes. But we’re not going to talk about me yet, until I know about your past. Why would a built guy like you retreat from the world? 

Inez, he’s seen things that a man should not see. Kola says quietly. Please drop this. I don’t think I can. I know that you were a police detective, so you’ve seen evil and death. Klaus nods. Well, I’m a reporter, so I have too. If it bleeds, it leads, right? And my dad is a cop. He never brought his work home with him, and was always able to compartmentalize. 

That is a tribute to your mother, Finn says. A man’s home should be his castle. He pauses. My sister’s death affected us all profoundly, Inez. Klaus most of all, and I say this as her brother, and Kola as her fiancé. Klaus was the one who found her remains. And he gave us all the gift of remembering her as she was, and you can see what that has cost him. He is a most noble and honorable man, and a true friend, Finn says, and Inez sees Kola nod at this declaration. 

Inez stares at Klaus. Aren’t you a Christian? Haven’t you read Elke’s goodbye letter? Why are you moping around on Mt. Athos? Man up. If you’re going to live like a monk, then at least be one. 

Kola bursts out laughing. Your mother, he tells Finn. Who just looks at her. 

You speak as a child, Klaus tells her. And you are a fool, Kolanich. Klaus! Elke says sharply and frowns at him. Liebe Elke, it is true that I loved Elizabeta. But she chose Kola, and I respected her choice. He was unworthy of her, but we men are all unworthy of the women in our lives. It is not for this that he is a fool. He treated her like the lady she was, and their happiness did not detract from my own. He knows this to be true. He is a fool because he did not guard the treasure he was given.

He glares at Kola. You were warned what would happen. By myself. By Pehr. By Grigor. It was preventable. You should have grown old and grey together, and had many children. Your pride got her killed. 

Kola looks down at the table, and begins to weep. Elke puts her arm around him and hugs him. 

Old friend, my father is to blame. Not Kola. Surely you know that she would obey him, and not her fiancé, even if Kola begged her to stay home. Kola accepted this, and did the best he could to protect her, while still doing his duty. He and I have talked about this. You bear false witness against him, by misconstruing his motives.

Klaus chokes up and starts weeping uncontrollably. I am the fool. Please forgive me, he tells Kola. I have carried this grudge for far too long. The men get up and hug. We will go together to see her grave. It is near her favorite spot, where she liked to sit by the river. Surely you know it. And Kola nods. 

Elke, are you thinking what I’m thinking? Alexa asks, and Elke nods. What? Inez asks. I think we should be married there. Lissie is Elke’s hero, and Elke is my hero, so I think it fits. 

Tell Inez about Lissie, Klaus. I don’t think you’ve thought that through, Alexa. When did Finn tell you? Certainly not on your first date. It would be too much. Right when he broke up with me, Alexa says grinning. She’s tougher than I am, and her dad is a cop, and she’s got Elke and I for a friend. Klaus looks at Kola, who shakes his head no. Klaus looks at Finn, who touches his glasses, but leaves them on. 

You said you went to college to be a writer. She nods. I’m more of a reader, Klaus tells the table. I might be able to tell it if I frame the story in a long ago and far away context, to distance myself from events. Kola steeples his hands, and says nothing. Finn nods. An excellent idea, Klaus. How long ago should I set it, Finn? My greatgrandfather fought in World War I as a cavalry officer in the Russian army. 

You wish to test my knowledge of history? Rewind the clock to the fall of 1916, Kola states. I can work with those parameters, Klaus says confidently.

Three Russian officers went with their friend Finn… 

No, his name was Grigor, Finn states. With their friend Grigor, back to his estate in Finland for a month’s leave, awarded to them by their leader for meritorious service. 

Getting out of Moscow… 

No, the capital was Petrograd in those days, Kola states. Getting out of St. Petersburg and heading into the countryside was like stepping back in time. Going from motorcars to horse drawn carriages. 

The three officers were looking forward to meeting Grigor’s sister. They’d all heard of Elizabeta, not that she had the reputation of being a beauty, but of the fortune that would descend upon the man who married her. Her father was a retired officer of the highest nobility in the Duchy of Finland, but was said to be out of favor at the court of the Russian king. Czar, Kola corrects him.

You tell it, if you think you can do better, Inez says. You’re doing well, Klaus. Thank you, Inez.

These three officers all considered her a most eligible match, sight unseen, as they held her brother in the highest esteem. So it was agreed, may the best man win her hand. 

The carriage pulls up to the manor, and the officers see the door fling open, and a brown haired girl in bare feet rushes out to meet us. She was wearing a plain grey dress with a cooking apron. Grigor jumped out before the carriage came to a halt, and they hugged and he twirled her around. We get out of the carriage, and she is horrified to see us, and goes to bolt back into the house. But Grigor won’t let her go, and tells her that he’d like to introduce her to his brother officers. She has her head down for a moment, then takes a deep breath. And looks at each of us, as we are introduced. I apologize for receiving you in such a state; I was only expecting my brother.

May I provide some color to the story? Kola interrupts. Prior to this, I was forbidden to speak to Lissie. Earlier at court, I’d told the Czar that I was going to marry von Julin’s sister, and I start to say her name when I’m slapped by Gri. Backhanded hard. I’ll be happy to demonstrate, Alexa says, and everyone laughs. You are not worthy to speak her name. The ignoble house of Kolanich is bankrupt, and full of drunkards, whoremongers, and gamblers. 

You two are really good storytellers, Inez says. Shush, Kola tells her. And fighters, I tell him. And fighters, he agrees, and glares at me. You understand, if he did not admit this, we would have had to duel. But not for the former? They were fighting words, but not slander, if you understand the distinction. I think I do, Inez says, looking at him. And Gri tells the Czar, I’d be delighted to introduce either of these men to my sister, and snubs me again. The Czar looks at all of us, and orders us to go on leave with Grigor, and to bring back Lissie to present her at court in a month. Gri is not happy about this, but orders are orders.

Klaus continues. So Elizabeta curtsies to each of us, and looks at each of us briefly, before lowering her eyes, and staring at the ground. Her countenance and figure is unremarkable, and her complexion is brown and freckled from the sun. But she seems like a sweet country girl who obviously loves her brother, and for a soldier to be greeted like that upon coming home - well, I am not a sentimental man, but that appeals to me. So I decide that I will court her in earnest.

We met with her father in his study, and our senior officer, Colonel Kolanich, reported to him the goings on at court for several hours. We hear a soft knock on the door, supper’s ready, a lovely voice says. And we walk out to the formal dining room table. There are three chairs covered with black cloth. My three eldest sons died in the first year of the war, he tells us proudly. Get your mother, she’ll be joining us tonight, he orders his daughter.

Another insert needed. All of us have different colored eyes, very distinctive. And Lissie is fascinated by them, and cannot stop staring at us. Until her father tells her that she’d do well to marry one of us, then she stares at the floor. So her father tells her to get her mother. Her mother comes into the room dressed in black. Her husband tells her to remove the cloth from the chairs. That we are worthy to sit in them. It is only then she looks at us, and is startled by our eyes.

Supper was simple. Pea soup with bread and cider. Elizabeta apologizes. The food is as plain as the chef, she tells us quietly. This is a sumptuous feast, Pehr declares. Did the chef study in Paris? And Elizabeta smiles at him. Her face lights up when she smiles, and she is suddenly beautiful. Gri makes a joke, and his sister laughs. I’ve never seen a woman so transformed into a vision of joy. And suddenly my friends were my rivals. Pehr takes the direct approach. And asks Elizabeta if she’d go for a walk with him after supper. She agrees and teases that this would get her mother out of the house. Don’t vex me, Lissie. Her mother tells her sternly. I decided to win her by getting her mother’s approval, and asked to escort her on a walk after supper. So she could chaperone her daughter and Pehr. Kola decided to charm her father, and told him that he’d brought him a gift of some of Russia’s best. They got roaring drunk that night. We could hear them laughing and later singing as we played cards when we got back from our walk. 

You’re leaving out the best part, Kola interrupts. So we’re sitting at dinner, and I’m not allowed to speak to Lissie. And her mother is such a killjoy. Gri is chastised from Scripture, after making a joke – every idle word will be judged- and I burst out laughing, and Lissie looks at me with big eyes in astonishment that I’d dare cross her stern grieving mother. I think her father laughed at her expression, and she started laughing too. Klaus scowls at us, and shakes his head disapprovingly. May the author and giver of life comfort you, and grant you peace, he tells Finn’s mother. Who looks at him startled. They stare at each other. Then he says quietly, excessive grief is an affront to God. Are you not a Christian woman? Do you not believe in the resurrection of the dead and the life everlasting? I think he even shocked her husband. And she puts her head down, and could not meet his gaze. 

And it was Klaus who got the first kiss, Kola continues. The next morning, I woke up in the stables, covered with a horse blanket. Grigor could be so subtle. Everyone laughs. I’ve got a horrible hangover. When I come inside, after washing my face at the well, Pehr tells me that I smell like a horse. 

Stop shouting at me, he tells us as he massages his temples, Klaus interjects. And everyone laughs again. And Pehr takes me up to my room, where a servant draws me a bath. When I come down, everyone is eating breakfast, and her father makes fun of me for not being able to handle my liquor. Her mother comes in and everyone is shocked. She’s wearing a plain dress much like Lissie wore, probably made from the same bolt of cloth. She looks much better. Lissie didn’t say anything, and walked over to Klaus and kissed him on the cheek, and looked at him with such admiration. He just nodded at her. Now remember, I still haven’t spoken to Lissie.

Let Klaus tell it, Kola. Alexa tells him. I’ve already heard your version of events.

Elizabeta, Klaus starts to say. Please call her Lissie. It’s how I know her, Elke pleads. That is her nickname, and only for intimates. It wouldn’t be right for me to use it. Please, Elke begs. With your permission, he looks at Kola, who nods. Inez looks between them. So LISSIE tells everyone that she is going visit her friend Helena and let her know that her Grigor is back. And Finn gives her a look, but says nothing. And she gives him a big grin. And her mother says that Helena would make an excellent minister’s wife. I had already learned how disappointed his mother was in him, when he decided to become an officer instead of going into the church. Kola and Lissie laugh together at this. And Finn tells his sister to send his regards to her family. His father tells her to bring Helena back for supper, to please his wife, I think at the time. But he might have been matchmaking. 

When we got back from hunting, we have dinner. Helena was a short pretty girl with a full figure. And Kola flirted with her outrageously. What he said would be considered tame now, but quite shocking back then. What did you tell her? Elke asks. He zips his lips. Everyone looks to Klaus. Are all the women in your family so well endowed by their Creator? Finn responds. And we all couldn’t believe that he’d say such a thing at table. A gentleman does not talk that way to a lady. With such a smile, and such wit, and such lively eyes. Then he tells her that her hair is the color of barley, and he likes his beer. Pehr jumps in, and asks Helena about the weather in heaven. I assume you two just came from there, seeing how radiant you both look. And everyone laughs, even her mother.

And it’s then that Elizabeta, sorry, Lissie, asks Kola why he won’t speak to a plain girl of large fortune. Because the ignoble house of Kolanich is bankrupt, and full of drunkards, whoremongers, and gamblers. Everyone is aghast. For a gentleman to slander his family so is unheard of. Don’t forget fighters, her father says, and grins at him. So he isn’t allowed to speak to me, she asks Finn, who nods gravely. Well, perhaps you know how to write, and she smiles at him. And I’ll never forget the look on his face. He was smitten. Her father told Kola that he may speak to his daughter. And Finn got up and left the table, got on his horse and didn’t come back home until it was time to go to the capital. And Pehr and I knew that our cause was lost, and we accepted it.

I got to know Elizabeta well during those weeks, and then later on at the capital, when she became a governess for the Czaress. She and Kola got engaged. They were so happy together that even Finn relented. But then tragedy struck, and she was gone from our lives. 

What happened to her? We are all mortal, and our days are numbered. Finn answers. Let us each make the most of them. You told it well, Klaus. A toast is in order. To new beginnings. 

Is Yuri coming to get you two? Kola asks. Inez will drive us back. I’ll have my men follow you to make sure you get home safely. Klaus, you are staying here. The men stand. I’ll walk you to your car, Inez. I need to see it, Kola tells her. Give us a couple minutes, I’ve got to look it over, he says to Elke, and she nods. 

So, am I forgiven? He asks her. She nods. Thank you for inviting me, Kola. I’ve a favor to ask of you. Yes, I’ll go out with him. Kola laughs. But will he go out with you? Inez, the favor I’m asking is that you not write anything about Lissie. She was someone you met at college, wasn’t she? You all were fraternity brothers. He did such a good job of framing the story and coding it. But you know that I’ll figure it out eventually. My dad is a cop, remember? I can find out anything about anyone. Good luck with that, he tells her. Finn says that questions tend to lead to more questions. 


	15. Inez

_Several days later, at a family lunch after church_ :

So Inez, how was your blind date? I had a great time, and the food was so amazing. Kola is such an incredible chef. So how was your mystery man? Does he have a name? Her aunt teases her. He goes by Klaus. And? Well, he’s Russian like Kola and short like Finn. He is such a catch, her cousin says dreamily. Who? FinnDune. I’ve got to tell you what happened. So we girls get waited on hand and foot, and eat by ourselves. Kola is the chef, and stays in the kitchen. And Finn and Klaus are our waiters. So after dessert is done. Elke asks for coffee, and says that she wants to meet the chef. And Kola played his part so well, like we were food critics. And Finn said that we’d meet back at the table in fifteen minutes to have coffee together, after they did the dishes. 

But the guys all did an outfit change. Finn comes in wearing a fedora, an unbuttoned shirt over a wifebeater, and designer sunglasses. My hipster, Alexa shreeks. And he was really disappointed. I was trying for Justin Timberlake, he told us; I’m often mistaken for him. What about the Chevalier Kolanich? Was he mean to you again? No, he was such a gentleman, and so into being the chef. And he’s just Kola now. Elke’s got him wrapped around her finger. He was wearing a Boca Juniors warmup suit when he came to the table. And what did your date wear? Really nice expensive clothes. So he took it seriously, her father comments approvingly. 

He wasn’t really my date though. Finn escorted me, and was my server. He said that Alexa asked him to, because I was nervous. Did you see his eyes? No. But his friend’s eyes were really distinctive. Brown. He’s got the saddest eyes I’ve ever seen. I couldn’t stop staring at them when I met him. 

So has this Klaus called you? Her aunt asks. No, Alexa says that he doesn’t have a phone. But he sent a note and some flowers to the station. Roses? No. Wildflowers. I think he picked them himself. So what does he do? Elke says that he used to be a police detective. Kola said that he’s seen things that no man should see. And he’s been living on the holy island of Mt. Athos in Greece for awhile, but not as a monk-so he must have some sort of special dispensation. Elton flew him over here on his plane. And Elke says that he’s rich, and has a trust fund. And he is super strong. How old is he? Same age as Finn and Kola. What did he think of you? 

Alexa said that he liked me. He called me a tomboy when we met, and said that he laughed when he saw me on TV showing Alexa the MINI. But remember, Finn was my date, not Klaus-who escorted Elke. Finn told me that I looked lovely, and that the sight of me stopped his friends tongue. Did he do any magic? Her nephew asks. He did. Kola gave me a red rose, and Elke pretended to be upset. Wrong color: red is for love, light pink is for admiration. And Finn asked to see it, and he changed it into a pink rose, and gave it to me. It was such an incredible trick. 

I thought you were going to write an article on it, her aunt teases her. I’m afraid that if I do, that Elke and Alexa won’t be friends with me anymore. I think that they are testing me. And those guys are super smart. I was really upset when I heard that he’d just came from Mt. Athos, and thought that they were playing a prank on me. You’re setting me up with a monk? I suppose you think that’s funny. And Alexa and Kola just died laughing at my reaction. But Elke took my hand, and was really serious and told me he wasn’t a monk. I really like her. And I asked him when was the last time he’d gone out with a girl. And it turned out to be Finn’s sister, who chose Kola over him. And then I really put my foot in my mouth. But he’s with Elke now, and there are no second chances with you. Something like that, he tells me, looking at me with his sad eyes. What do you have to say about this, Finn? Who tells me that his sister rests in peace. Elke was really apologetic, and said that she couldn’t warn me because I was a reporter. And that she didn’t know the whole story. Oh, earlier, when Finn told me that he was going to be my date, he asked me to help reconcile Klaus and Kola.

Klaus told me that I spoke like a child, and called Kola a fool. And Elke checked him. Then he told this incredible story, set back in 1916, and all in code, because his friends didn’t want him to tell it. Of how he and Kola and another friend had meet Finn’s sister, who was plain but really sweet. And how three friends became rivals, and competed for her hand, and Kola won.

Why did he call him a fool? Her father asks. Because he didn’t protect the treasure that he was given. Your pride got her killed. And they both started weeping. And Finn got them to reconcile, and they both hugged afterwards, and Alexa said that they are going to get married at her grave, and Elke agreed. 

Now do you see why I cannot write it?

So what have you figured out? Nothing. Finn is adopted, remember. I’m thinking that he had a foster sister that he kept in touch with over the years. Klaus framed the story that they were brother officers in the Russian army in World War I. Which I thought he meant going to university, and being fraternity brothers. But Finn dropped out of Cambridge to enlist in the British Paras. It doesn’t make any sense. What I saw was real. Kola and Klaus loved her. And barely tolerated each other until after that dinner. Klaus said that their happiness did not detract from his own, and that they should have grown old and grey together, and have had many children. Alexa told me that Lissie, Finn’s sister, was Elke’s hero. She’s not jealous of her at all. And Finn told me that Klaus found her remains, and was a most noble and honorable man, and a true friend, who gave them all the gift of remembering her as she was. I asked what happened to her, and Finn just said that we are all mortal, and our days are numbered, and that we should make the most of them. Then he got up and made a toast to new beginnings, and that was it. Evening over. And Kola escorted me out to my car, and asked me a favor. I told him that I’d go out with his friend, and he laughed. But will he go out with you? And he asked me not to write about Lissie. 

So I’m in a really awkward position. I cannot write about what was said, because the common thread is Finn’s sister. Why don’t you write the article as a food critic, and tell the story of the meal, ending with the wardrobe change, and then hint what was said over coffee was too intimate to reveal, ie. wedding plans. That way you’ll make your reputation as an incredible writer, but one who is discrete with confidences, and everyone will want to talk to you. Even Su will be calling. And so will he, when he sees that you can be trusted. 

My mother is a genius, she tells the table. That’s exactly what I’ll do. Now tell us this WWI enigma, and we’ll help you decipher it, her father says, and her uncles and the rest of her family all lean in, and rub their hands together. They’re all cops, and love a good mystery.

**Saturday Night Live: A month later**

Justin Timberlake is hosting. The cold open has him wearing ugly sunglasses in public. He’s dressed in fatigue pants and hiking boots. A mother hands him her baby to bless, and he kisses it, and hands it back to her without saying a word. A woman with hiccups is suddenly cured when she touches him, and looks at him in awe. A bunch of Navy Seals take him out drinking and emulate him, and sit in silence as women come up and the table fills up with napkins with phone numbers on them. Taxi drivers offer to pay him to ride in their cabs. And he doesn’t say anything, just takes off his glasses at the end of the skit, and smiles.

***

Inez’s cousins show the Youtube clip to Klaus, who laughs heartily. It already has 8,583,511 views; up next on the autoplay list is the Media Talent Awards speech. What’s he like? They ask him as they sit down for the family dinner after church. He is a serious man of deep piety, Klaus answers. How did you meet him, Klaus? That is a conversation that your daughter and I haven’t had yet. Tell it in a riddle, her uncle says. We still are puzzling over the one you told Inez about his sister. He grins. That story only worked because I had my friends there to help me tell it. 

So you used to be a police detective? Yes. Why did you give it up? Her father asks him. I worked homicide. And I got tired of being a janitor. I found no satisfaction in my job, although I was very good at it – my closure rate was the highest in my department. But it took a toll on me, which is why I needed to retreat from the world.

Inez has told me about the tradition of the men in your family going into the force. And it is a noble calling. When a police officer upholds the law of the land, he is serving his neighbor. When he wields the sword in obedience to legitimate authority in order to restrain and punish evildoers, he is serving his fatherland, and fulfilling the moral law of God. The Holy Scriptures teach that peacemakers shall be blessed, and as I look around this table, I see His blessing upon your lives. Inez’s mother tears up, and the family men nod solemnly in agreement. 

How did you get those eyes? A young nephew asks him. You may have studied in biology class how dominant genes are passed down through the generations. A long time ago, four men were given a special gift, one that would be a blessing and a curse to them, for hazarding all. In order to get eyes like Finn’s, Kola’s, and mine, you have to have brave and hearty ancestors who did not fear death in the line of duty. Would you tell us their story? Inez’s aunt asks. I will, because even though we may disagree doctrinally, we are all followers of Christ according to the light that we have been given. 

My great grandfather was of the highest nobility in Russia, and born to wealth and privilege. When the Great War came, my namesake bought a commission to serve as military superintendent of the rail. He bought this commission not because he was a coward, but because he was a pacifist from his strict religious upbringing, and yet he still wished to obey the Fourth Commandment and serve his fatherland. His duty was to see to it that supplies reached the frontlines, and that the bounty of the countryside reached the cities. 

He was by all accounts a brilliant man, but one with few social graces. Very much like Sherlock Holmes. And like Sherlock Holmes he had an odd passion, hypnosis. Family lore has it that he was able to put people in a trancelike state, wherein they were open to suggestion. And that he used this ability to cut through the inefficiency, the corruption, and the graft that existed in the labyrinthine supply chain bureaucracy. In time, he was promoted to the general staff, and became the expediter for special projects and sensitive cargo. If the generals on the Southwest Front needed more artillery ammunition, they would inquire of engineer Baluerin. He was the go-to man and occupied a unique niche. 

So it was because of his status and ability that he was present at a top secret meeting of a select group of officers from the first order of the nobility in the summer of 1916. The Russian monarch - the Czar - he says, looking over at Inez, who nods approvingly at this detail, is announced and strides into the room, followed by Alexeyev, the most senior military man in Russia. And the Czar is aglow as he declares in French, French being the language of the Russian court, the Ark of Noah has been sighted on Mt. Ararat. 

And those assembled are shown photos of the Ark, taken from a military airplane. It is unmistakable, and sticking out of the ice at the base of a canyon. You are assembled here to mount an expedition to document this finding. I’d like to hear your ideas as how to best proceed. The Czar pounds an open palm with his fist, whatever it takes. 

Kolanich steps forward, and makes a case for 150 men. Three parties of fifty. One for the base camp. One for each slope, north and south. And we will reinforce whichever shows promise. We will not fail you, he tells the Czar. The Czar smiles approvingly at him and nods. Then a junior officer steps forward. Your Highness, if I may offer an alternative? And the Czar frowns at him. Briefly, von Julin. He had already made up his mind. And von Julin tells the group that he’d been an alpinist in Germany before the war. That it was late in the summer, and the storms would come, and the ascent would be extremely hazardous. And to allow him to pick nine men from his unit, who have been through fire and ice together, and would die for each other, and they would scale the mountain, if it was God’s will. And he asked for three officers such as Kolanich to manage the base camps at each level of the ascent, to ferry up supplies, and to bring down the injured and dead, and see to it that they were given the honours they deserved. And it was a sobering assessment that brought to the forefront the danger and risk of loss that had been unspoken in the excitement. 

The Czar tells him to bite his tongue, that he is a glory seeker. And says that if he did not know his father, he would think him a revolutionary. Officers do not serve conscripts. Von Julin bows and steps back, head down and chastened in front of the whole group. Already the youngest and most junior officer in the assemblage, he became a pariah among the cadre of officers, until he showed his worth. He would become the true leader of the four officers who climbed the northeast slope of Mt. Ararat late that summer, and the first to set foot on the Ark of Noah. 

No way. Inez’s cousin says, as she stares between Klaus and Inez. You have to keep telling the story, Klaus. I urgently need to visit the water closet. Wine has that effect on me, he confesses. And everyone laughs as Klaus gets up from the table. 

Well, I really like him, Inez. Her cousin says. Shush, he’ll hear you. I don’t care. He’s like the incredible Hulk, her nephew says in awe. He’d crush the Chevalier Kolanich if he insults you again. And the grownups laugh, as Inez blushes. 

I’m not used to eating to the point of satiety. We should go for a walk, he tells Inez. Sit back down and visit with us, Klaus, her mother declares. They’ll talk and laugh for hours about nothing, while we watch the football games, her uncle tells Klaus. Now I’d like to hear more of this story, and what it portends, her father says. 

Berto, were you around for the table talk when Inez recounted the riddle of FinnDune’s sister? The nephew nods. What was Finn’s toast at end? To new beginnings. Before that. Our days are numbered; let us make the most of them. What happened to her? That is not for you to know. And he thinks for a moment in silence. 

You have an excellent memory; you are very much like how I was at your age. I must therefore be careful with this story. I do not wish it to be a stumbling block for you. Faith comes from hearing the Word of God, not from seeing the Ark of Noah. Before I go further, you need to understand that the four Russian officers were already believers in Christ before they saw the Ark. The Bolshevik Trotsky saw the pictures taken by the airplane, and yet remained an atheist. Those convinced against their will are of the same opinion still. 

So, returning to the story of the Russian Ark expedition - with a generous allowance for legendary accretion over the generations, he says with a grin. Case in point, it was later learned by our ancestors that the ascent of the more accessible southern slope failed entirely. Their route took them up a valley filled with poisonous asps, and many men died, before it was abandoned. The men of the table raise their eyebrows skeptically. Although I’ve read that the bite of the Armenian mountain adder, now almost extinct, is fatal. This serpent is also known as the viper of Ararat. 

But before this, our ancestors were in the first wave of men to arrive at the airfield, which was near the rail siding where the members of the expedition assembled. A temporary camp of tents was set up, while the routes were plotted and assignments made. The large numbers of the party and the sheer amount of provisions took time to gather. 

There was a great dispute among the expedition officers of where base camp should be located, and who gets to be assigned to what route. My namesake walks away out of the big tent, and sees Tsummer offer a cigarette to one of the pilots, and start to chat him up. He was a most affable man with superb manners that hid his incisive mind. He was an aide to Alexeyev, the chief of the general staff, and had his ear. He and my ancestor had previous dealings with each other, and were on good terms. So Niklaus walks up, and hears the pilot say: we can no longer fly that high. It is too risky; the downdrafts almost took the plane, the last time I went up. What do you mean by this? It is very dangerous flying in the shadow of the mountain when it is warm, even if there is no wind. And he makes an abrupt dropping motion with his hand. The cartographer will have to do make do with the information gathered from previous flights as he finishes his maps. If you had to go, which route would you take? Tsummer asks the pilot. It is much shorter from the south, and the terrain much easier and gradual. But it will be much colder once you hit the snowline, and then you must climb up over the shoulder of the mountain to descend to the site. That is very high. 

My ancestor interrupts. How stable is the snow? Does it break off in sheets and fall down the mountain? The pilot nods. I see this happen once. 

What about the other route? It is very rocky in portions. Many lateral morraines. You will not be able to take horses. My friend is an engineer. His work party will hew out the rock to make a trail. The pilot shakes his head no. You will end up being your own pack horses. You must ascend a hanging valley into the gorge. It is too narrow and steep for even mules. And I do not know how you will be able to climb up to reach the little plateau where the Ark rests. We have an alpinist, Tsummer explains. Then take excellent care of him. If he gets injured, you won’t be able to get close enough to even see the Ark from the north. Kolanich beckons Tsummer from the main tent, and he motions my namesake to come with him. You are a brave man, he tells the pilot, and shakes his hand. Thank you for sharing your insights with me. If there is ever anything I can ever do for you, do not be hesitant to ask. 

You know him? he asks my ancestor as they walk back to the big tent. That is Kolanich; he is the favorite of Brusilov. I will introduce you. This is the engineer Baluerin. I’ve heard of you. The man who gets the artillery enough shells. And he shakes Niklaus’s hand. What did the pilot say, Tsummer? The north route is the only feasible one. The conscripts will have to be burden bearers; the terrain is too rough for horses, and that we won’t even be able to see the Ark, let alone set foot on it, without the alpinist. Where is he? And they all go look for him, and find him napping on the ground in the shade of his horse. Kolanich shakes his head and sighs. He will get stepped on by his animal. And they all walk over to him. But his horse is like a watchdog, and wakes him up as they get near. And he dusts himself off, and stretches, and gives his horse a carrot. And von Julin comes to attention when the three officers come close to him. While his horse nuzzles the back of his uniform for another carrot, but doesn’t bite him. At ease, Kolanich commands. None of that, when the conscripts aren’t around. We’re all of the highest nobility, and ought address each other as equals. If I did not know your father, I would think you a revolutionary, Kolanich, Tsummer says to him, and they laugh and von Julin smiles slightly. Well, von Julin, where would you set up base camp? At that place where the horses must be left behind. And the men nod. Which element do you wish to be assigned to? The north approach. I will see to it, Tsummer promises. Why not the south? Kolanich asks. After all, the distance is shorter and the terrain more favorable. If my orders were to reach the summit of the mountain, I would take that route. But not to reach the Ark? Kolanich wonders. And von Julin is silent. If you see men going to their destruction, it is your duty to warn them, my ancestor tells von Julin sternly. And yet he remains silent. There is a time to speak, and a time to refrain from speaking, Tsummer states, and yet I wish that more men thought as you do, Baluerin. Von Julin is correct in this, Kolanich states. Once the order has been given, we salute and execute the commander’s intent, to the best of our ability. But there is still room for initiative in harmony with the commander’s desire. You think this way because your general trusts you, Kolanich. Tsummer tells him. It is not like this in most of the army. Commands are given in minute details just so there is no room for discretion. And this expedition is so top heavy that there will be complications with the chain of command.

What do you think of this, von Julin? Kolanich asks. He shrugs. Many are called, but few are chosen. And they all are silent as they gaze up at the mountain in the distance. My ancestor spoke then. Let us resolve to acquit ourselves as men. We each are immortal until God’s purposes for our lives are fulfilled. And he puts his hand out, and von Julin covers it with his, and Kolanich covers it with his, and Tsummer covers his, and von Julin covers his, and Kolanich covers his, and Niklaus covers his, and Tsummer finishes. May His will be done, my ancestor says. And they all say, Amen.

Everyone at the dinner table is staring at Klaus. You are an incredible storyteller, Klaus, Inez’s cousin says, as he pauses to take a sip of water. So what happens next? This Klaus needs to be driven back to his residence, so he can take a nap before he plays tennis later at the club. With Raquelle, I suppose, Inez says crossly. I asked you first, he protests. She glares at him. I work for a living. I don’t have time to take tennis lessons. You sound just like Kola, he replies. You two are so cute, her aunt says. Is this your first fight? You really want me to back out? Klaus asks Inez seriously. No, go ahead. But I’m calling Alexa and Elke right after your doubles game for a full report. Now I’ll let you drive my MINI if you keep telling the story, she says, enticing him with a toothy smile. Everyone laughs. 

So the next morning, Klaus decides to tend the garden. And Elizabeta comes out and sees him pulling weeds. Hans-Klaus, what are you doing? She shrieks in laughter, but then comes and joins him, now in her bare feet, and they work together in silence for awhile. Oh, you will tell me that story too, Inez says, but another time. Now back to the Ark expedition. He looks at her. I think of her often as I tend my garden on Mt. Athos. We did not know her very long before she was cruelly taken from us, but the impact she had on all our lives was immeasurable. Her life was not without purpose, and her memory lives on in each of us. But you think that I live in the past, and that no woman will ever measure up to her, he tells Inez. So I will continue the riddle a little further. 

So we work in the garden in silence. Do you approve of Colonel Kolanich? She asks after awhile. Is he suitable? Very much so. You will laugh much and be happy together. And she tears up. You are a good man, Niklaus Baluerin. My mother says that I’m a fool. And she sniffles and wipes the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand. So Helena and my brother? she asks me. He cannot sow his wild oats and then pray for a crop failure, I tell her sternly. And she laughs hard at this; she knew her brother was an honorable man who would never do such. You jest to say that you do not take them seriously, I think, she says after a while. Why are you so sad, Klaus? And she looks me in the eyes. And is suddenly mesmorized. You all think that a subject must voluntarily fixate on a watch, or the tip of a pencil, or a ring to be hypnotized. It is not so. Perhaps this is why we are taught that staring is impolite. And when you see Alexandra and Finn gaze at each other, you can feel how mesmerized they are by the other. 

It was then I realized my power, far greater than that of my ancestor. He would pull out a large gemstone and hold it up in his fingers, as if to bribe the rascal he was dealing with. Can you see its imperfection? Look closely. And a greedy man would do this and fall into his trap. But I do not need to use artifice. People are naturally drawn to look at my eyes. When I invite them to, well - I was not known as the best detective since Sherlock Holmes for nothing. 

Elizabeta could have been mine. I would not have had to compel her; she understood me and liked me. All I would have had to do is suggest that she ponder why her brother does not approve of Kola. But that is not who I am. I will remain steadfast in my integrity, though I be the last of the noble house of Baluerin. She and Kola were perfect for each other, and I knew it. And their happiness did not detract from my own. All those at the table are staring at him in awe. Now you know why I wear sunglasses when I’m in public, and I compel you to keep my secret, he says wagging his fingers at them, and everyone breaks out in laughter. And Inez grins at him. 

But back to the Ark expedition, as the lovely lady has requested. 

Von Julin was a man of few words, and had to be plied by the others to speak his mind. Now tell us your objections, and I will voice them as my own, Tsummer promises. It is not for me to dissuade others from doing their duty, von Julin says. The south approach may bear fruit if the weather remains fair. It is not a technical climb, and the descent over the shoulder of the mountain should be feasible on foot. At best, the party will see the Ark from an overlook with a field telescope, congratulate themselves, and return to the airbase. They will not attempt the descent of the glacier with ropes, as that would be the point of no retreat. Even if I had my choice of men, and were assigned to that route, there is still the problem of weather. If a storm front comes in, I will be unable to see through the snow and wind, and there will be no shelter. 

It is less effort to descend than to climb, my ancestor counters. Less effort, yes, but more care must be taken. The snow may be unreliable, whereas I can anchor against rock coming up from below, von Julin answers. And how will you supply your party? How will you deal with the injured? 

So we go from the north, Kolanich says. How would you proceed? The mission is settled. The route has been scouted by airplanes and is now being mapped by the cartographer. There remain three problems which need to be addressed sequentially: the divided command, the lack of unit cohesion, and last, but most important - the supply chain; an army marches on its stomach. These are beyond my purview.

Why are you only a senior lieutenant, von Julin? Tsummer asks with a grin. So he doesn’t have to think of these things, Kolanich says, and they all laugh. Back to the fray, Tsummer says, and he and Kolanich return to the main tent. They were fast friends, and both adroit at handling men: Kolanich at imposing his will on his subordinates, and Tsummer at influencing his superiors. 

What is your training, before the war? My ancestor asks von Julin. I was an engineering student in Germany. I thought as much. I also trained in Germany; my classmates called me Klaus. Not Hans-Klaus? They always called me Hans-Grigor. And they both grinned, and shook hands, and became friends from that moment on. 

My greatgrandfather and Grigor von Julin were much like Sherlock Holmes and Watson, and understood each other, and worked well together. And it was Niklaus who climbed behind Grigor, and anchored him. He was the second to set foot on the Ark. 

Mt. Ararat is a barren and desolate wasteland of rocks. No trees. No water. I think it would bore you if I told of the logistical feats that engineer Baluerin managed, getting supplies up that mountain using block and tackle, and organizing the supply parties from the rail siding to the base camp and up the mountain. He stayed at the base camp, with the doctor, and several civilians. And there was a steady trickle of injured men that come down the mountain, telling of comrades who had perished, of the fearless alpinist, who climbed obstacles like a spider, and of the callous officers, who smoked cigarettes, while the men struggled with their burdens. 

The men from the reserve group at the airfield came to base camp as reinforcements, and told the story of the cursed southern expedition, and of the numbers who died from the bites of the asps. And the conscripts began to murmur that it was not for man to see the Ark of Noah, and that God was against them. 

It was then that Niklaus decided to leave base camp and join the others up on the mountain. And he led a resupply party up the mountain. They found the expedition stopped along a steep scramble, where a man has just been killed by a fallen rock from above. Throw his body off the trail, Kolanich orders. And those closest to him do this, and his remains disappear into a chasm. It was an awful act to witness, and the conscripts hated Kolanich for ordering it. 

That evening Niklaus told the other officers of the failure of the southern party, and the pessimism at base camp. Stay with us, Kolanich tells him; your work down there is done. And then asks Tsummer, have you ever used that? Indicating his sidearm. Tsummer nodded and said nothing. And the mood was very somber. 

The further up the mountain they went , the slower the progress and the more injuries and deaths. The air was thinner at that level, and the men were tired with their large burdens. 

Baluerin, Tsummer, and Kolanich stayed close behind von Julin, and did what he did. And they now carried their own gear, like him. And he turned them into alpinists. They no longer trusted the conscripts, who were grumbling openly. The senior officers were the only armed men on the expedition and wore pistols on their belts as a sign of their authority. They drove the men hard, and burdened them with large packs, while they carried nothing. The distinction of rank was to be preserved. 

One of the civilians, a photographer, spoke loudly to one of the officers who was smoking a cigarette, indifferent to the plight of the laboring men below him. Carry your own gear like them, and he points up at us, far ahead of the others. The men are struggling as it is. And the other officers sullenly comply, because they are afraid of the men, and knew how easy it would be for ‘an accident’ to happen. 

The party stopped at the base of a gorge, to where the alpinist would have to scale the first of a series of ledges. Kolanich tells the general that they should camp here and rest. And wait for the rest of the supplies to come up the slope. 

We are almost there, the general said in an ill-timed speech, as everyone gathered around him. We are about to make history, and your names will live on forever. 

One of the conscripts, a giant, spit at him. And Grigor von Julin killed him with his knife. It happened so quick. And then he was wiping off his blade on the man’s clothing. He was greatly feared thereafter. It is easy to kill an enemy soldier with a rifle, at a distance. But up close and personal, not many men can do it, and to do so in cold blood... And he says nothing afterwards, and just goes about looking after his gear. Which was even more frightening. He was a hard man. 

The general orders a burial party for the man, and the conscripts sullenly comply, and cover his body with stones, while the officers and civilians gather together. Your thoughts, von Julin? I’d be honored if you would allow me to lead the climb, your Grace. The general nods. It might be prudent to set up a permanent camp here, and have only volunteers go beyond this point. The general scoffs at this. No one will volunteer. We soldiers who have seen combat are fatalists, von Julin replies, I think your Grace will be surprised. Those who do not desire to go further must remain under authority, and bear supplies up to this camp. And that is what the general does. He has a large meal prepared, and after everyone has eaten, a bottle is passed around. Everyone drinks out of the same bottle. This is as high as rank goes on this mountain. The alpinist will only accept volunteers to follow him beyond this point. Those who do not wish to go higher will continue to bring supplies up the mountain, to this camp. The many serve the few, the photographer says sarcastically, and the men murmur. And the general looks at Grigor. The shaft will always be longer than the tip of the spear. But both are necessary. The Holy Scriptures teach that it is appointed unto man once to die. If you wish to behold the Ark of Noah before you do so, follow me in the morning. Civilian, it is easy to get impaled by a broken spear. Guard your tongue. And he stares him down. Rest well, those of you who are climbing. This will be the last easy day, and he spoke the truth.

We’d better get going, Klaus tells Inez. Who shakes her head no. I want you to finish the story. You all see my eyes, and have heard of Finn’s eyes. So you know that our ancestors were faithful. What about Kola? He wears contacts. 

So what were their eyes? A blessing or a curse? Just a sign of what they had seen. None who heard their story could doubt it.

You cannot stop there, Klaus, her nephew protests. The rest is only for family. Elke and Alexa know it. Perhaps you can charm them into telling it. And everyone laughs as the teenager pouts. Yeah, Inez, when are you going to have them over? her cousin asks. They’re heading to Switzerland this week. Is that where the wedding is going to be? That is top secret, Inez replies. Are you going? She shakes her head no. I haven’t been invited, she says, looking down at the table. Everyone looks at Klaus. You aren’t taking her as your plus one? her cousin asks incredulously. Klaus shakes his head no. It would be inappropriate, as I am going to read over them and join their hands. Only four guests have been invited so far; Alexa’s parents, her guardian, and Gunter Mannerheim. I’ve asked him to escort you, he tells Inez. Elke wants you to go with her to Switzerland to meet him. He’s an old man, and doesn’t like to travel, and doesn’t speak Spanish, so him coming here is not viable. Why didn’t she ask me? She’s afraid you’ll tell her no, and make an excuse about money. Inez looks at him seriously. I’d like you to do this for me. There are things I cannot tell you about myself that he and Elke can. Such as? I’m a very wealthy man, he says quietly. If we are going to court in earnest, you should have your own security. You need to see what that’s like. Traveling with Elke and Alexa will give you an idea of what to expect. Her parents look at each other. I’ll be heading out of town tomorrow with Kola. Where are you going? her nephew asks. To the bachelor party, of course.

**Summer Estate, Switzerland.**

Gunter, Elke shreeks. And gives him a big hug. And flutters her fingers in front of him, so he can see her engagement ring. Proved you wrong, didn’t I. Your grandmother has come back to torment me, he says. A butler gets his coat. 

What does your friend know, and in what order did she hear it? He’s never hid his eyes from her. She knows how Lissie choose Kola, but nothing more. She thinks that they were fraternity brothers at university, and that Lissie is Finn’s foster sister. And she knows that all our great grandfathers were on the Russian ark expedition. He stopped telling the story at the camp at the base of the Ahora gorge. 

He said that there are things that you would tell her about him, and implied that it was about his wealth, and her needing private security if they continued their courtship. Gunter nods. Alexa wants to know her role. Should she help translate? 

No, just be there for support, when the time comes. I’ll want to size Inez up over dinner. Get her talking about Klaus, so I can gauge her reaction. I think this is premature, Elke, and so do Finn and Kola. 

After the meal is over, with Elke trying to make small talk in English, but Inez and Alexa are intimidated by the elder attorney with his stern patriarch air. Do you know why I am here? The attorney asks Inez in German, and Elke translates. Inez shakes her head no. Elke does this too, and Alexa bursts out laughing, as does everyone else at the table. And Elke grins at Inez.

Klaus has told you how the four families are related. That their ancestors climbed Mt. Ararat in the late summer of 1916, and saw the ark of Noah, and their eyes were the sign of what they had seen. Elke translates and Inez nods. Where did he stop the story? This is the last easy day, Inez tells Elke. 

***

The next morning everything was covered in a sheet of ice, and everyone was miserable. The general looked at Grigor, and he shook his head no. And they waited there three days, as it rained. The general summoned everyone on the overcast morning of the fourth day. We will try again next year. Let us descend. You are hereby relieved of command, Grigor tells him. Kolanich, you are now the senior officer. Place this man under arrest for insubordination, the general says. You will do no such thing, Kolanich says. And puts his hand on the holster of his pistol. Those who will do their duty, stay. The rest of you, leave now, he says. No one moves. Civilian, Pehr says to the photographer, will you come with us? You are fools, he says. None of you will make it off this mountain alive. 

And everyone leaves, and it is just the four of them. Better less, but better, Grigor states. Let’s cache some supplies just in case any of us make it back. And they disassemble the camp, and prepare for the climb. We won’t need our sidearms where we are going, Grigor says, and they take them off, and stow them. And suddenly the sun comes out from behind the clouds. And Grigor grins. I was born for this, he says looking up the gorge. And he climbed that gorge, and they made it up to the plateau, at the base of the canyon, and beheld the ark of Noah with their own eyes. It was huge, as big as an aircraft carrier, a third of it sticking out of the ice, and a small lake was beneath it. And they see storm clouds starting to come in, and they know that they are going to die. The ship of faith, Grigor tells them. It would make a fitting casket, and they all laugh. And so they climb the ice shelf, up and over. And Grigor is the first to lower himself down unto the ship, and the planks still bear his weight. The ship is now covered in sleet, and the winds are howling as they descend. They go inside to get out of the wind, and must crawl on their hands and knees, as it is pitch black. Niklaus speaks. Come, let us worship and bow down, and kneel before the Lord our God our Maker. And they join arms and prostrate themselves. And Niklaus gives thanks to the Almighty for allowing them to see with their own eyes the truth of his Holy Scriptures. And they all say amen. And are silent, as they lay down to fall asleep. In that darkness, each of them is given a vision. Grigor saw the expulsion of Adam and Eve from the Garden of Eden. Ivan saw the conquest of Canaan. Pehr saw into the future, and his vision ended with the red flag ascendant with its hammer and sickle. And Niklaus saw the world that was before the flood, the building of the ark, the gathering of the animals, and the Cataclysm. 

Grigor awakens them, and tells them that he can see in the dark, and that it is time for them to leave. And they follow him off that mountain. Back at the camp at the gorge, they tell each other of the visions they have seen, and of their eyes. 

And it is revealed in time that they have each been given a special blessing. Niklaus is able to see into the past. Pehr is able to see into the future. Grigor can see at night. And no man can stand before Ivan in battle, having seen his eyes. 

But they have also been cursed. They do not age. They stay as they were that day throughout the decades since. Elke and Alexa take each of Inez’s hands as she starts breathing in gasps. The three friends competed for Lissie’s hand, and Kola won her heart – you know this story. Lissie went missing in the Revolution, and it was Klaus, with his special ability, who discovered what happened to her. And he dug up her body, and reburied her, and disappeared for twenty-four years. It was he who convinced Hitler to take Mt. Athos under his protection, and to break his pact with Stalin and attack the Soviets. 

But back to the end of the Great War. Finn, Kola, and Pehr saved Finland and Estonia from the Soviets. After those battles were over, Pehr became a banker, working for the Warburg family, who he knew from his time on the peace delegation. Kola became an industrialist in France. And Finn became a doctor, with his hobby of sleight of hand. Finn and Kola broke, as Kola lived dissolutely. Pehr had a vision of the Soviet invasion of Finland, and they all fought together in the winter war. Finn continued on as a soldier during the major conflicts of the 20th Century. He has sought to be a healer during the peace, and became a chiropractor, and later on, a masseur. I was his roommate at law school, but another war beckoned, and he left, but not before introducing me to Pehr and Heloise and Elke’s father. 

Kola helped rebuild Europe after the second World War, and is now a major player among the Russian oligarchs. Klaus alternated between being a police detective in various countries and living at Mt. Athos. He is multi-lingual. 

It was in Switzerland that Pehr fell in love with Heloise, Elke’s grandmother. He told her his story, and she married him anyway. And that is when the others found out how they could rid themselves of the curse. From the day he married, Pehr aged normally, had a son, and eventually died. Nothing passes down to the children, as Elke will testify.

But Kola and Finn were determined in their fight against the Soviets, and would not be distracted. By the time the evil empire fell in 1989, Elke had already been born. Grigor invented Finn, so he could become a contemporary of Elke, and helped raise her after the death of her parents. Kola, by this time, was a billionaire. His wealth and influence is on such a scale that he now acts through proxies. After fighting the Taliban, Finn met Alexandra and fell in love, and you know that story. Klaus left Mt. Athos to see Kola join hands, and Alexandra and Elke introduced him to you.

He wishes you to know who he is. He says that he was 26 when he saw the Ark, and that is how he would like you to think of him. He will completely remove himself from your life if you do not attend the ceremony. You do not need to explain; it is a woman’s prerogative. But if you do attend, he will court you in earnest, with the hope of winning your hand in marriage. As one of the four original investors in Pehr’s insurance company, he is rich beyond the dreams of avarice. I do not know the man personally, only by his sterling reputation. 

Finn does not approve of his friend’s test. He believes it is too soon and too abrupt. He thinks you worthy, but unready. He asked me to tell you that whichever path you chose, it would be a mistake to hurry down it. 

Kola has asked me to convey his appreciation for the tactful way you wrote your article about the dinner. He believes that you and Klaus are wrong for each other, and that you have a promising career in media ahead of you. He believes that you are both rushing into this for separate reasons. You wish to have Elke as an intimate friend, and Klaus wishes to stay close to Finn. He believes that you both like each other, but it is his wish that you each find true love. 

Elke has my card. Please let me know if I am to escort you; I would be honored to do so. Guten abend. I will see myself out, Elke. He bows and leaves.

Alexa looks at Elke. I’ll leave you two alone. And she gets up and leaves the table. Elke continues to hold Inez’s hand, and says nothing. It’s too much, she says after several minutes of silence. Strong and gentle is a rare combination in a man, Elke responds. But he’s so old. His body is twenty-six. What should I do, Elke? I like to go for a walk, when I’m thinking through something. Let’s bundle up and walk down to the gate, then come back for some hot chocolate. 

They walk down the winding drive to the gate, and see a guard with a Belgian Shepherd on a leash. Elke goes up and greets the guard by name, and gets a nod. The man has a slung submachine gun. The dog is working, don’t pet her, she tells Inez. I’ll introduce you to her later at the kennel if you’d like. Inez says nothing to this. 

I’ve always known, Elke says as they turn around to go back up the drive. So I cannot imagine what you are feeling. What about Alexa? Finn met her on a house call to her parents as a masseur. She already knew him as Finndune, and had seen his magic show on a date with a classmate. And of course, Alexa got into a big argument with him, and asked him how he could believe in fairy tales. And he told her and her parents the story of his great grandfather and the Russian expedition, ending with “four men went up that holy mountain, and four mystics came down”. And then invited them all to see his magic show that Tuesday. He and Alexa started courting after that. Kola interrupted a dinner date, and told her the secret to break them up. He would not allow his friend to become attached to a godless woman. He even showed her his eyes to scare her. Finn told him that he should marry me, and that got rid of him. And then Finn took off his dark glasses and showed Alexa his eyes, and told her goodbye. And she knew the story was true, and saw that he loved her. And you know the rest. 

Why did Kola propose to Alexa? To get me to move on. Why did he chase after her for such a long time? That was a big act. The idea is to separate himself from who he was in the past, and to give me the credit for his transformation. When his past surfaces, he’ll say, I’m not that man anymore. Who was he in the past? That doesn’t matter. I’m marrying a good Christian man who loves me with all his heart, one who will be faithful and loyal and true. We’ll deal with it together, when it comes up. 

How do you feel about Klaus, Inez? Well, I liked him enough to introduce him to my family. But Finn’s right. This is way too much, and way too fast. I don’t think I should go to your wedding, Elke. There’d be too much pressure and expectations. I do want to have a career in media, maybe have my own talk show like Su one day. If we would have dated like normal people, he would have found that out eventually. Now if I tell him, he’ll probably buy me a TV station, and not let me earn it. He’s not grounded, Elke. Yes, he is, Inez. He has a deep faith in God. That’s not what I mean. He doesn’t have a purpose in life, and making me happy, well, that’s not really a calling, is it? Kola is a merchant prince. Finn is a healer. But I think Klaus is looking to me to give him direction, and we both know that is wrong. 

I always knew that you were smart, Inez, but I didn’t realize how smart until just now. Elke says after a while. May I tell Finn what you told me? I think Klaus needs to hear it. Don’t tell Alexa though. I want to hear her case when we get back inside. Elke nods. I hope that we can stay friends. I do too, Inez says, and they hug. 

Thank you, Elke, for not pressuring me, and letting me talk this through. 

_Later that night, in front of the fireplace, drinking hot chocolate…_

You’re making a huge mistake, Inez. One that you are going to regret for the rest of your life. You told us how your family loves him. You’ll be able to stay in Argentina, and keep up the Sunday afternoon tradition of your family get togethers. He’s super smart and talented. He’ll be chief of detectives in no time. Or he’ll start an engineering firm. Or whatever you want. All you have to do is hint which you’d prefer. And he’ll buy you your own TV station or magazine, and you can live out your dreams. Elke and Inez look at each other. 

And we’ll all be together on the holidays, and our kids will grow up together. Everyone is silent for awhile. You’re so bossy and opinionated, Inez tells Alexa. How does Finn put up with you? He’s strong enough to stand up to me, and he’s very patient. What is he going to do after you get married? We had a big fight over this, Alexa confesses. I don’t want him being a masseuse for the rest of our lives. But he’s committed to being a healer, and passing on his knowledge. So he’s going to medical school in BA, while I finish my political science degree. We get free tuition and the school is going to get us a house on campus, if he agrees to teach massage in an elective seminar…only open to caregivers. It’s called compromise, Inez, and it works. You’re full of selfish ambition, and it’s lonely at the top. Ask Kola if you don’t believe me. 

Alexa, I’ve made up my mind. I’m not going. End of discussion.

Fine. When you get married, I’m not coming. And you are not going to be a part of my life. Alexa! Elke says. What? I’m just being honest. She cannot be on the outside looking in. It won’t work. I like you, Inez, and you know that. You’re going places. But Finn is going to be my husband, and my loyalty is to him, and his friend. You won’t have a place in our lives. Whoever Klaus marries will be my sister. 

Elke looks into the fire. Alexa is right, Elke. We won’t be able to stay close, even though I love you girls. 

What are you going to tell your family? Alexa asks. I’ll think of something. Probably that you and I had a fight. And they both laugh. Now Elke, you have to take us skiing, before we go back to BA and go our separate ways. Elke tears up, and nods.

***

When they get back, Yuri picks up Alexa at the airport, while Elke and Inez eat supper at her parents, and then hug goodbye. I love you, Inez, Elke whispers, and kisses her on the cheek as she leaves. What happened to Alexa? I don’t want to talk about her, Inez says. And her parents look at each other. 

Well? Anna asks her daughter. Who shakes her head no. Did Finn see this coming? Klaus asked him not to look. What are you and Elke going to do about her? She’s going to call Jorge. He’ll set her up with one of the guys on the team.

**Sunday dinner, at Inez’s cousins house**

So why aren’t you going to the wedding? He’s not Catholic. End of story. Her mother looks at her father. Inez, it’s not like he’s a heretic. Protestants are our separated brethren, he tells her. You can show him the right way. You know he’d do anything for you. I don’t want to live like that. Armed guards with submachine guns at the gate. Elke told me that I shouldn’t pet the guard dog while it was working. And being followed by a tail car everywhere we go. No privacy in public, strangers just come up to her, and she’s so gracious. That is not me. It’s like she’s a prisoner. Her cousin shakes her head. Give me his number, she says. You’re an idiot. Yeah, her nephew says loudly. Her aunt asks if she had a fight with Alexa. Your mother says that she didn’t come with Elke to drop you off at the house. Elke is really sweet and a dear friend, Inez says, not answering. Kola doesn’t deserve her. Will you have her over, so she can tell us the rest of the story of the Noah’s ark expedition? Inez shakes her head no, and starts to cry and gets up from the table and drives back to her high rise apartment.

There’s two messages on her machine. Inez, it’s Tomas Alaverez. I’ve been thinking about writing my biography, and I’m looking for a ghostwriter. I really liked that article you wrote. It makes me want to go out to dinner with you, just to hear you talk about food, and describe people. And I’m rambling. I hate answering machines. You’re probably listening to this laughing at me. Call me back so I can hear you laugh in person.

 _The next message_. Inez, it’s Tomas again. I’m an idiot. My number is twenty five. Ha. Ha. Seriously, my number is…

**Afterward**

Tomas and Inez are married six months later, at her cathedral. They send an invitation to Finn and Alexa c/o Universidad Favaloro, where they attend graduate school. And it goes unanswered because Alexa throws it away. Elke sends a note congratulating her, and invites them to come visit. _I’ll send the jet. And I know Kola wants to workout with you, Tomas._ Inez looks at it for a long time, and then shreds it. 

***

 **Years later** , at the family dinner after mass, her cousin grabs her while the guys are watching a pregame soccer analysis on the wallscreen. Tomas is one of the announcers. Her father and uncles look at the screen, proud of their handsome local celebrity son-in-law. 

Her cousin leads her into another room, and opens her laptop. I’ve got to show you something. I’ve been keeping tabs on the man who got away. I know Tomas is a great guy, but you gave up your dreams when you married him. I knew what I was doing, Inez tells her. Elke gave me a taste of what it was like to be famous, and I didn’t want that for myself. Tomas handles it so well, and is such a good father and role model. 

But you could have had this. Check him out now. And they see Klaus with a shaved head and goatee, looking really tough and Slavic, as his hairline has receded. He’s speaking at his church, The Crossroads, in Las Vegas. The Youtube clip is titled “Faith in Action”. It is the fastest growing church in North America, she tells Inez. Is he married? Yes, and she’s way taller than him. She does a google search, and clicks images. There is a family picture of Klaus and his pregnant blonde wife sitting together on a couch smiling, framed between a closeup of the faces of two little blond girls. All are deeply tanned, and the house and furnishings look expensive. Could have been you, her cousin sighs.

And pictures of Klaus with celebrities and politicians, and the covers of his books. I just finished his audiobook “Let God be God”. It is so profound, and yet accessible. Even the Pope admires him.

They look at more pictures. Klaus and Finn with their families in Haiti, distributing food and water after the earthquake. 

Another picture of Klaus holding hands with a Haitian child and his mother, as Finn listens to his breathing with a stethoscope. He’s wearing a Doctors Without Borders shirt and contacts, and he and the child are grinning at each other. Inez and her cousin both smile at the picture. He has such an incredible patient manner, her cousin states. People from all over the world go to his rural clinic in upper Michigan. There is a picture of Klaus and his wife, Finn and Alexa, and Elke, holding hands praying over a Christmas meal. There is an empty chair for Kola, who languishes in a Siberian prison for “tax evasion”, his Russian holdings confiscated by the government. I hate that cheating bastard, her cousin says, I hope he rots in prison. Don’t say that, Inez says. Elke’s children should know their father. They will now. Haven’t you read the latest? 

**Pravda headline** : The aged Orthodox monk and mystic, Elton, traveled from Mt. Athos and met with our wise and gracious leader, whose health has noticeably improved since their talk. 

They talked about forgiveness, a spokesman said. About not casting stones, and the example of Christ recounted in the Eighth Chapter of the Epistle of St. John. Our leader was so moved by this, that he immediately ordered the release of the philanderer, Ivan Kolanich, and exiled him from Russia. 

Our President for life, affectionately referred to by patriotic Russians as “the Czar”, is renown for his Biblical piety (and has been cited as an inspiration for the “muscular Christianity” teachings of the famous expatriate man of God, Niklaus Baluerin). Prior to the Russo-Turkish war, our Czar became a tireless advocate of the Orthodox faith. His denunciation of the Armenian Genocide, and demand for reparations inspired millions around the world. He guided Russia in a just war against the unrepentant Turks, and restored a secular tolerant government there, which earned him a Nobel Peace Prize. Now a protectorate of the Russian Federation, Armenia has its historic borders restored, and Christian pilgrims are free to explore Mt. Ararat, the rumored resting place of the Ark of Noah. 

_Breaking News_ : An Australian defense official confirmed the construction of a Russian outpost on the Antarctic coast. We’re monitoring the situation. The militarization of the Antarctic continent is a concern, but King Andrew has been assured by their ambassador that the “research base” is to prepare cosmonauts for long term space exploration. The race to seed Mars as a subsurface astrobiological habitat continues...

Any regrets, Inez? Tomas and I are happy. It’s been a good life. Klaus and I wouldn’t have worked. He was way too old for me. Get serious. Remember that story about the Russian ark expedition? Yes, he is such a good storyteller. It was him, Finn, Kola, and Elke’s grandfather who went up the mountain, not their ancestors. They were granted immortality for what they saw. But they each gave it up when they got married. Lissie really did live back in 1916. That is why we could never figure out his riddle. Her cousin gapes at her. That is so brilliant, Inez. I always knew you had a book in you# 


End file.
